


Refractions

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess), Shatterpath



Series: Refractions [1]
Category: E.R.
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Femslash, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-25
Updated: 2012-07-25
Packaged: 2017-11-10 17:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shatterpath/pseuds/Shatterpath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Zo arrives in Chicago and an extremely far-reaching series of events is set in motion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ying and Yang

**Author's Note:**

> Category: Sequel to Reflections and Resurgences. Begins mid-2001, a year and a half after Reflections.
> 
> Pairings: Oh, you’ll see. The couple you will be introduced to is my take on the old idea that opposites attract. And the two of them could hardly be more opposite...
> 
> Personal disclaimer: Zo Goldston, so briefly introduced in Reflections, is mine! Bwahahahahaha! I hope you enjoy her and any other newcomers, as well as my version of Cook County General.
> 
> Disclaimer: “ER”, the characters and situations depicted are the property of Warner Bros. Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant C Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This site contains stories between mature, consenting adult females.
> 
> Notes: All words in _italics_ are phonetic foreign words, mostly Greek.
> 
> Spoilers: There are references to events in E.R. season 7, but most of this tale is an ‘alternate universe’ version of season 8.
> 
> Important note: **Mark Green died with his first collapse in the ER back in December of 2000**. A Xena lookalike doctor named Mel Tairnghael has replaced him as Head Attending.

 

**Road Rage**

 

++ Zo ++

 

(6-18-01)

 

Tired was such an inadequate word.

 

Two thousand two hundred sixty nine miles, seventy-four hours, four cities and one family reunion later, I pulled my sorry, exhausted body from my truck and popped the vertebrae from ass to skull. “Never again,” I murmured softly and willed my rubbery legs to head into my destination. “Never again…”

 

(6-19-01)

 

Consciousness returned slowly. I had vague memories of X’s hospital and a harried staff of doctors and nurses and support personnel. X hugging me tight and grinning before setting me up on a lumpy couch in some ratty old lounge. Then an even more vague series of impressions of getting up, the achy sensation of being in the damn truck yet again, stairs and the exquisite bed I was currently sprawled boneless in. A jolt of adrenaline had me bolt upright in the bed. “Behbis!” For a heart-stopping moment I thought someone had left my poor baby in the truck to suffer before my hoarse cry was answered with a reassuring shriek. Still shaking with exhaustion and the blast of false energy, I stumbled over to pop the latch and gather up my best friend in the universe. “ _Yasoo Behbis, Mooleepsess. Fahghitoh?_ ” ( _Hi baby boy, I missed you. Food?_ ) That set my big boy squawking happily and flapping his wings with gusto. The blue and red macaw had never been an easy pet, but he had been well worth it. With Behbis happily perched on my shoulder and grooming my curls, I went in search of food.

 

Xavier had told me about this loft, but the reality of it had me blinking in surprise. It was huge! A massive textile factory in another life, there were still the footprints of massive machinery in the glossy cement floor that led out to great brick walls that soared a good three stories overhead. The roof was heavy beamed and flat with pipes and wiring artfully draping down to the living areas where I was. But the crown jewel was the entire wall of windows that made up one of the four walls of the loft. You could see the whole damn city from here! The individual panes, dozens and dozens of them, had to be bigger and probably heavier than I was. The room I had been sleeping in was a smaller edifice inside this massive space.

 

“Wow,” I breathed and Behbis chuckled in my ear. Only… it wasn’t Behbis. Whirling, I saw a smiling man exiting another of the smaller buildings. He was good-looking in a ‘Backstreet-Boys-in-their-late-thirties’ kinda way and smiled kindly.

 

“Amazing, isn’t is? Well worth the investment. We didn’t get a chance for introductions last night, I’m Bruce Campbell.”

 

Nearly faint with relief, I strode over to shake hands with him. “ _Dohksta toh Theh-oh, stenohonmenee…_ ” ( _Thanks be to God, I was worried…_ ) Flushed with embarrassment, I grasped Bruce’s outstretched hand and smiled weakly. “Sorry, I lapse into Greek sometimes when I’m tired or stressed.”

 

His smile turned impossibly soft and gentle. “Since you’re both, I can understand that. Let me feed you and the baby here.”

 

Over French toast and fresh fruit Bruce told me how he had made friends with Xavier over drinks and really good sex. They had decided that they made better pals than fuck buddies and were quite happy with the arrangement. As though conjured up by the conversation mostly revolving around him, I heard the front door open and moments later X framed himself expertly in the kitchen archway. “Well good morning,” he beamed and strode over to drop into the seat beside me. “You look much better.”

 

“Another day of sleep and I might even feel human again. Has Mangas behaved?”

 

“Mostly. She misses you.”

 

“I’ll go get her right after I eat. I’ve had nothing but fast food except in Colorado Springs.” 

 

“That’s okay, I’ll get her and you can tell me how everybody’s doing.”

 

“ _Efharistoh_ ( _thank you_ ),” I responded without thinking and flushed at their chuckles. “Thank you, X.”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

When news of my graduation had made the rounds, the barely hidden desperation to get the hell out of Los Angeles had gone with it. As much as I missed my sister desperately and would love to be near her, Colorado Springs was too small for me. At my heart I was a city girl and required a large stage. Then Xavier had offered to help get me settled into Chicago. The only place that would have been better was New York, but I wasn’t up to that kind of competition yet. There was no contest as to which direction my life was taking at that moment. 

 

“Feel better now that you’re here?” Bruce questioned and the slow grin on my face probably spoke volumes.

 

“Immeasurably.”

 

++ Xavier ++

 

I’d met young Zo at Darya’s wedding three months before and had found one of the best friends in my adult life. And that was a long-distance relationship! Having her here in Chicago was going to be a ton of fun. In my own loft just down the hall from Bruce’s pad, I went to Mangas’ cage and rummaged around for her furry body hiding inside it. “C’mon princess,” I sighed. “Your mom’s here.” As though understanding me, Mangas didn’t nip for once and let me collect her. Zo’s delight was positively Christmasy when she saw her other pet.

 

“Mangas! _Ellah dhoh_ _!_ ” _(Come here!)_ Zo cried in delight and the wiggling ferret in my grip sprang to her owner. “ _Yasoo_ , sweetie.”

 

I knew ‘ _yasoo_ ’ from Darya using the informal Greek hello/goodbye for years and years. The rest of it was between woman and ferret.

 

“Was she too much trouble?”

 

Kindly not mentioning the teeth marks under the band-aid on my right hand, I grinned, “not at all. Picked her up from the airport yesterday morning and let the nurses coo over her all day. She was stressed and loving the attention all at the same time.”

 

“I’ll bet,” Zo cackled. “Aggressive attention slut that you are, huh Mangas?”

 

The ferret just chattered imperiously at all of us.

 

++ Zo ++

 

A long nap with a bellyful of good food and my furred and feathered companions close enough to touch set me back to rights and out into the big room. Much more awake now, I could see the scattered pieces of art on the walls and an enormous fountain the size of a compact car. Oh, Mangas was gonna love that. The sun was just beginning to slant at odd angles across the space and I tracked the play of light and shadow without thinking. Right there, near the center of the room was where I needed to set up my place of sanity and salvation. A few halogens and warm yellow bulbs above that sweet spot and I’d be rarin’ to go.

 

“So, do you like it?”

 

There had been nothing but warmth and humor flowing out from the same place as the voice, so I didn’t even bother to turn as X stepped up beside me. “So, Bruce is cool with me putting a couple of easels up?”

 

“Are you kidding? He’s dying to watch you work, hon. Don’t you recognize that piece to the left of the fountain?”

 

Sure enough, it was one of the sunset pieces that I’d done after watching the evenings fade over the Ventura Mountains for weeks on end. “Sweet, I didn’t know he had that.”

 

“He doesn’t like to fuss, you’ll learn that about him. Shall we get your stuff unloaded?”

 

“Hell yes! I haven’t so much as sketched in nearly a week!”

 

We horsed around and hauled my stuff up to Bruce’s apartment until it was good and dark. I’d had years of practice in keeping my belongings manageable and my entire life fit inside of a truck shell and a small trailer. There was no real furniture, and almost everything was collapsible or served multiple functions, as I had a penchant for generally remaining unattached to material things. It added up to the ability to go where I wished with all that I owned like a turtle. If I could bear to part with the fancy ass futon mattress with matching wrought iron frame and the antique African-European chest, I could even ditch the trailer. But I loved the exquisite old hardwood carved into fanciful animals of that great continent, even if it was half the size of a twin bed. Especially the grand lions in bold relief, sleek lionesses streaking after impala and antelope and the great male in all his glory, nearly life-sized on the lid. There was a shadowy animal slinking along the bottom edge that I could only assume was a jackal or maybe a small hyena and I often stared at it when I needed inspiration. X too, was madly in love with the heavy box, confirming my visceral need to own it. Just last Thanksgiving I’d seen the massive trunk, tucked into the back of this funky little shop in Little Tokyo and felt as though I’d found a missing link to my soul. I loved it as much as the strange marble carving that I’d inherited after mom and dad had passed away. It was a winged horse, roughly coaxed from the pale block of stone, as though straining for its freedom. Stained with age, dad had insisted that it came form the old country and was very old. It made me feel connected to them somehow.

 

Relaxing with a cooler full of beer, X and I were sprawled out in lounge chairs on the roof. The suffocating heat was finally tapering off and I no longer felt like I was hiking through a jungle in a wet blanket. “ _Theh-mou!_ ( _My God_!) This heat is horrid!”

 

Xavier chuckled as he relaxed beside me and pointed bare toes at the glittering skyline. There was an easy quiet between us, full of the promise of new beginnings. “So,” X mused softly and I rolled my head over to eye his dim profile. “How’s Darya? I spoke to her, but sometimes she’s really hard to read, y’know?”

 

Memories of a couple of days ago flooded my mind’s eye. It had been a bittersweet visit to Colorado Springs to see Art and her family there. So much had happened to them and they could tell me so little about it. The past two Christmases with them had given me a mad love affair with the whole damn gang of them. My niece and nephew in particular were amazing, sixteen months old and well on their way to being little geniuses. It was a bit intimidating if I was to be honest and I told X all about them. Since Janet was his oldest friend, he probably had heard it all, but I gushed anyway. Young Emily still took her job as the eldest of the youngsters very seriously. 

 

“Sorry, I got caught up in the good stuff,” I sighed as Xavier’s original question resurfaced in my head. “She seemed more stable than I’d have thought in all honesty. Karen is really good for her, if the commitment ceremony hadn’t been enough to prove that. Love and time has done the job of healing.”

 

“But that one day a year.”

 

“Yeah, that one day a year…” It was hard for me to verbalize my impression of Darya Farazell. “There aren’t many people who can sense impressions the way I can,” I mused and a glance assured me that Xavier was listening. “The way you know Darya can. Emotions and vibes like sight or sounds or smells across a part of the brain or soul neither of us can really understand. You and Janet and whoever this ‘Legs’ is and Em were the only ones that really understood that, outside of her sister. Art tried with me, but I think only Fin ever really felt what it did to me. Art’s a little banal for something as esoteric as being able to sense sometimes what people are thinking and feeling. Lot of the time I hardly believe it and I’ve been listening to it all my life.”

 

How did I put it into words… even to this sensitive man who had known that woman I had so much in common with their entire adult lives?

 

“To find love with a soul like that and then have it torn away… I can’t even imagine. To feel her pain in a way no one else can understand is a unique torture. What makes it all worth it is that precious rosebud of pure happiness that Emily and Karen give her. That blissful warmth gave her back her soul.”

 

Xavier smiled softly, his heart in his eyes. “That’s pretty much exactly what I hoped to hear. I’m really glad you were able to be there for her.”

 

“Me too.”

 

++ Xavier ++

 

As grateful as I was to Zo for her unparalleled understanding of my old pal, I knew she needed to have some fun. “You up to some partying tonight? Or should we put it off until tomorrow so that you can draw?” The look of indecision was quite humorous. “Just chill for now, the places I’m thinking of aren’t going anywhere.”

 

“Okay, you win. I just felt a mosquito, so why don’t you tell me about whatever you care to while I sketch downstairs.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

(7-23-01)

 

“So,” I asked with a grin. “Did he love you?”

 

Zo chortled evilly and rubbed her hands together like a cartoon villainess. “Bwahahahaha, the job is mine! Mine, I tell you! Mine!” I laughed appreciatively at her humor and she flopped down onto the couch beside me. Five days of fun, sun and sleep had set her bouncy personality back to rights. “I start Monday on one of the south end routes. Looks like all that bike riding is paying off.”

 

Drake was a buddy of mine that ran a messenger business in Cook County. Time sensitive documents were shuttled all over the area from everything to courtrooms to hospitals like mine. With Chicago’s traffic, the nimble bicycles were actually faster most of the time.

 

“So now that you’re gainfully employed,” I teased lightly and she laughed.

 

“Yes, you mercenary, I can start buying the booze.”

 

We’d spent our time together screwing around at clubs and local restaurants I’d come to love. While I worked, she sketched and made herself at home in Bruce’s second room. Speak of the devil… here came the old lawyer now.

 

“Well this is a pleasant surprise,” I crowed as he came in with briefcase and suit coat in hand. “You’re early.” Then the melancholy, worried expression registered and Zo and I both went to him. “Bruce, babe, what’s wrong?”

 

“Grandam had a stroke,” he sighed heavily and I winced. His irascible old granny had managed to alienate nearly the whole clan. Only Bruce seemed to be able to get close to her anymore, and he adored her.

 

“When do you need to go?”

 

“My flight’s tonight. Do you think you can take care of this place, Zo?”

 

“Sure,” she agreed immediately and hugged him tightly.

 

**The Meeting of Eyes**

 

++ Kerry ++

 

(7-4-01)

 

It was impossible to miss her. The doors to the ambulance bay thumped open and a healthy young goddess with a bicycle perched lightly over her shoulder strode in like she owned the place. A quick glance around sent her to the desk where she chatted very friendly-like with Randi for a moment. A gesture in my direction should have warned me, but I was far too enraptured by this dark vision. I was helpless to turn away. She was tall and lanky with the build and fashion sense of a trackstar. There was a geometrical armband tattoo nestled between the fine muscles of her upper left arm, another on her right ankle. Like a panther in bicycling shoes, she stalked over to me with a smile that could light up New York. Behind me, I could practically hear Malucci drooling over this Mediterranean enchantress. Not that I was in much better shape. Up close, her eyes were the most amazing shade of tropical aquamarine, surrounded by a fine-featured face and an explosion of silky black curls that, even in a ponytail, hung halfway down her back. Something skittered up my spine like a bolt of static electricity or a sudden, sharp breeze on overheated skin.

 

Wow. I could feel the blaze of connection like I had never even imagined.

 

Those striking eyes flickered over my face, before dropping to the lab coat and her smile widened even further, if that were possible. “So you’re Doctor Weaver.”

 

Was I? 

 

Shaking off the paralysis this striking young thing had caused, I pulled my dignity around me like tattered armor. She had a low, smoky voice that was sexy as hell…

 

“And you are?” My voice was challenging and sharp, even to my own ears, but she never flickered.

 

“From Drake’s Messenger service. You have a package for me?”

 

Of course she was here on business. No luck that I could just run into her somewhere and just maybe…

 

Shaking off that train of thought, I led the way back to my office and tried to ignore what just might have been a flirtatious sparkle in her eyes. It took a few moments of flustered paper shuffling before I found the documents that needed to be at the local courthouse by five. By then my hormones had calmed enough to face her.

 

Only to have my mouth dry and my pulse race. With an easy nonchalance, she was studying the various signs of my accomplishments framed on the wall and her strong profile was thrown into relief. But that’s not what made me stare. It was the lazy hand stroking her flat belly where the snug t-shirt had ridden up. When those eyes shifted to the side and she grinned knowingly, I flushed and jerked my gaze away.

 

“Here,” I ground hoarsely and thrust the sheaf of papers at her. Hopefully all the documentation was there or I was wasting perfectly good money on this woman’s services. That thought made me flush even harder and trace her hands with my eyes as she took the papers and stashed them in her bag. This had to stop…

 

But I couldn’t help myself from watching her cotton and spandex-clad body stride through the ER and back into the sultry July afternoon.

 

When things had gone so horribly wrong with Kim, I had given up on the base, visceral needs that were suddenly plaguing me now. I hadn’t been able to completely get over what had happened, despite Xavier pushing at me in his almost playful way. I adored that man, but a legacy of denial and selfishness had left me too numb, too damaged. But something about that young woman had burned me. A hot, carnal burn. So I chalked it down to hormones and a mid-life crisis.

 

Hours and hours later, I was tired, cranky and desperate to get away from the sweltering ER. Beside me, Randi lit up and called out to someone walking in. “Hey! You’re back from the trenches.”

 

I froze when I recognized the low voice that returned the greeting. “Yep. Back and safe. Your friend at the courthouse had a message for you, Doctor Weaver.”

 

Sure enough, it was the ocean-eyed bike messenger, looking tired and sweaty. She was holding out a slip of paper and I took it with a hand that I fully expected to shake. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re very welcome,” she soothed softly and, as though sensing I wasn’t up to conversation, she turned her attention back to Randi. “And Drake wanted me to tell you that he’ll have a very personal thank you the next evening you’ve got off.”

 

The suggestive comment made Randi laugh and smack the woman on the arm. “We’ll just have to make sure we keep you employed then!”

 

“Good deal. Goodnight Randi, Doctor Weaver,” she said and her voice gentled again when she said my name. Too startled by her empathy to resist, I looked up into those extraordinary eyes. There was a feral kindness to her that tugged at my fragile trust, and I smiled.

 

“Goodnight. Thanks for stopping by to see us.”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

It wasn’t until after she was gone that I realized I didn’t even know her name.

 

Over the next week and a half, I saw more of my Mediterranean goddess as messages were run around the city by her gangly 10-speed. To my amusement, she seemed to be good pals with Randi and, with a bit of charm and persistence, befriended Abby as well. It seemed that every time I would look over, her gaze would be resting on me. A quick flash of that dazzling smile and her attention would shift away again. God, she was a tease. As curious as I was, I couldn’t bring myself to ask Randi what her name was and felt the separation of my position keenly.

 

(7-14-01)

 

It took a hot day like the bowels of hell, a fresh roast beef sandwich and an ice-cold cup of lemonade to finally coax my nervous fanny over. My Mediterranean goddess strode in wearing faded jeans and another of those thin, skin tight tank tops, arms full of paper bags and a tray of drinks. The look of relief on Abby’s face was comical. “Thank God, lunch is finally here. May I?”

 

Nodding my permission, I watched the three of them converge in the lobby and rifle through the sacks. In a moment Randi held two wrapped subs in her hands and gave her pal a skeptical look. Laughter floated across the ER and I smiled. Then the aquamarine eyes flickered to me and I swallowed hard. “Doctor Weaver,” she called in such a friendly tone that I found myself drawn over. “Seems like Randi here couldn’t make up her mind and got me all confused. Would you like a roast beef sandwich with Swiss and bean sprouts?” 

 

All three younger women let loose with peals of laughter as my face screwed up into a strange expression trying to decide if that sounded like a palatable combination. For an endless moment I basked in the inclusion to their little group before taking the sandwich and steeling myself to turn away. “Thanks,” I murmured and was brought up short by the beautiful stranger’s lazy comment.

 

“Ah, ah, Doc. You don’t get the lemonade unless you join us. Who knows when you’ll get a break again?”

 

Neither Abby nor Randi seemed fazed by her behavior and I felt myself drawn in by the thick condensation on the huge plastic cup and her teasing eyes… 

 

At that memorable and casual first lunch in the ambulance bay, I finally learned her name. While they chatted away, I sat between Abby and my mystery woman and just listened. “Oh, please,” Abby scoffed. “Malucci trips over himself every time something good looking and curvy walks in here. Boys.”

 

“Yeah,” Randi added with a bark of laughter. “So don’t consider yourself special, Zo.”

 

Zo, I repeated internally and tried not to grin like an idiot. An exotic name for an exotic girl. Oh, this was hopeless…


	2. Shakespeare In the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Zo has started to settle into her new life... time to make an impact on somebody else’s!

++ Kerry ++

 

(7-21-01)

 

“Doctor K!”

 

The shout caught my attention and I turned around. Like some kind of pagan-fairy gypsy in wild colors and tattered blue jeans, Zo bounced over to regale me with her smile.

 

“You struck me as the cultured sort,” she flattered in that sexy voice and the periodic flash of the tongue piercing distracted me. As a doctor, the idea horrified me, but I’d heard stories about some of the uses of those metal rods through flesh and the idea was making me fantasize like mad. “I don’t know many people in this city and have tickets.” In the dramatic pause where I tried to get my brain back on track, two purple cards materialized in her hand. “To Shakespeare in the Park.” If those were what I thought they were, her prospect was positively delicious. They were hard to come by, not to mention this sexy young thing’s company. Fighting a queasy case of nerves and hormones, I felt myself smile back and quickly snatched the tickets from her hand.

 

“I’d be delighted Zo. And you’re in luck, I’m off at six.”

 

“I’ll be here with bells on.”

 

“I’ll just bet you will.”

 

Her soft chuckle followed me down the hall.

 

Several MVA’s ran us ragged that late afternoon as John Q Public decided to ignore the basic rules of the road. Several times, I’d caught a glimpse of inky curls as the clock crept past six. It was after seven before I wearily dragged myself to the board and rubbed off my final patient’s name. As I gathered my things, Abby came over to stand beside me. “She’s a natural.”

 

Following the line of her gaze, I saw Zo with several children. She was obviously entertaining them with some kind of wild tale. With sweeping gestures and ridiculous facial contortions, she kept them utterly enraptured. That young woman’s energy was a force of nature. “Yeah,” I grinned at Abby and she smiled back. “Maybe I should offer her a job.” Abby’s chuckle warmed me. Ever since I had been dragged outside for that unexpected sandwich lunch, both Randi and Abby had been almost friendly. I was growing to enjoy it.

 

“Have a great night, Chief. You better get out before something else hits the fan.”

 

“Agreed. Have a good night, Abby.”

 

As I approached Zo and her gaggle, I realized that she was speaking in fluent Spanish. Better than mine! Better than some natives of the language. Taking subtle note of my presence, Zo quickly wrapped up her story that entailed something about dragons and clouds. Each child got his or her hair ruffled and flashed smiles at their entertainer. The scene was touching, something that was an unexpected bright spot in my dismal ER. But hadn’t she been just that since the day she’d walked in here?

 

“Shall we?” Zo enthused as she stood up beside me.

 

“Lead the way.”

 

Only in the parking lot did I remember that the only transportation I’d seen her with was strictly muscle powered. “Unless you have a rickshaw, maybe I should drive.”

 

Chuckling, Zo pulled a ring of keys from her pocket and pressed the little remote there. Tail lights on a butch blue Dodge truck flared to life with a trio of sharp beeps. “Never judge a book by its cover,” Zo advised sagely. “I only look like a starving student. Do you really think I wouldn’t treat you like a lady?”

 

Her gentle tone took any sting from her words and I was warmed by the flattery. “Charmer.”

 

“I learned from the best.”

 

It was a quick, hot wave of jealousy that swept through me. So shocking was the sensation that it froze me to the spot beside the door she had so gallantly opened. I had no memory of wanting something so badly, merely for the sake of just wanting it. Never needed something for purely selfish reasons. I always had a reason! Always! There was a means to an end to everything I did. But this frisky little minx made me want to grab her and take what my traitorous body so desperately craved.

 

++ Zo ++

 

Wow. When Kerry’s gray-green eyes went smoky, I swallowed hard. This was one of the reasons I generally preferred the company of women. No man could ever offer that intense look! Certainly none that I had ever met. Something about this wounded lioness had tangled in my heartstrings the very first time I had laid eyes on her. She was such a startling contrast between fierce independence and aching vulnerability. 

 

And now this helpless, possessive glare like a hungry animal on the hunt. Normally, that kind of possessiveness would irk me, but from her I loved it. That reluctant, predatory ‘mine’ look spoke volumes. Seems the good doctor had been repressed for a very long time and I desperately wanted to get to know all of her. What could I say to encourage her? To show her I meant her heart and soul no harm? What could I do that wouldn’t send her scurrying back into her emotional armor?

 

A slow grin reeled her in closer. The family charm really did come in handy sometimes. With a deliberateness that would have put any actor to shame, I pitched my voice low and soft.

 

“Bet you’re a great teacher.”

 

Goal! The pink flush raced across cheekbones and ears. Ever so lightly, I put my hand on her arm and felt the fine muscles above the cuff of her crutch. Those fascinating eyes dropped to stare at my intruding limb before returning to my face. That defenseless look was utterly charming and I vowed to be very careful with this enigmatic creature. Besides, I had the feeling that if I did hurt her, I might not survive the experience. This was a woman who got what she wanted, a woman who survived by any means necessary. 

 

Gentle pressure against those arm muscles made her step toward me. “C’mon, the show awaits.”

 

Silence hovered in the truck and I wasn’t certain how to break it. Kerry was so nervous that I wondered if I’d bitten off more than I could chew on without choking. Then I saw her competent fingers reach out to trace the snapshot on my dash.

 

“That’s my sister,” I supplied quietly and felt the familiar ache of separation. “She’s my strength, my sanity and the best damn teacher I’ve ever had.”

 

It was a great shot. Janet had taken it when Art and Sam had walked in to find me unexpectedly visiting a couple Christmases ago. There was Art in her oh-so-serious fatigues and me in my wild gypsy clothes. Both of us grinning in stupefied delight as we hugged loosely. It was my favorite picture of the two of us.

 

“Damned if she doesn’t look really familiar. You’re close?”

 

“Very. She took me on as a ward when I was thirteen and she taught me the power of freedom and responsibility. It was rarely easy, but I think I turned out pretty good.”

 

“You miss her?”

 

It was as much a statement as question. A quick grin pulled an answering expression from Kerry. I liked making her smile, it was obvious she didn’t do it enough. “Desperately. She’s career Army and I’m still busy sowing my wild oats. We see each other when we can. Do you like dogs?”

 

That startled her slightly and the grin deepened. “They’re okay, I guess. I’ve never had one.”

 

“Maybe you’ll get to meet Cooper or Lucky. Art’s MP-K9 corps and her dogs are amazing. Cooper was retired a couple of years ago, but she lives with the teen that adopted him, so she gets to be with him a lot. Here we are.” The comical double-take that startled over Kerry’s face caught my attention away from the road for a moment. "What?"

 

++ Kerry ++

 

The shock rattled through me as memories matched up with the snapshot on the dash. "Wait-a-minute... I met an Art with dogs named Lucky and Cooper, at a commitment ceremony in Colorado."

 

“When were you there?” Zo’s shock wasn’t feigned, I could see that. “Yes, Art’s my sister. How the hell did I miss meeting you?”

 

“Meeting me?”

 

“Kerry, I was there.”

 

My life had suddenly grown very strange. “You were?”

 

“Yep, came in the day after the ceremony. I was held up by school.”

 

“I had to leave early to get back here.”

 

“Freaky. We almost met back when.”

 

There was a strange look on Zo’s face that said that she was faintly disturbed by the odd turn our lives and conversation had taken. I could sympathize. I had been on Kim’s arm at the time and happily in love. The harsh memories of that loss still grated, but I shoved it aside. This delightful young woman was worth it. She smiled faintly when I touched her arm, feeling the muscles relaxed beneath the café a latte skin. “I’m rather glad that we met the way we did. I’m not sure I could have handled the awkwardness around friends and family.”

 

Zo actually laughed at that.

 

++ Zo ++

 

Ah, Jackson Park. I had loved this place from the first time I’d seen it and the fascination had never waned. It was an artist’s paradise, always full of fun and company and entertainment. “You up for a bit of a walk?”

 

“Sure, why?”

 

“My place is down the street a few blocks and the parking around here sucks.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

The neighborhood abruptly switched from funky to industrial. The locals had obviously been renovating this area for years and it was finally beginning to show. I loved it here and it was going to be hard to leave if that time came.

 

“You live here?”

 

“Don’t sneer, Doctor Weaver,” I admonished gently. “This building is amazing. I’ll show you around later.”

 

The security gate led into my familiar, cavernous parking garage. Only two of my six neighbors were in this fine evening. There was no chance for me to get Kerry’s door, as she was out of the truck faster than I was. A quick glace around earned me a skeptical look. Kerry was so expressive. It was still quite hot and I admired Kerry’s slim, muscled arms as she stripped off her overshirt. The silky purple camisole was extremely flattering and I was quite intrigued by her slender but strong physique. Visions of paint and light began to play out in my head. I knew Kerry Weaver would do wonderful things for my creativity.

 

I could hardly wait to hit the paint and canvas.

 

Grabbing the big backpack from the space behind my seat, I led the way back into the sunlight. Conversation was light and casual as we walked back to the park. My driven little doc kept getting ahead of me, crutch or no crutch, but it gave me a chance to watch her move and again appreciate the contrast that was so her. Without the obstruction of the lab coat, I could watch her awkward yet graceful stride.

 

At the park, I shot Kerry a significant look and she flushed and handed over the two tickets. There were only few spots left and I quickly commandeered a few square feet on one of the grassy tiers. “Wait, don’t sit yet,” I instructed and she paused long enough for me to yank a blanket from the depths of the backpack. With a flick of the wrists, I gallantly offered my lady a place to sit. Kerry was pleased and carefully settled herself. “Egg salad, roast beef or turkey?” I asked casually and fished out all three kinds of sandwiches. Cooler-insulated backpacks were a wonderful thing. Picnic in hand, we settled in to enjoy ‘Twelfth Night’

 

++ Kerry ++

 

It didn’t take much soul-searching to realize that this was the most fun I’d had in far too long. Fresh, solid food, good entertainment and the company of a beautiful and attentive young woman. Zo had been a treat so far; charming, complimentary, friendly and observant. My eyes were drawn over again to study the striking lines of her face in profile as they were lit by the faded sun. Certainly, she possessed physical beauty, but it went far deeper than that. Zo had an unexpected soothing effect on my battered soul and coaxed me into wanting to try again. There was something about her that awakened and soothed the beast inside me.

 

Zo was leaning up against the short wall that made up the tier behind us; one arm thrown negligently over a bent knee and the other stretched out behind me. I hadn’t leaned up against the stone wall because I was still nervous about what was or wasn’t happening between us. Curiosity and need got the best of me in the long run and I shifted back to lean up against the wall. Close enough to feel her body heat against my shoulder blades. 

 

While Zo didn’t move, I felt her attention shift to me for a long moment. Heart and hormones sang when her arm curled around my shoulders to tuck me up to her side. Oh yes…

 

Only torches lighted the amphitheater now, and they guttered in the lazy breeze. Normally, I would have been too cowardly to curl up with Zo like this, but God, she felt good! It was rare that I let my heart rule my head. Hell, I couldn’t think of a time I had…

 

Except that first night I had let Kim in.

 

Into my heart, my soul, my body. They were so different, these two tall women that had shown me interest as a viable, attractive human being. More importantly, they had made me believe it. By her looks and personality, there was little doubt in my mind that Zo could have her choice in partners. Yet she had made her attraction plain, going to great lengths to reel me in. So I vowed to be more careful this time, more open and willing with my heart and body. All I could hope for was that she was all I wished she was. Ignoring the twinge in my right leg, I curled along Zo’s side and rested my head on her shoulder. Unsure of what to do with my hand, the problem was solved when Zo captured my dangling fingers and pressed them to her firm abdominal muscles. 

 

“Comfy?”

 

“Mmm hmmm,” I hummed dreamily, remembering making the same wordless response to Kim as I would watch her get ready for her day, my hungry eyes following every move…

 

That brought me up short as I suddenly realized that the pain of Kim’s loss miraculously seemed to be lessening. Oh, I still ached inside for how badly it went wrong, for losing that first real love, but Zo’s attention was beginning to heal those raw edges. The Shakespeare play, as good as it was, seemed far less interesting now and I shifted my head to look up at Zo’s profile.

 

Night-dark eyes met mine and I felt the jolt like electricity down my spine. There was something so familiar about her... As though we’d met a hundred times before. I wanted her so badly that I was salivating. Literally! Close enough that our noses touched, I watched the firelight dance in her shadowed gaze. Unable and unwilling to resist her, I felt her breath on my lips, the soft brush of skin on skin. With that combination of gentleness and barely restrained energy so characteristic of her, Zo leaned into me, pressing me back against her arm, the pressure of that fine mouth increasing. Nearly panting with need and stimulation, I buried my hands in her magnificent hair and let her in. It was a tangle of lips and tongues, heat and wet. I dimly took note of something hard and mobile in the wet embrace, the banal part of me remembering the tongue ring. I was ready to straddle her leg and give myself to her, to hell with the few hundred people crowded around us!

 

Thunderous applause shattered the quiet evening and sent my BP soaring into orbit. For a brief, insane moment, I thought it was aimed at us and panicked. ‘Twelfth Night’ was over and the crowd was on their feet. Then the sting, high on my forehead, registered. Sure enough, Zo was clutching her face and blinking rapidly.

 

“Oh shit, Zo, I’m sorry,” I babbled and breathed a sigh of relief when the electric park lights suddenly blazed to life. “Let me see.” With practiced ease, I pushed her hands away and ran fingers over the defined planes of her face. She hissed a couple of times, but nothing was bleeding or out of place. “I didn’t come out here to break your nose,” I teased softly and she smiled.

 

“Or to play doctor?”

 

I chuckled and felt a visceral thrill race through me at the suggestion behind those words.

 

Play doctor, indeed.


	3. Tag, You’re It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the bonding continue!

++ Zo ++

 

Whatever I had expected from Kerry, it hadn’t been her boldness. Not to mention the surprise head butt! The taste and feel of her still lingered and I wanted more.

 

In fear of being trampled, we hurriedly gathered our things and moved on with the crowd. Kerry remained pressed into my back as we went along with the flow of all the other human cattle. Then her hand slipped into mine and the crush faded away…

 

Eventually, we stumbled out of the crowd and I mooed disdainfully. Kerry’s chuckle made me grin. “C’mon then, I promised a tour of my funky building.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Despite having only met Xavier Greer briefly, we’d been fast friends. The day I’d finally earned my doctorate, he’d called and told me to come hang out in Chicago. Needing a change of scenery from familiar ole’ Southern California, I’d jumped at the chance. So I moved in with his buddy, Bruce, and instantly been in love with the place. When a family emergency out of state had left his loft vacant, I jumped on the chance to sublet. The weeks since had been totally worth the hassle of moving halfway across the country. A massive brick edifice trimmed in intricate stone and woodwork, the old industrial building was magnificent. It soared just over four stories tall and sprawled some 500 feet down the street. “There’s only six units in here,” I explained to Kerry. “And they’re all on the same floor. Wait till you see the inside.”

 

We’d already passed through the parking garage after a pause to let her grab her purse. As we crowned the wide flight of stairs, I glanced over to watch her expression. “Wow,” Kerry breathed.

 

It was a brick hallway, lined with tasteful wall sconces and potted plants. No big deal for an old building in Chicago. Until you looked up to see the shadowed ceiling soaring nearly three stories overhead. “Pretty impressive, huh?”

 

“I’ll say.”

 

At the final door I quickly undid the locks and swung it open with a flourish. “Here we are.”

 

++ Kerry ++

 

Despite the darkness beyond the door, I could sense the vast space. Then Zo reached around the doorframe and fiddled with something that beeped at her. Lights blazed to life within, illuminating an amazing space. There were great groupings of plants, sparse furniture, colorful paintings and a fountain the size of my car. At the center of the vast room was a trio of easels carefully arranged on sheets of paper the size of tables. 

 

“Wow,” I breathed again and Zo was delighted.

 

“Great place, huh? I’m subletting from a buddy while he’s out of town.” A sudden, inhuman screech made me jump and Zo laughed, her warm hands on my hips to steady me. “That’s my parrot, Behbis. Just ignore him.” Nodding, I was grateful and regretful to step away from her heat.

 

Once I’d fully stepped inside, other details became clear. The warm, strategic lighting glittered off panes of glass that seemed to fill the entire far wall that faced the street. The lights of the city twinkled out in the darkness.

 

“Wait until you see it in daylight.”

 

“I’d like that,” I responded distractedly while I tried to take everything in. A gentle touch on my arm nearly made me jump out of my skin. That smile captivated me once more and I was lost in the memory of those lips on mine. There was no mistaking the flirtatious pleasure in her expression or in her seemingly casual touch.

 

“Would you?”

 

Confusion washed over my panic and arousal. “Would I what?”

 

“Like to see this in daylight?”

 

Did she mean what I thought she meant? The smoky look in her eyes said yes. Was that first kiss in the park enough to prove to me that this was, indeed, what I wanted? Did I keep to all the rules I’d always followed and simply walk away? For a brief eternity, I wrestled with myself; saw the disappointment blossom in her animal gaze. That did it. Surprise mixed with pleasure as I threw caution to the winds and dropped the crutch to throw both arms around her neck. It was a reminder that she was half a foot taller than I was!

 

“Are you asking me to stay?” I purred in a voice I barely recognized as my own. 

 

Zo’s reply was slow and sexy, but touched with nervousness, as she bent towards me. “Maybe not asking exactly. More like indicating that you would be quite welcome if you wanted to stay.” It was odd to hear the shy note enter her voice. It was also quite heartening to my nerves. Young Zo seemed afraid of nothing, and yet I was making her anxious. What a relief that it wasn’t just me! With a tug on the silky curls at the base of her neck, I answered her in the best way I knew how. There was uncertain shyness in the meeting of our mouths now, as we tasted our deepening connection. There had been no one in the few short months after Kim and I couldn’t help but draw comparisons. Warm and sweet, and charged with growing eroticism, Zo’s kisses were persuasive, coaxing me to participate fully. Like a fencing match, we parried back and forth, each bringing the interaction up by small levels. I tentatively brushed my tongue over her exquisite mouth; she nipped at my bottom lip once she had captured it. I tugged encouragingly at her silky curls; she dropped her hands to my hips and pressed us crushingly close. When at last we separated only far enough to speak, those blue-green eyes glittered like sun-warmed jade.

 

“Yes,” I whispered and was unsurprised to hear my voice crack. “I’d like to stay.”

 

“Good. What time do you have to be back to work?”

 

Work? Oh, right… “Seven. But I can deal with being shorted some sleep.”

 

“I’ll try not to keep you up all night.”

 

Slowly, she bent her knees to bring our faces level. The maneuver pressed her strong legs between mine and sent shivers up and down my spine. “Oh, that’s alright. My staff will probably forgive my tiredness if I’m smiling, right?”

 

That earned a chuckle and Zo tightened her embrace to bodily lift me. There were many times in my life that my stature and my crippled leg bothered me, but not with her for some reason. Wrapping my solid leg around her hips, I was discomfited and relieved when she moved one hand to tug the weak one into the same position and hold it there. “C’mon then,” she murmured against my mouth before we were lost in kissing once more. There was a soft bed cradling me, and Zo’s warm body and soul surrounding me. Oh, she was full of surprises, this one was. Not only did she prove that many of those urban legends about tongue piercings were rooted in absolute truth, but I found a ring through the soft hood of her clitoris as well. Pressing against it just right had taught me all kinds of useful things about Zo as a sexual partner, not to mention the conflicting emotions when I got a good look at it. Such a startling contrast between her tender, ruby flesh and the implacable silver hardness of the surgical steel. The feel of that contrast against my own tongue was even more startling… but I rapidly grew to appreciate it.

 

By the time we had worn ourselves out, I knew that I needed to keep her. Was I strong enough to be honest about her? Like I should have done with Kim? It wasn’t like Randi and Abby hadn’t already made some pretty accurate guesses, judging by their occasional, teasing smirks. I yawned expansively against Zo’s throat, enormously pleased with the glow of satisfaction ebbing throughout my body. Sprawled inelegantly along her side with my bad leg thrown across her hips, I traced the line of tiny foreign letters tattooed over her heart. One of her surgeon-sensitive hands was stroking my hip and making the mostly-dead nerves sing quietly.

 

“You curious?”

 

The question had caught me off guard and it took me a moment to realize that she meant the tattoos. There were more of them; the small drawings on her skin, but this one fascinated me the most. “Yes.”

 

“If I tell you that story, will you tell me about your leg?”

 

So blunt. So fearless. Normally I would have snarled at someone probing that subject, or merely frozen them with that cold Weaver attitude. Not this time. There was something about these tiny letters, something important and painful if her voice was any indication. “Yes,” I said again and Zo took a deep, shuddering breath.

 

“It’s the names of the four children in my family. Written in my first language.”

 

Raising myself onto both elbows, I looked into her strong, fine features and studied her striking coloring. “Not English?”

 

“Not exactly. I learned three languages simultaneously.”

 

The guessing game was interesting and she picked up on that, letting me draw my own conclusions. Since my logical doctor brain hadn’t gotten much use this evening, I let it out to solve the mystery. “I heard you speaking flawless Spanish in the ER.”

 

“Yep. That’s two. Any guesses to the third?”

 

“What are the names?”

 

“Ah, ah. That would be too easy.”

 

“Art and Zo? Obviously nicknames, but I never asked you what they were short for. Hmmm…”

 

It wasn’t helping that she was pressing soft kisses to my temple and lightly stroking my back. In trying to figure out names, I suddenly realized something quite obvious.

 

“Zo?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What’s your last name?”

 

Peels of laughter echoed around the room for long moments. “Goldston,” she finally chuckled. “Lots of immigrant families had their last names Americanized when they came here.”

 

“Goldston,” I repeated softly, liking the name, but being no closer to figuring out her racial background. “Italian?” The mockingly distasteful twisting of her expression made me laugh. “I’ll take that as a no. But Mediterranean, right? You certainly have the features and the coloring.”

 

“You’re getting very warm.”

 

Then it hit me. The letters on her skin were blocky and formal looking. From my med school days, I remembered seeing the original Latin words for some of the terms I had to know. And that made me think of the oldest culture in the northern Mediterranean.

 

“Greek?”

 

God, I was growing to love that smile. “That was pretty fast. Most people take forever. My paternal great-grandfather had the last name changed when he immigrated sixty years ago. And you?”

 

“Dunno,” I said quietly, casting my gaze away. The pain of loss and separation were still a dull ache. “I’m adopted.”

 

Zo’s hug was abrupt and warmly suffocating. In an instant I was sprawled on my back with her weight like a blanket over me. “Were your folks good to you?”

 

What an odd question. “Yes. They were. I lost them a few years ago and I miss them.” Like black storm clouds over the afternoon sun, her expression darkened. The wracking pain was startling on her normally sunny face. “How did you lose them?”

 

A heavy sigh escaped Zo and she dropped flat onto me, drowning me in her long curls. “Car accident,” she whispered in a ragged tone. “Art and I survived. I was only ten.” Where earlier I had clung to her in lust and eagerness, now I wanted only to comfort. “Cory, the eldest, took us on as wards, along with _Yaya_ , our grandmother. It was hard, but we needed to stay together.”

 

If Zo had been ten… how old were the rest of them?

 

“Poor Cory. Not even twenty, newly married and suddenly he has all of us. I think it aged him before his time. But he did a great job and he and Diana are still together after all these years.” Once again, Zo was propped up on her elbows and I could read her eyes. “Once Fin turned eighteen, he went to seminary and sent what money he could. _Theh mou_ , we lived skinny those few years before Art hit that magic number and was off to boot camp. Once she was past her initial training and into MP school, she drew up the paperwork to become my sole guardian so that Cory and Diana to get back to their own family. Living with Art was the best. I still miss her somethin’ fierce.”

 

I remembered the funny and competent woman that shared Zo’s genes from the commitment ceremony in February. Maybe someday I could get to know her better, since Zo spoke of her so adoringly. The thought startled me. This spunky young thing had crawled under my skin so far, so fast.

 

“How long ago?”

 

“Almost sixteen years.”

 

Ohmigod.

 

That meant that… “Yes,” Zo smiled gently and kissed me. “I’m twenty-six.”

 

I was five years older than her eldest brother, for God’s sake! 

 

“Scandalized Kerry?” She teased and the kiss was longer this time. Despite my shock and mortification, I felt myself responding. “My brothers will be impressed that both us girls bagged MDs.”

 

“I’m old enough to be your mother,” I whispered, torn between horror and humor. The response was immediate as her lanky body ground into me, pubic bone and rock-hard nipples making me hiss in response.

 

“I assure you, Doctor Weaver,” Zo growled like a wolf in heat. “That my feelings for you are anything but maternal.”

 

I had no response to that but to haul her closer and let her lead me where she may.

 

++ Zo ++

 

A walking bundle of contradictions, this one was and it was a bit difficult to keep up sometimes. The iron-fisted dictator of the ER contrasted with the vulnerable woman she protected. Even in bed, Kerry could be aggressive one moment and shy the next. All of the contrasts were intriguing and dizzying. Pushing aside my inner psychologist, I lost myself in her taste and feel and smell. There was little extra flesh on her small body, just flat working muscle. She was a moaner; I’d discovered earlier as she made that soft, low sound almost continuously under her breath as I made love to her. It changed in pitch and tone like an opera singer, but the volume barely went up. Gasping in surprise as I teased a hand deep between her legs, Kerry stared up at me with those fathomless eyes and clung to my shoulders like a drowning woman. The connection between us scared the bloody hell out of me, just as much as it thrilled me to have found her. I could almost hear the lioness growl of her soul sing to me. My musing was set aside as I watched the beauty of her climax race along her nerves and escape her in jerking whimpers, breathed out whisper-soft into the dim room. My name sounded exquisite coming from her as she relaxed back into the bed. Soft kisses, strong arms draped around my neck, my hair tickling us both. What a great way to spend a night. “You need to sleep,” I breathed against Kerry’s lips. She made a faintly disgruntled noise like a child, but her eyelids were already drooping. “I’ll be here in the morning. I promise.”

 

And Kerry slept.

 

Holding her, I wondered if I’d gotten in over my head. From my time in County’s ER, I knew she was closeted at work, as well as shut off from her co-workers. No doubt to preserve the dignity of her position. Could I pretend nothing was happening between us? I knew how tactile and friendly I was and that kind of restraint wasn’t part of my nature. But hell, if Art could keep the military off her back for being gay, the least I could do was respect my new girlfriend’s privacy. It was a hopeful and confirming thought and I allowed darkness to close around me as I held my lover close.

 

The local hip-hop station jerked us both from slumber hours later. “What is that racket,” Kerry murmured sleepily and I half-crawled over her to smack the alarm silent. Only, there was still a racket coming from outside and I grinned. Sure enough, one unfocused green eye peered at me, confused and growing irritated. “Either your radio is busted, or…”

 

“That’s the parrot, sorry,” I finished for her and it seemed only natural to drape my much-larger body over hers and tease away her yawn with warm kisses. “Good morning gorgeous,” I purred and earned a drowsy smile. “Shall I introduce you to my shower?”

 

My pulling away was interrupted by Kerry yanking me into a good morning kiss that curled my toes and reawakened my unsettling need for her. There was no denying that she was more than a lover, more than an attraction, more than someone I found intriguing. There was something between us that had left us both altered forever. Kerry’s sleepy smile had matured into a full-blown smirk by the time I was let up for air. As for me, it felt like a Succubus had done me in. “Good morning. Thank you for last night. And today.”

 

“Umm… anytime. Wow.”

 

Oh, I knew I was stammering like an idiot, but all of the blood in my brain had migrated south and her teasing hand on my hip wasn’t helping any. “In a minute,” Kerry purred softly and tossed me onto my back before proving exactly what kind of lover she could be when she woke up well-rested and frisky. I never knew what hit me as she steam rollered me beneath the weight of my heat and arousal. How long she kept me begging, flying, twisting the sheets and her fiery locks… I had no clue. _Theh-mou_ ( _My God_ ), no one had ever made me scream like that! Kerry climbed up my sated body and rose above me with a look so smug it would have been irritating under different circumstances.

 

“Sleep well?” She teased and, honest to God, batted her eyelashes at me. It was so adorable, that I burst out laughing and her smug look deepened.

 

“Yes, thank you,” I replied as deadpan as I could manage in that moment and tried to gather my strength. A few teasing kisses had me paying attention, especially when Kerry abruptly pulled away and grinned.

 

“Shower?”

 

“What?” Oh yeah, I had offered. And this could very well be continued in there… “Oh, right. C’mon then.”

 

++ Kerry ++

 

Lordy, but she was cute. Utterly unselfconscious in her nudity, Zo bounced from the room and stuck her head back in to toss me the crutch. Despite that fact that I wasn’t quite as comfortable as she was, I refrained from hiding in my own clothes and followed the sound of her humming cheerfully. Outside the bungalow-like room that housed her bed, glorious early-morning sunlight streamed into the larger space of the apartment. “Wow,” I breathed in awe. 

 

“Isn’t it awesome?” Zo chortled as she cuddled up to me from behind. There was a coffee cup in the hand that snaked around my middle. I snatched it away as she chuckled and kept talking. “A thousand odd square feet of glass to let in the sun. I love this place.” A rough kiss on the neck and my frisky young lover was moving down the hallway again. She seemed to move to some inner music that put a bounce in her step and a grin on her face. It was a big, luxurious bathroom with a whirlpool tub and fluffy carpet. Instead of the big tub, Zo was fiddling around in the glass-walled shower. “No time for a bath, babe. I’ll make it up to you later. Now c’mere.”

 

That smoky voice had dropped to a suggestive thrum on those last words. My rising hormones strangled my disappointment at missing out on a bath and I quickly joined Zo in the big shower. 

 

Of course, the shower turned into a get-to-know-you-better marathon that had me running seriously late to work. Irritated and amused, I stared out at the passing traffic and half-heartedly listened to Zo talk on her cell phone. “No problem Drake, I’ll be in by in ten. No, I just need to drop somebody off first and go back and get the bike. Ha, ha, very funny. I’ll see you then.” I looked over to see Zo shake her head and scowl good-naturedly. “He’s a pain, but I like working for him.”

 

“Sounds better than mine. He’s a pain and I don’t like working for him.”

 

“Ah, yes. The infamous ‘Rocket’. Lucky you.”

 

“Robert’s reputation has spread to your circles?”

 

“No, I’m friends with Xavier and your nurses, remember?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Are you okay with this?”

 

It was an expected and surprising question. Was I okay with this? I’d screwed up so badly with Kim, fear and self-preservation ruining the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. And now, there was this delightful young woman, earnest and sensual. I really needed to get my act together. “Just be patient with me,” I said in a shaky tone I hardly recognized as my own. A quick squeeze of my fingers and Zo’s hand returned to the stick shift.

 

“As long as you dance back,” was her enigmatic reply.

 

There had been no time to ask what she meant. A long, loving smile at the admission doors and a quick, ‘see you soon,’ and Doctor Weaver was off and thundering.


	4. Poker? I Don’t Even Know Her!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Weaver handle being personal with her staff? Will Zo give her a choice?

++ Kerry ++

 

(7-26-01)

 

Traditions could be a beautiful thing. They could also be a pain in the ass. Turns out the rumors of a weekly poker night at Zo’s were true. No wonder Thursday nights had become such a valuable commodity at County. And I was losing one night a week with my wildcat. Oh, it wasn’t Zo’s fault, her gregarious nature was as integral to her as breathing, and it was my own insecurities that were scaring me so badly. My being here was a concession to the relationship that was still building slowly, but surely. The sex was explosive, no doubt there, but I found myself irresistibly drawn to this woman of high emotions and wild creativity. We couldn’t have been more opposite in personality if I had actively been looking for just that. Those differences were mutually fascinating.

 

“Ker?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Did you want this white wine out now?”

 

“Sure hon.”

 

I’d offered to cook to try and distract me from the butterflies dancing madly in my stomach. I wasn’t out at work, I never showed anything personal there. Even when John was living in my basement, I kept a careful distance. Now a handful of my nurses, maybe even Residents, were coming to my girlfriend’s apartment and I was here. Talk about making a leap! Zo had spent nearly a week convincing me that it was going to be okay. She was in with the nurses, who adored her, and everyone knew that the nurses in a hospital were the ones that knew everything that was going on. Xavier was going to find this utterly hysterical…

 

Could I survive this with my sanity or my dignity intact?

 

Zo was adamant that the nurses had already figured us out. More than one not-so-subtle hint had left her with hands up, protesting that she couldn’t say one way or the other. Despite her reassurances that it was more funny than annoying, I knew that Zo was becoming close friends with some of them and didn’t like not being honest. The same damn situation I had been in with Kim those few short months ago. Was I strong enough to do it right this time?

 

A searing flash of pain yanked me out of my musings and I stared at the crimson blood suddenly trickling slowly from my left index finger. “Oh damn. Of all the stupid…” Blaring music drowned out my cursing and I was perversely glad for the reprieve of Zo witnessing my idiocy. Some doctor I was. It stung, but feeling in the sensitive pad was normal, so I surmised that I hadn’t done any lasting damage. Hopefully there were butterfly sutures in the medicine cabinet and some gauze. No such luck. Just various riff-raff and some safe sex products that looked like they needed replacing. Maybe I could bring some by as a thank you to Bruce. 

 

A grab from behind nearly made me throw an MI, but the growling bite on the neck made me giggle. “Hey sexy… you hurt yourself.” It came out playful, only to turn quietly serious. “You okay?”

 

It amazed me how practical she was sometimes. Twisting until I could catch her eye, I smiled weakly. “The nerves seem fine. Do you have something I can clean this up with?”

 

“Sure. Not in here, though. I haven’t messed with anything of Bruce’s.”

 

“So I see.”

 

A few minutes later, my cut was cleaned and dressed. Zo had quietly and competently played nurse, obeying me word for word. When I teased her about it, she just smiled faintly. Once I had dressed the messy but harmless cut, we headed back to the kitchen. A sudden thought occurred to me as I glanced over the covered easels. She glanced back at me curiously when I grabbed her arm. Automatically turning her body to mine, Zo’s attention was focused. I was insufferably pleased with my effect on my normally scattered lover. Brushing my thumb over her lower lip, I just studied her for long moments until her gaze turned curious. “Why are none of your paintings up?”

 

That one caught her off guard. “Umm… I haven’t been feeling very creative until a few weeks ago.”

 

“Oh?” A quick and aggressive kiss only distracted me for its duration. “What are you painting?”

 

“You’ll see it when I’m done with it.”

 

“But…”

 

“No buts. You’ll be the first to see them, I promise. Now, can I kiss it and make it better?”

 

In a blatant attempt to distract me from both my pain as well as my curiosity, a quick kiss was only the beginning. It was a chaste peck on my damaged finger before she kissed her way over to the middle finger and drew the digit into the warm cavern of her mouth. Oh god… 

 

It was a good thing I was sitting down or I probably would have collapsed as my body went hot and liquid. Between the gentle suction and her tongue and piercing tracing the shape of my finger, I thought I would combust. By the time she worked her way across my hand, ending with that same tongue and suction on my palm, I was ready to climax from that stimulation alone. At that moment the doorbell chimed out over the music. “Oh no, please…” I moaned pathetically and Zo chuckled. In one swift move, I was flat on my back being kissed like we would be separated forever in a matter of moments. One of those sensitive artist’s hands was down my fly and coaxing me to climax before I could do more than squeak in response. It was like being hit by a freight train, swept away by a hurricane, smashed flat by a falling building. Crying out, the shocks rumbling through me like earthquake tremors, I stared into her smug eyes in utter astonishment. “Oh Zo… you’re too good to me…”

 

“You’re welcome. I’ll get the door.”

 

And she was pulling away from me to bounce across the room. Only to pause in the doorway to flash me an incendiary look that made my BP pick up again. Especially when she raised her damp fingers to that wicked mouth and suckled them clean. Heat roared through me again and she scampered away with a loving cackle. This was going to be a long night…

 

++ Zo ++

 

Oh, that had been the best kind of wicked fun, and the look on her face! I felt guilty now for not allowing Kerry to watch me paint. It felt like a violation of trust, not allowing her that intimacy. Drying my fingers on the edge of my t-shirt, I flew across the apartment and threw open the door. “Hi guys! Sorry to keep you waiting, come on in.”

 

“So who’s coming tonight?” Randi inquired with a mercenary gleam. Jail had taught the woman to be a very dangerous poker player. Being a military brat for a good chunk of my formative years also gave me an edge. Abby’s past with addiction, coping and a strong backbone brought her into the inner circle. The others were various levels of play that we tried not to be too rough on. I wondered what kind of player Kerry would be. The big, stupid grin on my face must have spoken volumes to my pals…

 

“I picked up a new brand of beer last night and some great cider the grocer recommended, Abby.”

 

“Thanks,” the short nurse smiled and studied the label of the cider Randi thrust into her hands. They quickly sniffed at whatever Kerry had been cooking and looked like they were thinking about drooling into it. In ten minutes flat we had the table set up to play on and munchies ready to go before sprawling out in the ‘company nook’ as Bruce called it. A collection of two overstuffed couches and a mountain of great pillows near the fountain, it was perfect for socializing. Randi and Abby were telling me about their respective days and sneaking peeks at the sheet-covered easels in the center of the room.

 

“All and all it’s been pretty quiet lately.”

 

“Don’t say that! You’ll break the trend.”

 

“Superstitious, Randi?” The new voice in the conversation made us all glance over to see Kerry approaching with her awkward stride. There was an odd look on her face and a teasing tone in her voice. Was that frustration and determination I saw glinting her in shadowed gaze? A thrill ran through me. A thrill that turned to utter shock as she paced up to the couch I was sprawled on and plopped her small weight into my lap. Cuddling up under my chin, Kerry said, quite clearly, “thank you for helping with my finger,” and kissed my nose. It astonished and delighted me, this sudden public show of affection, even as she trembled lightly with stress and hid her face in my throat.

 

“You’re welcome, hon. I just played nurse, no offense Abby.”

 

Startled by the actual reality of the relationship presented to them, both Abby and Randi ceased gawking as I gave them a fierce glare. ‘Scare her off, and I kill you,’ said my expression.

 

“None taken,” Abby deadpanned dryly and we chuckled. That broke the tension and Randi jumped in with a mother hen tone.

 

“Doctor K, what did you do?”

 

Clinging all the harder to me, Kerry gingerly raised her damaged finger and they fussed without getting physically near her. Good thing too, she was tense enough to explode. Then the doorbell rang again and Randi scrambled to get it, leaving me a moment to reassure my lover. The fine red hair was silky as I burrowed in to nuzzle her ear. “I’m proud of you,” I murmured, feather soft. Kerry’s breath caught, almost a sob, and I stroked her back and head lovingly. “Should I send them home? I will you know. You’re more important to me than this get together.”

 

“No. I need this. We need this, Zo. I ruined one relationship with cowardice. I won’t do it again.”

 

++ John Carter ++

 

It had sounded like fun. Hang out with the nurses and play poker for the evening. I hadn’t really played the game since college and wanted some R&R. So Lydia and I chatted amenably as we shared a cab to an old industrial section near Jackson Park that was showing signs of rebirth. Inside this great old building were vast loft apartments that truly impressed me. But all of it was forgotten as I witnessed Kerry Weaver curled up in Zo’s lap. Wow. Never thought the old girl would have it in her for such a personal admission to her staff. Oh, we all knew why Zo kept hanging around, and it wasn’t Randi and Abby! There was some great chemistry between the spunky young bike messenger and our irascible chief. The reality of it was still a bit of a shock though. When I had stared a little longer than Randi deemed appropriate, I was elbowed in the ribs. The movement was caught by Zo, who grinned and her expression was so infectious that we wandered over to join them. 

 

“You ready to get the pants beat off you again, Lydia?” Zo chuckled and the older woman gave her a dangerously sweet smile.

 

“Bring it on kiddo.”

 

“Pleased to see you joining us, Doctor Carter.”

 

“Oh, call me John, please. I couldn’t pass up the chance.”

 

“Something to drink?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Beer, wine, cider?”

 

“I got it,” Randi chimed in. “Hey Lydia, you wanna help me with this food?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Abby scrambled after the older nurse and I stepped away to give the fretting Kerry some space. She was clinging to Zo like a drowning woman, sideways on the young woman’s lap. Her face was lost in the inky curls, and the crutch leaning against the couch between Zo’s knees. It was strange to see Kerry like this, vulnerable and shaken, but living in her basement had allowed me to see facets most had not. I watched one dusky hand stroke soothingly over the familiar red hair and gradually Kerry began to calm.

 

A cold bottle against my arm made me jump. Randi just grinned evilly and handed me the beer. “I’ll take that,” she gestured at the couple. “As a yes.”

 

I just rolled my eyes. Good for Kerry, I hoped Zo could make her happy. While I drank, I kept half an eye on them without disturbing their interaction. Eventually, Kerry leaned back and gave Zo a quick kiss before climbing to her feet and putting the crutch in place. That routine I knew, had watched the movements many times after surgeries. Only then did my boss and once-landlord look at me. The nervous smile earned a warm one from me in return.

 

After that, the evening was warm and relaxed. Banter zinged around the table as chips changed hands.

 

“Being a doctor is overrated,” Abby tossed out casually and grinned at Kerry and I. “No offense.”

 

“Raise ya twenty,” Zo dared and tossed out her pennies as Abby’s expression morphed into a scowl. They’d been dueling for ten minutes while carrying on the unrelated conversation that had spanned the entire evening. It had covered everything from President Bartlett’s recent admission of illness to the media to the odd mating habits of eagles. And those were just the high points. The rest of us merely watched and/or participated with varying levels of amusement. 

 

“There’s nothing wrong with doctors,” Zo mused.

 

“Oh, what would you know about it,” Abby almost sniped and Zo gave a smile that riveted every eye in the place. There was something playful and mysterious about her. It was easy to see why she fascinated Kerry so much. And whatever she had to say, it was going to be zinger.

 

“Because I am one.”

 

The shocked silence was a palatable force, and no one looked more floored than Kerry. “You never mentioned that,” Randi said quietly and Zo shrugged.

 

“No one ever asked. And,” Zo’s pause came with a sudden, desperate glance at Kerry. “I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”

 

“Guess there’s a lot about you I don’t know,” Kerry whispered softly and I felt like I was intruding on a very private moment. Clearing my throat to break up the tension, the focus of the room gratefully resettled onto me.

 

“What did you study?”

 

“Psychology with enough anthropology and fine art to nearly qualify for master’s degrees. I just got it two months ago. I guess I’ve been working at it for so long that the reality of reaching that goal hasn’t quite sunk in yet.”

 

“I remember that feeling,” I reminisced fondly. “I never even made it to graduation. The patients needed me more than I needed a ceremony.”

 

“I know how you feel. I bailed out of California the weekend after the committee approved my dissertation. I was desperate to get out and X asked me to come out here and hang for awhile.” A soft glance in Kerry’s direction earned a pleased blush. “I’m glad I did.” We all kind of chuckled at that while Zo flushed lightly and studied her cards and Kerry got redder. After a moment’s contemplation, Zo sighed melodramatically and tossed her cards down. “You win, I fold. All of the sudden this game doesn’t seem quite so interesting anymore.”

 

Abby’s grin was vaguely triumphant as she scooped up all the loose change piled on the table.

 

++ Kerry ++

 

Good lord but it had been a long night. There were dishes in the sink and a mess on the poker table. Usually I was compulsive about cleaning up, but tonight I was just too wiped out. John and Randi’s hugs of farewell had totally caught me off guard. The rush of affection and warmth in my heart surprised me even more. So many years I had spent keeping everyone at arm’s length, and yet… they were still willing to care about me. There was no sense behind it.

 

I liked it anyway.

 

Strong arms suddenly startled me from my thoughts, squeezing tight. “You survived,” Zo hummed lovingly and kissed my ear. “Feeling okay?”

 

“Mostly. I just never expected them to, well… like me. Much less be matter of fact about us.”

 

“Funny thing about acting like it’s no big deal,” Zo soothed and turned me in her embrace to be hugged properly. “People start believing it. As for the other stuff, I think John and Randi have been looking for an excuse to like you all this time. Come to bed, lover. This mess can wait until morning.”

 

“Hmm,” was my careless reply. From day one, Zo’s ability to read me was dead accurate. It was terrifying and grounding to have someone that intimate. With that enigmatic smile I knew so well, Zo swept me into her arms and took us to bed.

 

Consciousness came to me slowly and I rolled over with a soft moan. Only to find the bed empty. “Zo?” I questioned softly. There was no answer, but light glowed in the door, left open a crack. A glance at the clock made me wince. It was almost three am. The floor fan hummed quietly as I crept from the bed and grabbed the crutch. There was no explanation to the sudden need to find her, except that I had a feeling… and a sudden need to see.

 

To see her paint.

 

In our time together, the easels had always been covered. Silent. When I had questioned Zo about her art, she had shrugged and explained calmly, “the muses come and go. Just be patient when they do visit. I get a little obsessed.”

 

I think I knew what she meant. There were times that I would get so caught up in my work that everything else ceased to matter. Was that what it was like for her too? As I slunk down the hallway, I found myself holding my breath in anticipation. 

 

Zo did not disappoint.

 

In the time I had known my young lover, I sensed that I was only seeing part of her. There was an almost dangerous intensity just beneath the surface, like the protruding tip of a vast iceberg. There was so much she held inside, shrugged off or explained matter-of-factly when I asked questions. Being a normally private person myself, I had never pried very hard.

 

But I had never expected this.

 

Like a barely restrained hurricane, like she was going to split right out of her skin, eyes blazing like a firestorm, she was captivating. Stark naked and damp with sweat, she glowered at the flat surface as though willing something from it. A long brush was clenched in one hand, a colorful palette in the other. They were brandished like sword and shield to make the painting submit. Her profile was set into stark lines of stress and concentration. Part of me wanted to go to her, soothe her, as she had done for me so often. But I stayed where I was, knowing that there was nothing I could do until she called for me.

 

Feinting in like a fencer, Zo lay down a streak of color before retreating to study her opponent again. It was a beautiful dance, fluid and intense. Then suddenly, she relaxed and calmness settled. She stepped up to the canvas and began to paint in earnest. It was poetry to watch her hands sweep about and I couldn’t even see the painting yet.

 

But one of the three was facing me and I finally found myself studying it. Beneath the glaring spotlights were wild slashes of color across the great, white surface. Dark and light, they began to tell me a tale.

 

Vague at first. Fractured. Like someone stammering out an explanation. Violent reds, streams of calming blue and green, purples of grief, yellows of hope, oranges of pain. I knew what this was and could not contain a gasp of astonishment.

 

It was the ER.

 

There in stylized pattern and hue, was the daily war my troops fought against pain and death. Zo’s eyes were suddenly on me like a physical touch, burning in their intensity. I felt like an intruder into something intensely private. The moment stretched out into an eternity before she reached up to tug loose the wireless headphones I hadn’t noticed among her curls.

 

“Come here, Kerry,” she whispered in a tone both exhausted and commanding. I couldn’t have resisted if the thought had even occurred to me. The piece she had been working on froze me in my tracks.

 

It was me.

 

Wasn’t it?

 

But it was more than a little scary to see the intimate portrayal.

 

There was a figure sleeping softly on a surface of golden light. Serene and angelic, she was alluring and vulnerable beneath the gauzy sheet that teased to the unseen. Then my eye was drawn to the figure standing behind the sleeping angel. Half lost to clinging shadows, she was angular and dark. There was a cold ferociousness to her, like a skulking predator. The dim white of her clothing was misleading, for it was merely armor to resist the pull of the sleeping angel.

 

Shocked and shaken by the tableau, I looked up into Zo’s burning gaze.

 

“Is that… me?”

 

“A study in contrasts,” she replied sagely, her voice rough with emotions. Accurate and disturbing in its portrayal, the painting drew my eye back to study the two faces of me. Now I could see that the two figures bled mistily together like dual dream images. “It’s not done,” Zo explained distantly and shifted the paintbrush to her other hand in order to rake fingers through her curls. “But you can see what I’m getting at. The first time I looked into your eyes, I knew that you would inspire something magnificent. And so you did.”

 

And it was indeed magnificent. It was also disturbing and inspirational, which was its power. Forcing myself to turning away from the intoxicating tableau, I again met her eyes. Now broken from her creative trance, Zo looked tired and drawn. So I reached out to her in the only way I knew how in that moment.

 

Those coveted curls were thick and soft in my hands as I drew her to me. Breathing out my adoration and awe, I kissed her softly. A healing kiss, a call home. There was a long, breathless pause before she melted into my small strength with a rough breath out, like she had been holding something in for a very long time.

 

“Come to bed, love,” I coaxed ever so gently and with a limp nod, Zo mechanically put away the tools of her trade. Both of us gave the paintings a long, last look before walking away without a backwards glance. In the bedroom, she collapsed onto the sheets to stare blankly at the low ceiling. That was a damn good signal that I needed to do something. The little bottle of gold oil on the bed stand was my answer.

 

When my small weight settled across Zo’s hipbones, her attention focused enough to acknowledge me. There was even a sparkle of interest when the oil fell in a stream from the bottle to my cupped hand. Tight belly muscles jumped at my touch and I soothed them tenderly. In moments, I was lost in the diamond of flesh between ribs and hips. Only when Zo moaned in growing relaxation did I move on to the corrugated pattern of ribs, relishing the strong, slow breaths. It was so rare that I could touch a healthy body, one that didn’t flinch away from my probing touch. It was healing for us both.

 

I worked higher, lost in my task. Pressing into the sides of her breasts, I kneaded the hidden pectorals and Zo moaned. Relief, pain or pleasure, I couldn’t tell. My hands swept over collarbones, shoulders and throat. Watching my hands, I was reminded of Zo at the canvas, her hands creating those magnificent paintings. There was moisture clinging to her inky lashes and it earned a soft smile. Gently trailing the tip of my tongue over the stiff little hairs, drawing the salty moisture into myself, I knew that I had earned these symbols of emotion and it moved me deeply. Without speaking, I levered myself up onto my good leg and tugged at her to roll over. Boneless, Zo complied. Now I lingered even more over her long back and pressed ever-so-gently at the deep hollow of her spine. Past her narrow waist was the best part, for Zo’s lower body was strong and fit from bicycling constantly. I shifted down to knead the powerful glutes, thighs and calves. The moaning was constant now, in accompaniment to my ministrations and I relished every note. Eventually, I was happily perched at her feet and caressed heel, arch and toes. 

 

My own tiredness broke through the sensual haze of our night and I yawned expansively. There was time enough before my shift to sleep again. Capping off the oil and clicking off the bedside lamp, I snuggled into Zo and kissed her shoulder. “They’re magnificent,” I whispered thickly into her hair and she twitched lightly in her sleep. “Like you.”

 

++ Zo ++

 

Like a pull at my very soul, the wet pressure drew me from sleep. “ _Gahmatoh,_ ( _fuck_ )” rumbled up from deep within as my body stretched and flexed. Nerves from knees to neck hummed as Kerry ceased her ministrations to kiss her way up my torso. That wicked mouth pulled at belly, breast, throat and chin, the sensations sparking through me like wildfire. Butterfly kisses at the corner of my mouth and the brush of her baby-fine hair on my face signaled the end of her journey. There was no reason to restrain my wilder impulses and I nipped possessively at her lower lip.

 

“If you leave me like this,” I said dryly. “I will have to kill you.”

 

Kerry’s delighted laughter at last made me open my eyes to take her in. It was so good to see her happy and the last of my stress bled away. In one quick motion, I had pinned her to the bed, noses touching.

 

“Thank you Kerry,” I whispered with all the feelings in my heart. Oh, I’d liked Kerry from day one, but I could fall head-over-heels for the gentle woman from the night before.

 

“For what?” Was the soft reply.

 

“For understanding what that takes out of me. For your strength and your gentleness and your jarring contradictions. Just… thank you.”

 

Ah, that admission had brought tears to her eyes, good sign, and the blending of our lips felt more like souls touching. Our lovemaking shifted from intense to playful and Kerry was left scrambling for the shower in order to make it to the hospital by eight. Chuckling, I sprawled out among the tangled bedding and enjoyed the pleasant lethargy left by our romping. I had the day off and was planning on spending it with my projects. Over the years I had learned that painting in darkness always wrung me out emotionally. It was also my best work by far. There was something primal and compelling about the night and that came across on the canvass. The finishing details could be done in daylight, but the heart of my paintings was darkness.

 

The third canvass was essentially a duplicate of the ER piece. There was a woman doctor in New York who loved my work and this one was going to knock her flat. It was a big piece, five by three, while the original was the biggest thing I’d ever done. The seven by five size had allowed me a freedom of detail that would let Kerry’s staff recognize themselves in the stylized figures. I hoped it wouldn’t upset anybody, the hazy images of those who had died or left the hospital behind. After listening to the nurses talk so much about Doug Ross, Carol Hathaway, Mark Greene, Lucy Knight, Elizabeth Corday… I felt like I almost knew them. So they too held a place in my tribute to Cook County General Hospital. Turning away from the ghosts, I went to the dual Kerry. It was my comfy old size of three by two, enough to get in plenty of detail without overwhelming the viewer in a smaller space. I liked naming my work, it was one of the perks of being an artist, and this one had come to me with observation and a tidbit of information about my lover.

 

Gemini.


	5. Painting Kerry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor meets the Painter and the results are explosive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important acknowledgments: In the winter of 2003, the delightful Mosca set out a challenge for the fanfic community. A snippet of poetry was supplied to act as bait for the muses. I had a particularly lovely refrain, ‘A stone couched memento of each time your breath found the hollow of my throat.’ Now, this challenge took an unexpected turn with me, by reawakening my chorus of internal voices. Bless you Mosca, I feared that the need to write would never return.

++ Zo ++

(8-15-01)

 

The pieces just fell into place.

 

Click, click, click.

 

Four days off, oh joy! And close enough to Kerry’s birthday that a nice dinner out would be enough on the actual day.

 

Mrrowrr! I planned on spoiling my workaholic girl rotten. If I had anything to say about it, she would be grinning like an idiot for months after this little vacation. That’s why I was currently browsing a local adult shop that Xavier had helpfully recommended when we had talked yesterday. Then I noticed something and all thoughts of a simple seduction fled. Oh, this was going to be so much better than what I had originally planned. _Theh mou_ , but I was going to rock Kerry’s world. The punky guy at the counter recognized my expression and grinned wolfishly. “Those are new. The boss man spotted them in Japan and decided to take a chance.” He went on to explain they wouldn’t stain skin, all natural materials, would dry to a mild tacky consistency, blah, blah, blah…

 

“How do they taste?” 

 

My question brought him up short. A duck of his lanky body and a hidden jar was suddenly in his hands. With a quick twist, it was open, a toothpick dropped in and the whole thing held out to me. “Try it.”

 

It smelled of exotic oriental fruits and the woodsy aroma of green tea. The taste was mellow, creamy and just sweet enough to tease the palate. “It’s perfect,” I purred and the salespunk almost leered. “I’ll take the whole set.” At ten bucks a jar, it wasn’t a cheap purchase, but the fantasy had me now. I’d reconcile the money later. It took some effort to get my mind back on track and finish my original errands. Silky lingerie in a vibrant dark blue that I knew would look fabulous with my coloring and a similar set in green for my sexy woman. There was a fancy new set of jewelry for my naughty piercing, and on a whim, I bought a pretty little clit cuff with tiny beads of cut green glass that would set off Kerry’s pale-rose complexion. A decadent little ornamentation that only I would see.

 

Outside in the punishing sun, I slipped on my shades and collected my bike. _Greegora Gahtah mou_ , my Fast Cat, was one of my most prized possessions. She was a 24-speed cheetah on wheels and a delight to ride, well worth the money to buy, maintain, and insure her. Halfway home, I realized something important and stopped right there next to traffic. Half my surprise was missing. “Dammit,” I muttered when I remembered that the Art Warehouse was back the way I’d just come. But Frank’s Nursery and Crafts was nearby. That would have to do. 

 

More pieces fell into place at the store as there was a beginner’s set of horsehair brushes on clearance for obscenely cheap. Normally, I would have sneered at such a clumsy set, but for what I was planning to do to Kerry, they were perfect. A few packets of fresh herbs for dinner and I was off to my last stop. There was a great little corner store that carried everything from fresh beef to ceiling fixtures not far from my place. There, I purchased the foodstuffs for dinner, heavy black cotton sheets and a bundle of fresh flowers that was going to seriously challenge my bike riding skills. Dodging traffic across a few streets, I was home just after five. Excellent, I had two hours to get ready for _Mahtia mou_. Probably a bit more, knowing how that damn hospital frequently held her up.

 

Since Bruce was still gone, I commandeered his enormous bathroom and primped accordingly. Nearly an hour was whiled away while I bathed and scented and trimmed. The scent of jasmine clung sweetly to my skin and the thin oil I used to make the waves of curls kink and shine. Then the ring with its dangling adornments had me hot and bothered by the time it was looped through its hole near the little glands. Time was running short as I pulled on the bra, panties, camisole and black skirt before scampering for the kitchen. The new brushes were washed and set in a flower vase to be dragged into the bedroom with candles, a hot plate and my tasty surprise. In the kitchen, I did my damnest to produce a meal that even Ya-ya would be proud of. I was so involved in what I was doing that familiar arms twining about my waist nearly scared me to death.

 

++ Kerry ++

 

There was some heavy, seductive beat thrumming through the apartment at a volume that warned me Zo was in a creative mood. Nothing at the easels though, so where was she? Then something savory collected in my nostrils and drew me helplessly to the kitchen. Oh my…

 

It was Zo’s rebellious, devil-may-care personality that continued to fascinate me endlessly. But this was a mouth-watering change. The wild hair had been coiled up at the back of her head, leaving coy curlies around her face. Sexy but extremely classy clothes draped lovingly over the body normally in jeans and spandex made me linger over the spectacle. There were flowers on the table with good china I’d never seen before. Delight and adoration led me over to wrap both arms around my concentrating lover. The spoon clattered to the stove as she yelped, “ _Skata,_ Kerry! _Esee ekpleeksee meh_! ( _Shit,_ Kerry! _You scared me_!)” Not understanding anything but the obvious expletive and my name, I squeezed her until I earned a breathless squeak.

 

“You look fantastic, sweetie. Is this all for me?”

 

Batting my eyelashes at her earned the loving smile I adored. There was even subtle makeup highlighting her strong features and bringing out her gorgeous mocha coloring. 

 

“Everything smells so good.”

 

“Good, because I’ve never gone so flat out before. It’s a bunch of Greek dishes that _Yaya_ taught us kids to make.”

 

My brain struggled for a moment before remembering that _Yaya_ was her grandmother. “Can I help?”

 

“Sure. There’s a bottle of wine over there and a salad marinating in the fridge that’ll need a bed of lettuce.”

 

“Got it.”

 

A lingering kiss deepened my sexy girl’s smile and I set to work with a full heart. After awhile, Zo grabbed me and attacked my neck until I squeaked with delight. “Will you do something for me?”

 

“Uhhn… yes… anything.”

 

“There’s a gift for you upstairs. Go open it and I’ll see you in a little while.”

 

That mischievous tone had my interest piqued. One more kiss and a little groping had both of us breathless before Zo shooed me off. There was a new cover on the bed, its pattern reminiscent of the constellations in the night sky. Resting on it was a fancy basket of girlie indulgence. Fragrant soaps and shampoos and bath salts made me smile. When I picked up the basket there was a box wrapped in crimson paper underneath it.

 

“ _To meli_? ( _Honey_?)”

 

“ _Ne_? ( _Yes_ )?”

 

“I know this is a weird request, but don’t do lotions or perfume or anything, ‘kay? Just your naked skin. It’ll make sense later.”

 

“Umm, okay.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

It was an odd request, but I shrugged it off. Like a kid on Christmas, I tore the box open and was delighted by the contents, lingerie and a silk shirt of vibrant emerald green. There was also a black skirt and a pair of delicate, heeled shoes at the bottom. The card inside smelled of vanilla and the great outdoors. It read ‘a gift for both of us.’

 

Indeed!

 

A luxurious shower later, I donned Zo’s gifts, anxious now for food and company. The dining room was magnificent. Crystal, china, fresh flowers and cut greens were illuminated by a dozen candles around the room. A moment later Zo stepped in with two bowls in hand. “You look lovely, Ker. Hungry?”

 

Dinner was wonderful, an interesting and exotic banquet of tastes and smells. Through it all, my Zo was charming and chatty. The strong red wine hummed warmly in my veins and I was very content with the evening. But if Zo didn’t act out the smoldering promise in her gorgeous eyes, I was going to scream. It was a little scary sometimes, the way she could play me.

 

And didn’t she just know it.

 

A shattering kiss while she collected the dishes was an effective, if all too brief distraction. So I helplessly followed her into the kitchen. It was a quick clean up consisting of setting the dishes in water before she turned to me. That look had my knees shaking so hard that I had to lean on the crutch in earnest.

 

“You,” she growled so low I expected my bones to rattle. “Are exquisite. Come here.”

 

It took a real effort to get my body to move to where she leaned against the sink. Sensitive artist’s hands wove into the fine hair at my nape, cradling my neck and skull and making me feel very safe. Eyes closed, I waited passively for her to lead me where she wanted. There was the velvet brush of her soft mouth, fingers massaging my neck, breath warm on my skin. I was in heaven. The butterfly kisses teased my nerves and drew me to her. “So beautiful,” Zo murmured tenderly. “ _Mahtia mou_ , let me show you how I adore you and how grateful I am that you’re in my life.”

 

Whimpering, I arched into her strength and begged incoherently for her touch. Gentle caresses of mouth and tongue built my arousal up like a weather system. Soft rain that swelled into a hurricane in my small body. Teeth at my vulnerable flesh, hot and wet and needy for her touch, I was well and truly caught. Those coveted hands were gentle and demanding, flinging me from the precipice of my own desire. When I was at last able to draw a deep, shuddering breath, Zo smiled with a heart-stopping combination of lust and tenderness.

 

“Come to bed. I have a surprise for you.”

 

Tired from my day and weak-kneed from her quickie in the kitchen, I stared blankly. “Walk? I’m not sure I can.”

 

With distinct smugness, Zo stooped to sweep me into her arms. It was always a thrill, even if we did get the crutch caught between us on occasion. There was little of her customary fierce playfulness tonight as she lay me on the comforter and divested my willing self of clothing. Random, teasing strokes reminded me of my surrender in her kitchen, my needs that she understood so well. Then I yawned and she chuckled. “Now that you’re happy and turned-on, I get dessert. Just lie still.”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

There was a feral gleam in her eye, a fierce predator I knew but couldn’t place. Rising to stretch like a panther, Zo drew off her skirt and shirt to allow me to admire her fine cocoa skin wrapped in blue silk and lace.

 

“Mmmm,” I hummed in delighted incoherency. White teeth flashed as she finished her mysterious preparations. There were small jars in a rainbow of colors set on a hot plate beside… a jar of paintbrushes.

 

My skin began to crawl in delighted anticipation. A soft scent like sweet milk and vanilla stirred into green tea wafted from the jars. Zo returned from the bathroom with a bowl of water and returned her attention to me.

 

Holy Mary, Mother of God, it was that look. The one I had seen leveled at those blessed and cursed canvases while she painted. That look of lightning made flesh, of an earthquake ready to form beneath her skin. I was thrilled to my core, breathing constricted in my throat, hot blood flushing my skin, a flood in my groin. I was happily terrified of the intensity.

 

Graceful fingers selected a brush and a jar of color while I could only stare. A maddening tease, the brush swirled through the color while those burning eyes swept over the flushed pink of my nudity. In slow motion, I watched the bristles emerge, wet and glistening.

 

“Don’t. Move,” Zo growled dangerously and I whimpered. Like a descending bird of prey, intent on the kill, the shock of yellow swooped down at my belly to leave a blaze of sunshine on my skin. The sensation was exquisite, soft yet firm, with a cool tingle left behind.

 

This was my punishment and reward for taking this wild creature into my body and heart. My maestro and maker recreated me into a beast with a pelt of a hundred colors: my screaming need given form. Every nerve ending in my body was utterly in thrall to the siren call of paintbrush and color.

 

There were sprawling patches of heavy blues and reds redefining belly and thighs, a comet tail of yellow shooting from navel to throat. While I descended into an eternal madness of physical torment, the strokes grew smaller… finer… more delicate.

 

It was too much! On the verge of hyperventilating, my cries became desperate and frightened. It was like stepping outside myself. So many mental and emotional boundaries had been crossed that I was free falling, exhilarated and terrified.

 

Hard and gentle, her fingertips were deep inside, a caressing pinch on one lonely nipple, wet suction on its twin.

 

A comet to earth, a firecracker to flame, nitroglycerine thumped too hard; I exploded into a billion flaming pieces. A vacuum, a landslide of sensation, my screaming ringing in my ears…

 

Feather-soft paws on my cheeks, warm tropical breeze across my nose, the smell of vanilla. “Kerry? _Mahtia mou_? Say something, please?”

 

The voice sounded worried. Wait a second… I knew that voice. Several upper brain functions suddenly kicked in with the sensuous ache in my boneless body. And my eyes opened with a moan that made every hair stand up to attention.

 

Worry shaded to relief in the aquamarine eyes and Zo fully cupped my cheek before kissing me softly. “You scared me,” she breathed and caressed the tiny, alert hairs into quiescence. “But look at my masterpiece.”

 

It was indeed that.

 

Patterns like fur and feathers spread across my skin from collarbones to ankles. Covering the familiar flesh of my body, the artwork transformed me into something outside, well, outside the ordinary. This was our true bond, Zo as my divine artist and me as her muse. I understood that finally. It was what we had seen in one another from first glance, and explained the bizarre series of coincidences that had brought us together. I was destined to find her, like fairy tale lovers overcoming all odds. Zo had told me once that I would do wonderful things for her creativity, and here was the undeniable truth. In that moment I knew that I would do anything for this wild creature who obviously needed me so. It was humbling and empowering and written in her glittering eyes.

 

I had no words for a revelation that rocked me to my core. No one had ever needed me like this before, and I suspected that no would ever need me like this again. And, wordless, I could only offer her my body, my heart, and my soul.

 

And pray for both our sakes, that it would be enough.

 

**Turnabout is Fair Play**

 

(8-30-01)

 

It had been two weeks since Zo had remade me with those amazing edible paints and I was still desperate to find a way to thank her in some fashion. We’d had a ton of fun together over the five weeks we’d been a couple and I felt like I’d known her all my life. Shopping, horsing around in the late summer sun, feeding breadcrumbs to the pigeons, movies, dancing and bars and clubs, we’d done it all. And I loved every minute of it. The best part was that I never tired of her facets, her endless twists and turns.

 

But what could I do? Antsy and frustrated, I snatched up a magazine laying alone in chairs and glowered at it. Only to be caught up short by the glossy add taking up the whole back cover. 

 

Perfect.

 

++ Zo ++

 

“So,” I stated casually and Kerry startled away from where she had been busily cooking at the stove. I had been watching her for some minutes, admiring the way she was so effortless with this particular skill. “Is there a reason my boss leered at me today and told me I was taking three weeks off?”

 

While Kerry had rearranged my kitchen to suit her bad leg only days after making me hers, she still needed to retrieve the crutch to come to me in the doorway. Looking guilty and flustered, but very pleased with herself, Kerry burrowed into my embrace and sighed lustily. “I’m taking you away somewhere to have you all to myself for a few weeks.” Sensing my surprise, she leaned back and set two fingers on my lips to stall anything I could say. “Please let me do this for you, love. For us. It’ll be fun.”

 

How on earth could I say no to that? “Where were you thinking about going?”

 

There was a long moment of quiet where Kerry stared off into space. The waves of bittersweet memories were like raw almonds on my tongue. “There was part of me,” she said slowly as though she were very far away indeed. “That wanted to go back to Africa.” I remembered that she had grown up there until well into adulthood. A change came over my Kerry then, sweet longing mixing with stark terror. 

 

“Ker, love, it’s okay.”

 

It was probably more my tone than the actual words, but it worked. Blinking back to herself, Kerry focused on my face and smiled wanly. “I don’t think I’m quite ready just yet."

 

Yeah, I had gathered that. “No problem. There are a ton of places closer than that. C’mere.” Shifting my grip, I swept Kerry into my arms and strode off to the bedroom for a cuddle session. In setting her on the bed, I double checked what I thought I had felt before. Her bad leg was as stiff as iron with some hidden stress. So I quickly began to strip her, ignoring her playful protests about the food. Her voice faded away as I pressed gentle caresses into the inflamed hip joint. There was nothing visually wrong with Kerry’s hip, the skin smooth and pink. The bones beneath were perhaps smaller than the opposite side, but nothing too odd. The right leg was less muscled and all of the joints were stiff and uncooperative.

 

“I contracted polio when I was seven,” Kerry broke the silence in the room. To my credit, I only paused for a moment in surprise before continuing my ministrations on her weak leg. “It damaged the nerves in my right leg. I don’t remember what it’s like to run.” I felt for her loss, and was proud of what she had made for herself despite it all. It also made a bit self-conscious of my healthy body. I should have figured nerve damage. My poor Kerry, not able to run. All I could do was lay so that her small body could curl up tightly to mine.

 

(9-3-01)

 

“So,” I crowed lustily at the knot of familiar ER staff clustered around the front desk. Unfortunately, it was Frank there today, and I chose to ignore him per usual. That foul-tempered and paranoid old police dog didn’t sit well across my perceptions. Fortunately, Abby was there and gave me the ‘this way’ signal with her eyes. I fell into step beside her and tried to ignore the crawly feeling of Frank’s eyes following me. “Is he always that creepy?”

 

Abby merely gave me a mildly amused look in response to my low murmur. Well away from the front desk, she gave me a strange look, equal parts amusement and discomfort. “You learn to ignore him. Though I swear, I have no idea why he’s here. Not to mention how.”

 

It was mouthier than Abby usually got, so I filed the information away, determined to keep a closer eye out on Frank. “Charming. I’ll keep that in mind. So, are you all going to be okay without the battleaxe for two and a half weeks?”

 

Ah, there was that classic wry look again. “Mel says she can handle it. I believe it. It’s all good.” The teasing lilt on the last sentence made me laugh. The strange unease that had come over me only yesterday faded to background noise and I bantered with my friend over bad hospital coffee while we waited for Kerry. It wasn’t long before I recognized not only her voice, but X’s as well.

 

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise,” I chuckled as the pair came into view and smiled. It was always a delight when the people I loved were happy to see me. 

 

“‘Lo,” X sing-songed and tucked his clipboard under one arm. “So, now that I’ve gotten the gist of the dish from Ker here, do you have anything to add?”

 

While Kerry smiled with bemused tolerance at the three of us and Abby stifled a chuckle, I made a great production with appearing to be heavy in thought. Then I grinned with wicked intent and gave Kerry an incendiary look. How I loved watching her color up like that! “Nearly three weeks traveling to exotic locales with my girl? I think I’m the luckiest punk alive. Shall we get this show on the road?” Both X and Abby chuckled for a moment before giving Kerry their full attention while she passed out a few last minute instructions. There was an undertone to her business-like voice that confirmed that I had gotten to her.

 

I was in for a wild time wandering the wilds of the Pacific Northwest. Tally ho!


	6. A Slice of Americana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend returns to Chicago to pick up where she left off.

++ Elizabeth Corday ++

 

(9-20-01)

 

It was wonderful to be around familiar faces again, to hear their American accents and immerse myself in the chaos of Cook County, even if I was only an observer. But it was bittersweet; reminding me of Mark’s abrupt death and these people I had left behind. The pain was a dull ache now, like a newly healed scar. When that internal change had begun a month or so ago, I had contacted Randi, who had been delighted to hear from me. It was her friendliness and the familiar gossip that had convinced my heart to return to Chicago. The chaos that had ensued when I walked in through the ambulance bay doors had warmed me to my core. Everyone had been wonderful, full of kind words, hugs and familiar humor. Some cosmic intervention had even spared me meeting up with either Robert or Kerry. So the nurses entertained me between patients and I was persuaded to come to this weekly poker game everyone was so pumped up about. It was at that evening get together that I met the infamous Zo. A whirlwind of black curls and white teeth, she was chaos in motion. Before I could speak, she had enthusiastically shaken my hand numb, thrust a beer in my hand and plopped me into a chair. Only once the others were settled in to play did I manage to get a word in edgewise.

 

“I haven’t played poker since college, but don’t think you all can take advantage. I can be quite ruthless.”

 

Amidst the chuckles, Zo grinned at me in surprised delight. “You’re the British surgeon that used to work at County, aren’t you? Now I realize why your name was so familiar when Randi did intros.”

 

“Yes. And you’re the amazing woman who tamed the irascible Kerry Weaver.”

 

I hadn’t meant to say it, but the looks around the table proved that, indeed, I had said the words out loud. For long, heavy seconds we stared at one another while a million thoughts ricocheted around my brain. They were fighting words and the friendly calm in Zo’s eyes flash-fired into something raw and dangerous. Any doubts I had of the nature of the relationship this pretty young thing had with Kerry were dashed to pieces by that hot glower. Gasping with horror at my immature lack of tact, I clamped both hands over my mouth for a moment before trying out my shock-frozen voice.

 

“Oh Zo, I’m so sorry, that was horrible of me.”

 

“Is she really that awful?”

 

The soft question was so unexpected that we all gaped at her. It was Abby that spoke first in that calm no-nonsense tone that only nurses seemed to be able to master. “It’s a matter of perspective. The woman can be a scalpel or a sledgehammer. But she always knows what she’s doing. It’s a little scary sometimes.”

 

“And reassuring,” Randi chimed in soberly. “If not annoying as hell.” Nods went around the table in agreement. Those aquamarine eyes held mine for an eternal moment, unreadable as the ocean, before her expression cleared. 

 

“Fair enough,” Zo tossed out brightly. “Who’s dealing?”

 

But those stormy eyes never really cleared up again that night…

 

As the evening deepened, I found myself relaxing, even if I was far too aware of Zo. She was great fun; empathetic, humorous, and enigmatic by turns. But I still couldn’t understand what she saw in Weaver. I understood the old cliché of opposites attracting, but this was ridiculous. They could hardly be more different!

 

Except for the internal intensity just under the surface. Like hotspots under the earth after a forest fire, it lurked beneath the face they showed to the outside world. Just beyond Zo’s casual cheerfulness and calm, Kerry’s aloof resolve and single-mindedness. It leant a depth to them that was both compelling and seductive. Their combined energies must be quite the storm. That thought brought a flush to my cheeks, visualizing Kerry’s familiar hands wandering over Zo’s bronze skin, the contrast between light and dark, red and black…

 

Startled by the nature of my thoughts, I roughly shook them off. Too many lonely hormones, I rationalized and pointedly ignored my deepening breath and the dull, needy ache between my legs…

 

We broke off soon thereafter, for which I was grateful. Zo’s knowing and curious gaze on me was unnerving. “Hey Elizabeth,” Randi’s voice wrenched my attention to her.

 

“Yes?”

 

“You still gonna crash on my couch? There’s no reason to pay for a hotel.”

 

“Or stay here,” Zo interjected calmly. “There’s an empty bedroom, quite luxurious. And the bathroom?” A low whistle of appreciation earned grins. “Real Turkish bath kinda setup. After all,” Zo feigned a queeny gay man attitude. “A girl has to have her priorities.”

 

We all laughed out loud, for she had regaled us with tales of her absent friend Bruce. “You’re certain?”

 

“Yep. I hate living alone,” Zo confirmed airily before grinning evilly. “Besides, Bruce will be ever so impressed by how many women have slept here. What, I’m up to three now? You’d be four.”

 

Randi was howling now. “Yeah, but me and Abby were alone on the couches!”

 

Zo shrugged at me, amusement dancing in her aquamarine eyes. “It was a late night after poker last month. I can only imagine the shit they must have taken at the ER when I dropped them off the next morning. Stiff necked, wearing the same clothes, yawning their heads off. Did wonderful things for my rep, I’m sure.”

 

There were tears of mirth on Randi’s cheeks as she gripped her ribs and tried to rein herself in. “You’re a regular Don Juan, stud.”

 

Now Zo finally joined in on the laughter. “Go check it out, Elizabeth. At the end of the hall.” Curious, despite the idea of living with a virtual stranger whom I’d seriously insulted, I went to see the room. It was magnificent. A huge bed like something from a fairy tale loomed over an elegant sitting area, complete with a small library, and great panes of glass let in the light from the wall of windows. A giggle of delight escaped me and I hadn’t even made it to the bathroom yet! There were no words for that palace of luxury. There was a half-sunken, tiled bath the size of a Jacuzzi, and a shower big enough for five if they were friendly. Plush carpet as soft as fog led to an enormous vanity area and a closet bigger than some flats I’d rented. It was far more luxurious than Zo had alluded to, and ever so much more impressive than anything I could afford on my own.

 

The others were in coats and hats when I came out grinning. “If you’re certain about having company Zo, I’d love to stay.”

 

“Great. Your stuff in Randi’s car?”

 

“Yes.”

 

In the parking garage there were hugs all around, even reticent Abby. I truly hoped I could return to working with these people. Even though that meant facing Mark’s ghost and… the Rocket. Shuddering at the thought, I followed Zo back upstairs.

 

“You’ll like it here,” Zo chattered happily. “If you need to stay for more than a few days, I’ll get you keys and teach you how the alarm system works.”

 

We dragged my luggage to the big room and Zo pulled out clean linens. “These have been on the bed for months getting musty.” In no time flat, the bed was remade while Zo told me what she knew about this wonderful old building. That done, she headed out to let me get settled in.

 

“Zo?” Pausing in the door, she glanced back with a half-smile. “Thank you.”

 

“Hey, these guys know you, like you and trust you. That’s good enough for me. And I’ll have to teach you that Kerry’s great outside that damn hospital. Besides, you’re a long way from home.”

 

“No,” I surprised myself by saying and her head cocked curiously. “This city is home. Being back in England only proved that to me.” It was more honest than I had meant to be with this stranger, but she merely gave me a warm, loving smile that warmed me thoroughly.

 

“Then, welcome home, Elizabeth.”

 

**The Vacation’s Over**

 

++ Kerry ++

 

(9-27-01)

 

“It wasn’t my idea,” Mel growled like a pissed-off wolverine with her paw in a trap and I relented. “That time bomb is a liability with a rich daddy. I’ve spent two weeks keeping an eye on her. It’s amazing that I’ve gotten anything done in this zoo.” Now, Mel was generally placid and calm by nature, a woman of few words and fewer confidences, so her agitated rumblings had my absolute attention. Her body language was still calm, on the surface anyway, and her voice pitched low so that only I could hear. This thing with Deb Chen being Chief Resident was going to get ugly. 

 

“Romano, I assume?”

 

Mel growled in response and I couldn’t help myself from laughing.

 

Around us, Cook County bustled to its usual heartbeat of barely restrained chaos. The taste of danger and relief was palatable in the air and I had to shake my head at my whimsy. Really, Zo’s maniacal creativity was rubbing off on me. Here, I was supposed to be the pragmatic one! Mel looked puzzled at my faint smile and I reached out to give her arm a squeeze. Since I wasn’t the touchy-feely type at all, she was understandably taken aback.

 

“Leave Chen to me. This isn’t over yet and she’s my responsibility. I really appreciate what you’ve done here, particularly these last few weeks while I was gone.” Boy, Mel looked downright speechless and I made a mental note to be more interactive with at least my more mature Attendings. With a last squeeze, I pulled away and moved off down the hallway to refamiliarize myself with my old territory.

 

Lydia’s voice echoed down the corridor as the nurses flocked towards the admit desk. “Well skin me alive and call me luggage! The rumors must be true! Or are the scrubs just a fashion statement in Europe these days?” Laughter warmed the ER as I arrived to see what the stir was. Oh yes, I had forgotten the bombshell dropped on me in this morning’s staff meeting.

 

“Good to see all of you,” Elizabeth smiled and seemed a bit overwhelmed by the enthusiasm. “I believe I’ve actually missed all of this.”

 

Again, they all laughed and a quick round of hellos and well-wishes had most of the staff back on duty. I could only hope it was professionalism that sent them off so quickly, and not merely my hovering nearby. Regardless, it worked and I flashed Elizabeth an uncomfortable smile and continued on my way. I could only wonder if she felt Mark’s ghost as powerfully as I did...

 

The only I could guess was that Robert was being his usual perverse self when he assigned Deb Chen as Chief Resident while I was on vacation and unavailable to fight the decision. The girl couldn’t handle the pressure of her regular duties, what the hell possessed him to think she could handle more? I almost felt bad for how frazzled she looked. Almost.

 

It was only a matter of time before something bad happened.

 

++ X ++

 

(10-4-01)

 

“So, how the hell have you been, anyway?”

 

Zo’s question didn’t surprise me. Since it had been me who invited her to Chicago in the first place, we had spent very little time together, renewing our brief friendship. “I’m relieved as hell that the Rocket hired Corday back. The pace and crappy staffing that damn hospital functions at is mind-boggling. This is the first time I’ve had two days in a row off since moving here!”

 

“So she’s settling in?”

 

“Yeah, seems like it. Doesn’t she talk to you? Shit, she’s living with you.”

 

“Hardly! Man, hours like what you guys are doing is like graduate school for a lifetime. No thank you!”

 

The club was fairly full this time of night on a Friday, but we’d found a booth in the back to relax and drink while we got our wind back. Dancing was good exercise, and outside of my hectic job, it was all I really got. As we wound down in the easy quiet, I studied my pal. There was something magnetic about her, a barely restrained energy that seemed ready to tear her apart. Even a dyed-in-the-wool fag boy like me could see the appeal. And the change in Kerry had been startling, to say the least! Their cool and hot energies were obviously very good for one another, calming Zo and revving Kerry up. “You’re good for her, y’know.”

 

Smiling wryly, Zo flashed me a teasing glance. “Elizabeth?”

 

That earned her a fond slap on the arm and we both laughed. “Very funny. You know exactly who I mean, but I think you’re a good influence on Corday too. We should drag that bird out and see if she lives up to her old reputation.”

 

Ah-ha! That comment perked Zo up and she swung her body to face me fully in the booth. “Oh? Do tell.”

 

“Seems she was a bit of a maverick and a wild girl.”

 

“Are we talking about the same Elizabeth Corday?”

 

“Yep. Used to be Benton’s main squeeze, the big surly black guy I work with.”

 

“I vaguely remember seeing him. Pretty intense guy.”

 

“Yeah. And she flirted manically with a guy that used to be a peeds surgeon and his girl. She was all over the map.”

 

“Until Mark Green.”

 

“Yeah, the rumor mill still puzzles over that one.”

 

We both brooded for a moment for the ghost of a man neither of us had met, but could still feel his presence in Cook County. It was Zo that spoke first. “Wonder what brought her back. I mean, seriously, it’s like people can’t get away from that place.”

 

“C’mon Zo, you’ve felt the energy. Hell, you painted it. Something about it gets into your blood like a drug.”

 

“Charming analogy.”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

A fond glower earned a chuckle and she nodded in understanding. Another easy quiet passed while we both people watched. And this time it was Zo who broke the quiet with a matter of fact statement that took me aback. “I’m going to get a job here.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yep. Of the places we’ve hit, this is above and beyond the best. I miss dancing like I did back home.”

 

“You mentioned that briefly when we met at Darya’s ceremony.”

 

“Paid for everything but tuition with that night job. There’s always those with money to throw at a sexy young thing who can move.”

 

“Amen to that. So how are you going to pull this off?”

 

White teeth flashed in her sculpted face. “I network.”

 

++ Zo ++

 

The paint had been flowing from like a river, and I loved it, but what was really plaguing me lately was the urge to dance. Hell, I had practically put myself through college and graduate school by dancing for a crowd. Nothing too pornographic, but just the thundering dance clubs where the lights flashed like alien ships invading. The canvases had been keeping me in chains since coming to this disorientingly flat place, there were no mountains here, but other creative juices were welling up. I adored this club, it was sprawling and interesting, the clientele was endlessly diverse, the staff discrete but very much present. And the dancers? Man, they were a rare breed, talented crowd pleasers that were given pretty free rein. It was like a realistic version of Coyote Ugly and I was determined to be a part of them. I didn’t need the money, so long as I was painting regularly, just enough to be fair. So, now I just needed to find the right persons to get ‘in’ with.

 

I had noted something in the Chicago clubs very quickly after starting to attend them. There were a cadre of women that worked in every damn club I’d been to. Or it sure as hell seemed like I saw them everywhere. They were distinctive in their very ability to remain endlessly discreet. Because of my weird ability to sense people’s emotions, I had grown extremely adept at subtle nuances. Ironically, the more overpowering the emotion, the easier it was to filter out for my own comfort. It was the subtle stuff that always got past my defenses. Sort of like filtering dirty water. The chunky stuff was easy, but the fine silt much more difficult. The mysterious women also moved like predators, their bodies and reflexes dangerous like a hunting cat or a pack of wolves. Most of humanity wasn’t in touch with their wild instincts. These women were. Now, I freely admit that I have a wild streak, so I was completely intrigued by these strangers.

 

It had been nearly four months since I had stepped foot into Chicago and I had made careful effort to hit the clubs at least once a week. People certainly were starting to know me, and that was just the way I liked it. Now I just needed to figure out how to approach one of my targets.

 

I had another weird ability that my friends and family could never quite get over. Somehow, through sheer coincidence, I had a knack of being in the right place at the right time. More specifically, circumstances bent themselves to my needs. So I had been merely waiting for the right moment to arrive. Imagine my surprise when Doctor Mel walked up to the nearby bar! 

 

“What the hell?” X muttered and I merely grinned. The towering woman looked fabulous in her tasteful club drag, skintight kidskin skirt and an inky jacket cut for her curves. Strappy high-heels completely the ensemble, making it damn obvious that she was a shark in a pond of little fishes. People took notice. Before either myself or X could catch her attention, Mel spotted whatever she was looking for and smiled predatorily. The cute little blonde tending bar was happy to see her. Oh yeah, very happy! They kissed like they went way back and my grin grew wider. The bartender was one of the predatory women I recognized and I had an in with her doctor girlfriend. Sweet!

 

Even as I crowed inwardly, the blonde gestured nonchalantly in my direction and I knew that X and I had been caught staring. The look on Mel’s face when she glanced over was priceless, shock melting into wariness. I put on my most charming smile and her expression became the tolerant humor that I was used to.

 

“How do you do that?” X grumbled.

 

“It’s that genetic Goldston charm,” I chortled in self-satisfied delight at my charming the wary woman. “You’re just jealous.”

 

X was still sulking as Mel approached and smiled softly at us. “I run into you in the strangest places.”

 

“Hey, I get around,” I kidded and threw my hands up in innocent protest.

 

“Don’t tell Kerry that,” Mel deadpanned and I laughed and gave her the thumbs up for taking the bait.

 

“Here,” X suddenly remembered his manners and gestured to the spot beside him. “Have a seat.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Before anyone could feel awkward about this unexpected meeting, I began to wax enthusiastic about the club and life in general.

 

++ Jane Pappas ++

 

I noticed the bouncy dark woman recognize Mel the moment she came in and took note. Little escaped my notice, I made damn sure of that. The dark woman, slender, gorgeous and borderline hyperactive with flashing aquamarine eyes and a waterfall of inky curls was an eye-catcher, no doubt about that. And unless I was wrong, and I was never wrong, she had been on the prowl for something from me and my sisters. It wasn’t an overt attention exactly, but I could tell that she wanted something. So having her recognize Mel had been a perfect stroke of luck. Mel would feel the woman out and let me know what was up. It was therefore a bit of a shock when Mel actually waved me over with a smile. She was one of the most discrete and calm people I knew, so the public summons was very telling. I nodded to Pony to take my spot and ducked out from behind the bar. 

 

“What can I do for you?”

 

The somewhat formal phrasing didn’t phase any of them and I took note of that too. Mel gestured to the man first and I gave him a nod of recognition. “Tar, this is Xavier, I work with him at the hospital. And this is Zo, who’s my boss’ other half.”

 

“No shit?” I couldn’t help but chuckle, because Mel had been regaling me with stories about the hospital ever since she had started there almost a year ago. “Then I’ve heard stories about you and your girl. Pleased to meet you, I’m Tarzan.”

 

Per usual, the name earned a start of surprise. Tarzan wasn’t exactly the kind of name people expected in a five foot six blonde girly girl. I liked startling people, it kept them off balance and me in command of a situation. Only, Zo barely blinked at the name, but only grinned saucily. “Then I’m guessing there’s more to you than meets the eye.”

 

It was a pointed comment, one designed to test my reactions and I paused. There was no threat from Zo, just a sense of easy victory that was surprisingly non-egotistical. I was intrigued now. “I’ve been underestimated for longer than you can possibly imagine,” I finally supplied in a voice both teasing and deadly serious. Mel only smirked, all too aware of exactly what I was referring to, and it only partially had to do with my smaller stature and innocent looks. Zo’s handshake was warm and solid, her body temperature elevated slightly and her grip just strong enough to be firm. I liked her already!

 

“Zo Goldston, pleased to meet you, Tarzan. I was curious who I needed to impress to get a job here.”

 

Ah, there was the kicker. Figured she wanted something, it seemed like they all did. “A job?” I inquired innocently, determined to feel out where she was coming from.

 

“Yep. I was a club dancer in LA at a place called Club 69 in West Hollywood.”

 

Now she had my attention. 69 in West Hollywood was famous in the club circuit for their cutting edge DJs and whip-smart staff. If what Zo was saying was true, then the other dancers would definitely want to talk with her. “Okay, let me talk to the staff. Leave me a phone number to contact you.”

 

“Sweet,” Zo chortled happily and I heartily approved of her good spirits. “In the meantime, I’m going to go dance! Comin’ X?”

 

“In a few,” the dark-haired man grinned and Zo bounced into the crowd, awhirl with an energy that was intoxicating.

 

“Is she always like that?”

 

“Pretty much. Zo doesn’t bottom out much, and it’s ugly when it happens from what I’ve heard. Her energy levels are surprisingly regular, though I have no clue how she stays at mach four all the damn time.”

 

“Poor Kerry,” Mel snorted sarcastically and we all laughed.


	7. HMS Voyeur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kerry pays for past mistakes and several old friends get a second chance at Cook County.

 

++ Kerry ++

 

(10-4-01)

 

I’d let Malucci get away with it again. The immature little creep had survived another mistake. And Chen had let another patient die that should have walked out of this godforsaken place.

 

(10-11-01)

 

I was starting to hate Thursdays. It seemed like everything came down the pipe on Thursdays. Chen was getting jumpy from my hovering, but I was too paranoid at her incompetence to back off. Why did it keep happening to her? Why couldn’t anyone see that she was a ticking time bomb of death? But, even as I internally lambasted her, I could still see my pager sitting on the shelf of the women’s stall at Magoo’s.

 

I hadn’t let Zo comfort me the night that young man had died and, much to my shock, she hadn’t pushed me. It wasn’t like her to cave so easily to that wounded animal inside me that was so afraid to trust and the implied rejection hurt like a deep bruise.

 

Then I remembered all the hateful things that Malucci had said to me. Catching him fooling around with that paramedic in the back of an ambulance for God’s sake had been the absolute last straw. Listening to him arrogantly justify himself with, “what? I’m on break,” had made me want to beat him senseless rather than fire him. Angry and whining, he’d begged me not to do it, pleaded with an angry and stone-faced Mel, created a scene right there at the admit desk that had humiliated all of us. Then he’d said…

 

The door to Zo’s apartment clicked open and I was overwhelmed at the wash of smooth music and good food smells that washed over me. It felt like home and yet inspired such fear in me. Then those burning eyes met mine and I cringed away from the intensity. There was a long, breathless eternity that passed while she stared into my wounded soul. Then, with deliberate care, Zo dropped her paintbrush into its can, set aside the palate and strode towards me. I was trapped by her, by my need for her, by the beast that dreamed me, that needed her as I need air and sustenance. Peeling off her paint-spattered shirt, Zo unceremoniously knocked aside my crutch, crushed me to her strong body, and kissed me until there was nothing else in the universe but her.

 

++ Liz ++

 

Once the medical textbook had grown weary, I reached over to shut off the little radio playing softly on the nightstand. And froze. Low sounds of pure abandonment teased through the air in Kerry’s unmistakable timbre. It was a delightful croon that wavered in bursts along a two-octave scale like a well-tuned engine. There was no mistaking her climax, the sobbing groan making every hair on my body stand up to attention. Covered in goosebumps, I could only stare fixedly at the wall and try and process. The fact that I had heard them fooling around was hardy earth shattering. It wasn’t the first time I’d overheard an amorous couple, and probably not the last. What shocked me so utterly was that I was panting, nipples hard, groin-achingly turned on. All brought about by the sounds of the sensual surrender of Kerry Weaver.

 

Too shocked to process, I could only stare at the wall in astonishment until at last weary darkness closed in around me.

 

(10-12-01)

 

 

In the weeks I had been living with Zo, there had been little concrete proof of her relationship with Kerry. Except on the sleepy-eyed mornings when Zo would send us MD’s off with thermoses of coffee, a light breakfast and a warm kiss for the redhead. Occasionally, I’d caught them cuddling or giggling like young lovers, but only seen them really kissing once. Kerry would blush every time at me catching them cuddling and Zo would roll her eyes tolerantly. It wasn’t like everyone didn’t know, but Kerry was obviously jumpy about public displays of affection. I always treated stumbling across them like it was no big deal. Because, in truth, it wasn’t a big deal at all. Slowly, but surely, Kerry had begun to relax and I didn’t want to lose that.

 

I didn’t tell them that next morning, that they had proven that they were lovers in every sense of the word. Guilt grappled with fascination and a blossoming voyeuristic streak that I had never known before.

 

It had taken a little desperate self-counseling that morning in the shower, but I had finally convinced my mind and hormones to knock it off. So this morning had been pleasant and normal… except that I knew I would never look at Kerry the same way again. In all the years I had known the woman, I had never acknowledged that she was attractive. Possibly even desirable. Zo had always seen that, despite the prickly exterior. A sharp glance at the painter earned me a curious look and, quickly averting my guilty gaze, I was ensnared by Kerry’s smoky green eyes. Now I knew what a deer in headlights must feel like. Panicking, I grasped for something to say, dignity and manners in tatters around me. 

 

“You’re beautiful, did you realize that?” I blurted out and the shock was comical on her features. “I suppose it sounds odd coming from me, but everyone ought to be complimented on occasion, right?”

 

My voice had come out squeaky and nervous, even to my own ears. Thank whatever deities watched over fools that Zo came to my rescue by striding over and tilting the small woman’s head back with a gentle hand. “See, _Mahtia mou_? It’s not just me.”  


Wide-eyed and vulnerable from the praise, Kerry stared intently into the soft blue eyes. After an intense moment, she made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a strangled sob and Zo dropped to her knees to gather her into strong arms. I received a sharp, thankful blue-eyed glare that warned me that my budding feelings had not gone unnoticed. Humiliated and self-conscious, I studied my breakfast intently to give them some small measure of privacy.

 

“You are beautiful,” Zo whispered softly, fiercely. Tears gathered in my eyes when Kerry whimpered like a frightened animal. What must it be like, to be so unsure in some ways and so frighteningly strong in others? “Whine about it all you want,” Zo chuckled lovingly. “But you are.”

 

There was a wordless sound of objection, the rustle of clothes and the soft sounds of kissing. Finally, I couldn’t stand it and raised my gaze to catch the tail end of the embrace. Kerry was clinging tightly to Zo’s neck, bodies pressed closely together, their coloring a feast for the eyes while they kissed. “Now, remember that two people told you that you’re beautiful today and that ought to make your day go fast.” A last quick kiss to punctuate her speech and Zo flashed me a smile. “Thanks Lizzie.” 

 

“My pleasure,” I grinned back nervously.

 

There was a final, long kiss at the door that I watched shamelessly. It wasn’t until Kerry’s soft sounds began to take on the pitches I knew from eavesdropping, that Zo let her go. “You two have a good day.”

 

The car ride had been excruciating. Only minutes from the hospital, Kerry had shyly asked if I had meant what I said. Firmly, I had assured her that I had, indeed, meant it. Her bashful grin earned an idiotic grin in response.

 

++ Maggie Doyle ++

 

(10-16-01)

 

“Alcoholism is starting to look appealing,” I groused irritably at my fat old tabby cat, but he only purred back lovingly. “Yeah, I know old man,” chuckled up from deep in my chest as I tugged his comforting weight into my lap. “As long as you get fed, the world is all good, right?”

 

“Mmrrrow,” Leo affirmed and snuggled in to nap. Despite his undying affection, I was terrified by the turn my life had taken. I was a product of Mercy, shut down all those years ago, and had grown to love County and the people there. Then that bastard, Romano, had pushed me too hard, his insults and insinuations as grating as shearing metal. Even now my temper rumbled like an angry dog at the memories. Then there’d been Mount Sinai…

 

The phone shrilled suddenly and I looked at my half-empty beer as though asking it if I should pick up. But I was slowly starving to death with no job and was hoping it was work. “Hello.”

 

“Maggie?”

 

Shock radiated down my spine as I recognized the voice and sent adrenaline rushing through my veins. “Doctor Weaver?”

 

“Hi,” she said with obvious nervousness and I sat up to pay closer attention.

 

“Hey,” I replied lamely.

 

“So…um how’s Sinai?”

 

This was too surreal… Kerry Weaver was on my phone, asking me about my job, with her voice pained with stress. I’d liked working with the woman and would have stayed put if not for that intolerable weasel of a chief of staff.

 

“I left months ago,” I admitted bluntly and there was a long pause.

 

“Really?” Was that relief, maybe hope, in her tone? “Can I beg you to come back to County?”

 

Well, this conversation was getting more startling by the sentence. “Come back?” I repeated idiotically.

 

“Oh Maggie, I know you loathe Romano, but I’m desperate to get someone onboard that I don’t have to wonder about their competence and reliability.” It was a hell of a compliment. Kerry rambled on as though my silence was a prelude to refusal. “If it’s only been a few months, I’ll take you on as an Attending, unless something awful happened, and I’ll do my damnest to keep Romano away from you, I swear.”

 

Attending? Someone would finally offer me that honor? It was one of the things that had finally just pissed me off at snobby old Sinai, their refusal to promote me when I had the backing of my coworkers and immediate supervisors. “You’d make me an Attending?”

 

“Is there any reason I shouldn’t?”

 

“No, I left Sinai because I was so damn sick of being overlooked and under appreciated.”

 

“I’ll make it better or die trying.”

 

Well, Romano or no Romano, there was really only one response to that.

 

“When can I meet up with you?”

 

++ Kerry ++

 

(10-18-01)

 

It had been an ugly day. A truly ugly and brutal day. And I had been so damn tempted to let that spoiled little shit take the blame she so richly deserved. But in the end I knew that if I didn’t acknowledge my small part, I’d have a difficult time looking myself in the eye. Not to mention Zo. There had been brutal repercussions from that patient dying while I’d been off talking to the private investigator that was looking for my birth mother. Those long minutes were all it took to take that young man’s life. Carelessness and stress had screwed up Chen and Malucci’s diagnosis and they had again come crying for me. Whose stupid idea had it been to make that girl Chief Resident? By the time Carter had entered the scene it was too late. All he’d been able to do was run to retrieve me and hope for a miracle. All I could do was pronounce the patient dead. 

 

And today had been about repercussions. In the end, Robert hadn’t been interested in whose fault it was. He merely needed someone to take the fall. There had been long moments where I’d wanted so badly to leave Chen twisting in the wind, but something stopped me. And here I was on two weeks suspension and three months probation. That humiliation was bad enough without that little prick Malucci adding his two cents. The things he said still stung. Bastard. After what had happened in that meeting, he should have been grateful I’d fired him a week ago for his relentlessly immature behavior. Though listening to Liz dress him down in proper British fashion had almost been worth it. The man’s eyes had bugged out of his head at her cool, precise volley of insults and slunk out with his tail between his legs. Served him right.

 

Exhausted in body and mind, I stepped out of the lounge and immediately noticed that the ER was amazingly slow. Thankful for the reprieve, I crept into my office and began to gather my things. Thank God I’d had the foresight to contact Maggie, who would be in today.

 

++ Mel ++ 

 

With Luka tending to the few patients we had in chairs, I was able to slog through mounds of backed up charts until my eyes were blurry. Kerry was upstairs in what was certain to turn into a farce of a hearing about the death of the Marfan’s patient. How I despised the political nature of this damn job. Laughter pulled my thoughts from their nosedive and I recognized Carter’s voice. “You should have seen his face!”

 

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” replied a deep, unfamiliar woman’s voice and I raised my head to see this latest female of John’s. “Been awhile since I’ve been Weavered.”

 

Okay, that comment got my attention and I took a closer look. Attractive in a blonde, girl-next-door kind of way, she had a damn sexy voice and walked with confidence and ease. Despite her weird taste in men and a bad haircut, I liked her smile and the glitter of humor and intelligence in her eyes. Then she grinned and I found myself returning the expression. Before I could react, Chuny came over and followed my gaze. Grinning with delight, she called out, “well hi stranger!”

 

“Hi Chuny, how have you been?”

 

The cries had alerted the chickens and they flocked around the blonde woman. Only Abby stuck close to me. “Do you know who that is?” She asked and I shrugged.

 

“No idea, but she’s got a great smile,” I chuckled and waited patiently to be introduced. Sure enough, the blonde’s rich laughter rippled over the gaggle of noises after a couple of minutes.

 

“Hey, I promise to come chat with all of you, but right now I’m shooing you off so that I don’t make a lousy first impression on your Head Attending over there.”

 

Abby and I chuckled, before she dispersed with the other nurses.

 

“I’ll go get that from my locker,” John told his companion, who waved indifferently at him.

 

“Sure, I’ll go be nostalgic.” With John out from underfoot, the woman strode over to the desk and offered a hand. “Susan Lewis, pleased to meet you…” Now I recognized her name, as well as the hesitation as she eyeballed the name stitched into my labcoat.

 

“Ah, the infamous Susan Lewis. Pleasure to meet you. The name’s Melanie Tairnghael, just call me Mel.”

 

“Great! Rumor has it that you’re the person to impress around here. Buy you lunch?”

 

Oh, I liked being startled by her gall and again laughter bubbled up from my throat. “Kerry deals with the political bullshit and I pretty much try and do the slave labor here, so I suppose that I would be a good place to start. Are you looking to work here again?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Then, by all means, feed me. But you’ll still have to convince Kerry.”

 

“I know,” Susan grinned. “But then I’ll have you in my corner.”

 

We laughed together and shook hands. If she was like this all the time, I would be delighted to keep her around. “Well, you’re in luck, we need an Attending. So now’s your chance to suck up.”

 

“So I heard.”

 

++ Susan ++

 

I hadn’t been in Chicago in three years.

 

Except to bury Mark.

 

The deserts of Arizona had worn at me in that time, their flat monochromatic emptiness like an echo of my own soul. I missed him so bad, wished I’d never left, wanted to have been here for him. I liked this steady, witty Amazon who’d replaced him here at County, though. Mel had all of the qualities that had made Mark a fantastic ER doctor, and fewer of the flaws. Poor Mark had always been too nice and people had walked all over him. Especially strong personalities like Kerry Weaver. In just a few minutes of casual conversation, Mel’s underlying layers of steel were revealed by her comments and what kind of things would make her chuckle. 

 

“So,” she commented quietly and leaned back in the booth. I looked up from where I’d been rapturously wallowing in my greasy burger. Never thought I’d miss Doc Magoo’s so much. “You’ve been ‘Weavered’?”

 

The questioning tone made me chuckle sheepishly. “I made the term up when I talked about this place in Phoenix. It became the term for overbearing administrators.”

 

“Did she make you try harder?”

 

The somber question caught me completely of guard. “What do you mean?”

 

“Did she make you try harder, push your boundaries, kick you in the ass when you thought you couldn’t go on?”

 

I flashed back to those days with Kerry so diligently trying to climb the food chain. In those days I hadn’t understood her and what she was trying to accomplish. Had it been me at that age and professional level, vying for the same positions, I would have done it completely different. But I wasn’t Kerry and never would be. “Yeah,” I mused thoughtfully. “I guess, looking back, maybe she did.”

 

“Good,” Mel smiled gently and leaned back in her booth and her expression becoming calculating and thoughtful. “You’re gregarious, adaptable, experienced and make a great first impression. The nurses like you and you’re willing to give Kerry a break.”

 

“You really like her.”

 

“Yeah, but that has absolutely nothing to do with work relationships. I’ve worked with people I adore and cannot stand as coworkers and had complete assholes as bosses that I’d jump through hoops for. We’re talking about respect here. There are a couple of idiots on staff right now, one of which Kerry thankfully fired a week ago. The other… well, we’ll see.”

 

Her face had gone through a whole rainbow of emotions that I watched in fascination. Mel was subtle, a soothing mix of intensity and serenity. She must be the perfect compliment to Kerry’s aloof and overbearing style of leadership.

 

++ John ++

 

Oh, I knew it was insane to volunteer to put in a couple hours in at work while Susan was chatting up Mel, but what else was I supposed to do with the time? Besides, it gave me a chance to work on the never-ending flow of paperwork. There was a ruckus of voices, but a moment’s attention informed that is was nothing bad or urgent. Then the mood outside shifted into laughter and I grew intrigued. Was Susan back with Mel? Did things go well? Shoveling my charts back into my locker, I headed out to the admit desk. There was a slender woman with dark hair hugging Randi, who was chattering excitedly. When the stranger leaned back to laugh at the happy clerk, I was delighted to recognize her. “Maggie!”

 

“John!”

 

I got a hug too, liking her strong grip around my neck and waist. “How have you been? I lost track of you.”

 

“Shit happens,” she shrugged and we both felt Mark’s funeral keenly in our memories. “But not this time,” Maggie perked up, slapping me lightly on the shoulder. “Kerry hired me back.”

 

“That’s great!” I enthused as Randi threw in her own happy comment. Then I realized something that made my smile fade.

 

Susan was off chatting with Mel for the same position…

 

Kerry hadn’t told us that she’d already hired a new Attending.

 

Crap.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

It wasn’t the kind of reaction I was expecting. Oh sure, the initial delight in my old pal was great, but why did his face suddenly fall like that? Something was wrong…

 

Before John could say anything, laughing women’s voices caught his attention. His expression was a twisted combo of relieved and queasy. I turned as a towering Amazonian figure stepped into my personal space to smack John on the arm as I had done only moments ago. “Good call Carter, she’s perfect. C’mon Susan, let’s go see if Kerry’s done with that meeting yet. Might as well give her one bright spot today.”

 

“Oh, I don’t know if I’ll be a bright spot,” a familiar voice laughed. “I told you that we didn’t get along.”

 

“People change Susan. Hey Carter, looks like our personnel problems are solved, good call on bringing your friend here in.”

 

Then the Amazon shifted and I recognized the blonde woman behind her. She looked as surprised and delighted as I’m sure I did. Then alarm radiated up my spine as John spoke weakly, “actually, I think our problems are just beginning. This is Maggie Doyle, she used to work here too.” Comprehension was dawning in both women’s eyes. “Kerry hired her back.”

 

“Aw shit,” the Amazon muttered and shoved her hands in her coat pockets.

 

The dynamics of the meeting suddenly shifted. 

 

My old teacher, whom I’d been delighted to see a moment ago, was suddenly a rival.

 

++ Mel ++

 

It was like watching a pair of cats bristle up, unsure how they should react. I knew I needed to do damage control, but had no clue what to do. Damn that puppy child for distracting Kerry so badly. The woman wasn’t scatterbrained unless she was gettin’ some. Though it had been worse with Hurricane Legaspi.

 

I gave an internal snort of irritation at the blonde psychiatrist and refocused, shocked at Susan’s next move.

 

She started chuckling, and offered the dark young woman a friendly hand. “Well, maybe we can persuade them that they’d be stupid not to keep us both.”

 

And the new girl started laughing too.

 

I realized that the other three knew each other even as my brain went off on distracted multitask mode. While they laughed and bonded, I went to the phone and prayed I knew what the hell I was doing. “Doctor Romano, this is Tairnghael down in the ER.”

 

“What can I do for you?” His voice was perversely jovial on the other end. I had a bad feeling about Kerry…

 

“We’ve found a couple of candidates for the Attending position and I was wondering if we had enough budget for both.”

 

“I don’t give a damn who you hire, but I can only give you an additional Resident salary,” he told me calmly and hung up.

 

Oh great. Now what…

 

++ Susan ++

 

Bumping into Maggie had been an unexpected delight. Both Mark and I had been impressed with the then-young Resident, even if Mark had kept underestimating her. When I had left County, I distinctly remember the sensation of her sort of taking my place. Now Maggie looked a little older and far wiser, less hotheaded and eager to please and more confident and settled. It suited her nicely. “You’re still too damn skinny,” I chided fondly and Maggie laughed warmly.

 

“Yeah well, borderline hyperactivity will do that,” she chuckled and sobered suddenly, her gaze wandering to where Mel had gone to a house phone. “What are we gonna do?”

 

Then I felt that comforting, wolf-like presence I was beginning to associate with Mel at my back. “That son of a bitch Romano will only give me an additional Resident.”

 

I could feel Maggie’s scowl on the back of my head as I held Mel’s eyes. There had to be a way out of this, Maggie was too good of a doctor to not keep. Mark had told me what happened with Romano and Maggie, the result of which had been her loss to County. “Mel?” I heard myself asking calmly, an idea forming in my mind. “How much is each salary?” The amounts she rattled off were actually better than I had expected “Well at least this place finally pays better,” I scoffed and earned smiles from both John and Mel. I turned to catch Maggie’s broody and defensive gaze. We were both aware that I had years more experience and would probably win this match, but I had no desire to lose her as a coworker or pal. The salary Mel had just rattled off was almost identical to what I’d been making in Arizona, and the Resident salary was competitive. “Here’s a thought. Combine them and split it down the middle.”

 

There was a long, startled silence before Maggie smiled brilliantly.

 

And I knew then that everything would be all right.


	8. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A time of reunions… and eye-openers.

 

++ Kerry ++

 

Well, I’d hidden in here long enough and should face the music before Mel went off shift. I gathered a few things so that I would have no need to return here during my exile and headed outside.

 

Only to be greeted by gales of laughter down at the admit desk. I knew the sound and shape of Mel, John, Randi and Maggie, but who was the fifth person? When I was only a few yards away, John spotted me and all eyes followed. Two things struck me right off. I knew the blue-eyed blonde woman and the whole crowd of them seemed happy to see me. I couldn’t help by smile back tremulously.

 

“Susan,” I greeted her softly, shocked that my voice was trembling slightly. “How have you been?”

 

“Better,” she replied even more softly, the gentleness in her tone unlike the woman I had known years ago. “Now that I’m home. Mel got a Resident salary out of Doctor Romano and you get two Attendings for cheap.”

 

I didn’t understand and could only shake my head in confusion. Mel came to my rescue with a sigh. “John brought Susan in for an informal interview and you were still upstairs with Romano. I didn’t know about Doctor Doyle here. So they agreed to combine the two salaries and split it down the middle. What did that son of a bitch do to you that made him so gleeful?”

 

Her even tone had never changed and that nonchalance helped steady my frayed nerves. Delaying my reaction, I offered a friendly hand to Susan. “Welcome back. Thanks for helping Mel out with the hiring problem.”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

Then I returned my gaze to Mel’s concern. “Doctor Chen and I will be on two weeks suspension and you’re in charge. Is there anything I need to go over with you right this minute?”

 

Visibly stunned, Mel only shook her head. “Suspension?”

 

“Yes. Sorry to drop you like this Maggie, but Mel will get you set up. I’ll see you soon Susan,” I managed to say fairly calmly and headed for the exit. There was a sharp desperation to get out of there and wished with a vengeance that I could actually run. Instead, I gripped onto the crutch as though it was my lifeline and hobbled away as fast as I could. By the time I hit the swinging doors, I was in tears and halfway across the ambulance bay, I was blind with them. 

 

++ Maggie ++

 

“I really hate that smug, self-centered prick,” Mel stated calmly and I looked up to see that the corners of her eyes were tense. 

 

“I couldn’t agree with you more,” I murmured darkly, the venom in my voice crystal clear. 

 

“You have to be patient this time,” Susan commented placidly. “You let me handle Doctor Romano.”

 

Part of me wanted to bristle. She didn’t know what I had been through with that weasel. Then I looked in her pale eyes and saw that she really just might understand. She had been Mark Green’s best friend, and he had obviously kept her abreast of some of the stuff that had happened here. There was a deeper kinship here.

 

“When can you start?” Mel suddenly asked as the doors settled into place behind Kerry’s abrupt departure.

 

“The sooner the better apparently,” I snorted.

 

“Come back tomorrow and get your paperwork settled.”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

“How about you Susan? Because it appears that I’m in need of a second in command, and you’re getting volunteered.”

 

“So much for dodging responsibility,” Susan snorted mockingly and I chuckled along with Mel. “It’s a little more complicated for me, I’m afraid. My life is in Arizona right now and it takes a bit of effort to move so far. And I’ll need to find a place.”

 

“I’ve got a spare room,” I heard my voice say and John’s eyes rounded. A dirty look was my only reaction.

 

“Really?” Susan mused. “You sure you want the company?”

 

“Yeah, sure. It’ll be nice to have a roommate with no strings attached.”

 

“Thanks Maggie.”

 

“No problem.”

 

With all mocking seriousness, we shook on the deal and returned our attention to the others. Susan briskly rubbed her hands together and grinned. “So, John my boy, I suppose we should head to this amazing poker game.” Even as John opened his mouth to respond, she turned back to me. “You should come with. It’ll be fun.”

 

I barely heard her as something caught my eye and my guts twisted up into knots.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

I felt the gaze long before I looked up to meet it. Like a bad movie special effect, everything seemed to slow as the dread crawled up my spine and hit my brain. The familiar brown eyes were equal parts frosty and blistering. Oh no. Hadn’t my week been shitty enough? Tomorrow was the year anniversary of Mark’s wedding proposal and I feeling fragile and strung too tight. How the hell was I supposed to handle this loaded situation?

 

Robert continued to ramble for a moment before he too trailed off into silence. It was like an old Wild West standoff, both parties fanning out in preparation to gun the others down. What did I do? How could I try and defuse this before it spiraled out of control? 

 

In the end, Maggie took the decision out of my hands.

 

She gave Susan Lewis, whom I abruptly recognized, a quick squeeze on the arm and began walking towards me. I could almost hear the spurs jangling. Then she was standing so close I could feel the heat of her belly and breasts, and see the spokes of color in her expressive gaze. For a crazed moment I had no idea if she was going to slap me…

 

Or kiss me.

 

Instead, there was a firm grip on my right hand, and Maggie was smiling like a hungry predator. “Doctor Corday, what a pleasure. I look forward to working with you again.” 

 

The strong hand wrapped around my own suddenly squeezed convulsively and I nearly winced. The maneuver succeeded in getting some inane reply out of me that obviously satisfied Maggie, who turned her attention the man beside me. 

 

“Doctor Romano,” Maggie said in a voice like icy tundra and gave him a bare nod of her head. There would be no handshake for him, as she was still gripping my hand tightly. “Thank you for working with us to cover the personnel issues here in the ER.”

 

Then she met my eyes again and I could see the weight of age and experience that had only just been blooming when her life here had fallen apart. I had a hand in those shadows and I felt the weight of it keenly in my heart. The young woman, not so young anymore, had been a good doctor and hadn’t deserved what had happened. The gay issue had become a fixture in my subconscious because of her. And Kerry and Zo had really brought it to the forefront in my mind. In them, I had found understanding and acceptance to something that had been drilled into me as being aberrant. Maggie had never had that from me. Romano had found it all too easy to knuckle me under with threats to Peter’s career. Now, perhaps I would have the chance to rectify some of those mistakes. Something passed between our gazes... something electrical and suffocating. I was astonished yet unsurprised to realize that this intense woman intimidated me.

 

It was far stranger to feel the thrill that zinged through me like low voltage electricity.

 

++ Mel ++

 

Maggie looked positively smug as she sauntered back to the rest of us. 

 

“What did you say?” Was immediately out of Susan’s mouth and we all waited expectantly. Maggie was instantly all innocence, hand dramatically to her chest. Oh, she was going to be a handful, but in a good way.

 

“Say? I was merely greeting my fellow MDs. That you insinuate that I would say anything to the contrary...”

 

Lydia strode by with a wry comment. “This isn’t the Oscars, girl.” We laughed while Maggie looked appropriately crushed and Lydia rolled her eyes. “You jokers should swing past the poker game tonight and catch up.”

 

John lit up like a kid on Christmas and was immediately all over the two women to get them to go. Yep, they were fitting back in just fine.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

I was shaken by my meeting with Maggie and the rest of the day was a blur. I had been taking Xavier’s Thursday graveyards so that he could play poker with the others. I had never before been thankful for working a solid twenty-four hours! Right now I couldn’t even imagine facing all of them at the loft. Perhaps it was cowardly... but I just couldn’t.

 

In time, the dawn began to lighten Chicago’s autumn skies and it was time for me to return home. Still in a daze, I went to the El and brooded all the way to Jackson Park.

 

What was it about Kerry and now Maggie that rattled me so badly? And why not Zo? None of this made any sense. All I could hope was to get over whatever this strange fascination was and move on with my life. Yes, I decided firmly, that was exactly what I would do.

 

What quickly began to happen to me was a complete lack of control that terrified and thrilled me.

 

After my compliment in the kitchen, my relationship with Kerry rapidly evolved into friendship. Oh, in the ER she was as nasty and short-tempered as always, but I understood now that it was how she maintained control. As we began to spend breaks together and swap stories of medicine and childhood and the things that had shaped us into the people we were today, the bond was cemented. It was wonderful and enlightening. She was clever, funny and charming beneath the facade she wore at work. Occasionally, that side would show and the staff was enthralled.

 

It was Maggie that was making an even bigger impact than my or Susan’s return. The nurses adored the young woman, now that her youthful arrogance had mellowed like fine wine into potent competence. Her gregarious, sports-fan personality was a hit with the patients and staff alike. When she would get bantering with Kerry, or more likely, Susan, it was like a comedy routine.

 

I was fascinated but dared not get anywhere near their relationships. It wasn’t like me, I knew that, but something inside me was changing and I was scared.

 

Then there was the matter of overhearing Zo and Kerry. At any given time my ears would perk up and listen attentively to the faint sound. It was becoming torture. One night my lizard brain woke me to listen, half-asleep and open to suggestions. Without thinking, I ran both hands down my relaxed body, gasping when I tweaked my nipples, erect and straining in the cool air. They were active tonight, Kerry voicing a sharp yelp that was faintly echoed by Zo’s laughter. I smiled but remained in my hormone-induced trance.

 

Listening to their pleasure made my hands wander ever downward. My flatmates had been feeding me good, healthy food and the new flesh was reassuring around my bones. Leaving my tender nipples, I traced the slopes and hollows of ribs, belly, hips. I was truly lost in the pleasure now.

 

Loneliness and celibacy hadn’t sat well with me, but I’d dreaded any man’s touch after losing Mark so abruptly. ‘Who needed a man’s help?’ My inner voice sneered and I half-moaned and half-chuckled. Even as my fingers slid into the burning wet between my legs, I kept my ears trained to Kerry’s vocalizations, but there was no sound while I stroked myself and squirmed. Damn… it seemed that my lizard brain had lost its opportunity to subvert my sense of protocol. Then I heard it. Kerry wasn’t done quite yet. Embarrassed and relieved, I let my fingers pick up the pace. Close now, my fingers deep inside as well as stroking my aching clitoris, I hovered there on the edge.

 

“C’mon,” I muttered between clenched teeth and rolled over to bury my face in the pillow. “C’mon, Kerry, c’mon…” Then that sharp tone of surrender pierced through wood and plaster, at last allowing the wave of pleasure to break over me. Screaming into the pillow, I was left gasping and panting.

 

And feeling very naughty.

 

What was happening to me? Was this burn new? Had I always been attracted to women? And why would this be happening now? Childhood experiments hardly counted...

 

Did they?

 

Attending girl’s schools until college had left my healthy libido with few outlets. So I had cultivated a select few and the memories washed over me. Touching and tasting and learning with my peers, desperation and curiosity driving us on...

 

Red-faced and confused, I moved my hands to clench the pillow suffocating tight against me and brood. While I adored Zo well enough, she didn’t have the almost dangerous fascination that the ever-enigmatic Kerry Weaver did. As my friendship with the small woman grew, I began to realize that it wasn’t just me that was secretly so taken with her. There was something perilous and magnetic about her, drawing a person in like moth to flame. And it was certainly a sensual fire she kindled in me, as my trembling body was proof of. This was insane…

 

And I flatly refused to deal with whatever the bloody hell Maggie Doyle did to my sanity.

 

++ Kerry ++

 

Once more...

 

Once more I had tried.

 

Because I was so desperate to know.

 

To know what I was.

 

Where I came from.

 

I only wanted to hear the voice of the woman who had given me life. There was a part of me, a small, scared corner of my little girl soul that just wanted to know.

 

It rang... and rang... and rang yet a third time.

 

A click.

 

“Hello?”

 

Was this her voice?

 

“Umm... hello. My... my name is Kerry Weaver. Please... did you give up a daughter up years ago?”

 

Please, oh please.

 

A gasp, a stammered denial of words I barely comprehended.

 

And a dial tone.

 

Shattered, I stared at the phone. Shattered, I stared at the unforgiving plastic until once again my dark lover came to me.

 

Wrapped me in love.

 

And saved me from despair.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

The next day was the start of my transition to nights for a couple of weeks. Hot sunlight in the skylights sent me into a ‘late for work’ tizzy before I remembered. Well, I was certainly awake now! Muzzy-headed from oversleeping, I sat on the edge of the bed and cradled my head in my hands. Only to catch the scent of guilty pleasure on my fingertips. And froze.

 

A knock on my door nearly made me jump clean out of my skin. “You decent?” Rang Zo’s voice and I dove for my robe.

 

“Yes,” I was finally able to verbalize as I cinched the tie around my waist and my roomie stepped in. Broken nerves fled in the face of coffee mug in her hands. “For me?” I whimpered and she laughed.

 

“Yep.” Four lanky strides and she was handing the mug over. “Want some company?” There was something in her tone that made it less of a request and more of a gentle demand. My lizard brain cackled madly. How did she know? It was eerie sometimes, the way Zo just knew things about people. If I weren’t a scientist, I would probably be convinced that she was psychic or some such nonsense. Nodding mutely, I gestured at the library corner and followed her over there. Zo sprawled back gracefully into one of the overstuffed chairs and gazed at me with that astute, fathomless gaze. Blissful coffee let me duck away from that look for long moments. “We didn’t mean to disturb you last night.” I was so shocked that I very nearly dropped the mug. Oh god, what was I supposed to say? Your girlfriend is turning me into a shameless hussy? I was half-mad with the wondering Kerry and Maggie kindled in me. Did Zo really know what was going on with me? Or did it just seem that way? The ocean eyes were the same; enigmatic and gently demanding. “I’d hate to think we were keeping you up, even if the thought is titillating.”

 

“You know,” I breathed hoarsely and she shrugged.

 

“I know that you’re fascinated with Kerry. Oh relax, Liz, I’m not here to growl at you or get into some stupid, jealous pissing match.” The quirky grin made me relax despite myself. “She’s hard to resist. Unless I’m totally off base here?”

 

There it was, the easy way out.

 

I could pretend that all this was a huge misunderstanding and go about my life… but the denial stuck in my throat. This young woman had been very good to me and was a terrific friend. How the hell was I supposed to come clean without ruining that friendship? Or dying of embarrassment…

 

The silence stretched out until I couldn’t stand it anymore. At times like this it was obvious what the woman’s doctorate was, damn psychologists…

 

“I-can-hear-her-sometimes-and-it’s-driving-me-insane-wondering-what-she-must-be-like-both-of-you-I’m-going-mad-with-curiosity-and-I-can’t-do-this-because-she’s-your-girlfriend-for-god’s-sake…”

 

Only the need for air shut off the torrent of words and Zo’s smile turned predatory. Goodness… I’d never seen that look before. Swallowing nervously, I realized that I was feeling very similar to when I listened to Kerry moan.

 

“So let me get this straight, so to speak,” Zo purred in a voice of black velvet and sultry midnight. My skin crawled deliciously while my lizard brain squealed in startled delight. “Listening to Kerry turns you on? How interesting… I’ll have to try harder to make her scream. It’s been a goal of mine since I first dragged her into my bed and began to find out what was really beneath that icy exterior.”

 

A thick silence hung over the room while I gaped and Zo eyed me from beneath inky lashes. Then she chuckled to break the tension and I could breathe again. Images burned behind my eyes as clearly as though I’d witnessed them myself. Zo’s clever, dark hands coaxing away Kerry’s clothes to caress creamy skin. Their flesh, naked and sweaty among the navy sheets customarily on Zo’s bed. Kerry, flushed the color of salmon roses, tensed and arched, fingers clutching the sheets crying for relief, Zo’s black curls splayed over her belly, dark hands holding her hips, anchoring her…

 

“Yes,” Zo chuckled. “Just like that.”

 

Her voice fractured the images, leaving me breathless and flushed. “This is insane,” I whimpered and Zo’s smile turned sympathetic.

 

“Maybe, but enjoy it. For now it’ll be our little secret. Kerry’d blow an artery if she knew you were listening, and I like getting a piece of her cute little butt way too much to tell her.” Zo’s expression turned carefully thoughtful and she rubbed her chin. “Y’know, there’s a puzzle piece here you’ve neglected to mention.”

 

Dread crawled up my spine, froze my brain and glued my teeth together. Oh please lord, please have her not read me like a book...

 

“Maggie makes you hot and bothered.”

 

Dammit, it wasn’t fair that I should be so fucking shocked to hear someone actually verbalize it! As though those six words were some kind of catalyst, some part of me surrendered to the idea. The reward was sweet torture as the images flooded through me. Those dark, earthy eyes with that powerful personality blazing within them. Her slim, sturdy frame and easy movements as she went through her days. What were her nights like? What was she like, asleep? Or... or amorous?

 

I really hadn’t wanted to admit to the feelings young Maggie was causing, but I knew that there was no escape. Zo startled the hell out of me by leaning in and placing a gentle hand on my knee. There was a grave understanding in her eyes that calmed me.

 

“Don’t waste the opportunity. Chemistry can open most doors and communication can turn it into more than just hormones. I like Mags, she’s a great person. You guys have some history, I know, but I think that could be a strange beginning. You don’t strike me as the type to back down from a challenge, Liz.”

 

Patting me, Zo stood and stretched before moving to the door. She paused there and I met her eyes. “There’s more coffee in the kitchen as well as lunch.” Then her expression morphed into a grin and I found myself smiling back. “You can’t have my Kerry, but I think you’ve got something just as rewarding and challenging in your reach if you want it.”

 

And she was gone.

 

And I was left with my confusion, my pain and… my hope.


	9. Birthdays and Anniversaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The season grows cold, but the relationships don’t!

++ Zo ++

 

(10-31-01)

 

Tarzan had come through for me and I’d been dancing at Creature Comforts for nearly three weeks. I loved the attention and the glorious sensation of bass and body in tandem. While the regular stable of dancers had been wary of my addition to their elite cadre, I had won them all over. Except Silver. I still had no clue how to warm her up. Ah well, good things come to those who are patient!

 

Other than that, I couldn’t be happier! My buddies were close by, my lover had made me ecstatic to be twenty-seven just yesterday, and the party in my loft was hoppin’! So, why couldn’t I shake the faint wisp of dread that had been plaguing me for two months? While I was positive it had nothing directly to do with me, it still wouldn’t leave me alone. Once more shrugging off the creepy sensation, I dove into my night with abandon. “Abs!” Chuckling, Abby let me scoop her into a bear hug that left her feet dangling and planted a wet kiss on her. “Happy anniversary!” Those that could get away from County this night toasted the two of us as Abby rolled her eyes mockingly and returned my hug.

 

“Happy birthday, Zoey. I’ll tell you one thing; it feels like longer than a year I’ve been in that ER.” Her dry tone earned laughter and I set her back on the floor.

 

Bruce’s grandmother had taken a turn for the worse and he had decided to stay with her. Nostalgia for his childhood territory had certainly played a role! Just about a week ago, I had become the official leasee of the magnificent loft I now considered home. With Elizabeth taking on a hefty chunk of the money needed to keep the place paid for and updated on its utilities, I could concentrate on painting. 

 

So, now I had the best damn place in the world to live, a decent day job, and a lover that was ideally suited to my strengths and weaknesses. Life was good.

 

++ Susan ++

 

(11-8-01)

 

God, I felt like such an idiot. Nothing like being totally clueless to make a woman wish the ground would just open up and swallow her up. Argh! I really had been gone a long time. The sound of the key in the lock barely broke the haze of self-recriminations and whiskey. “You looked wiped,” Maggie noted as she dropped her coat and bag over a chair and headed for the kitchen. Listening to Carter tell me about what had gone wrong in his life chilled me. All day I had been like a walking zombie. It drove home how much County had changed and yet how much it had remained the same. Something shoved under my nose startled me out of my foggy day-dreaming. “Eat something,” Maggie said simply and flopped into her beat up old lounge chair. It was sweet-smelling kettle corn, the faint aroma of warm goodness still clinging to the fluffy mass. Instantly, my taste buds were flooding and I went for a handful. Clicking on the TV, Maggie went channel surfing while I calmed my hungry belly.

 

“This was perfect,” I hummed happily as I plowed through the popcorn. “How did you find this?”

 

“I got my ways,” Maggie smirked, but the expression didn’t travel far.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

For long moments my new roomie ignored me. She had been surprisingly easy to live with these couple of weeks and I was pretty certain that we were a good match. A good room mate was harder to find than an ideal lover, so I was hoping like hell. Something was troubling her and I wanted to be a friend, so I waited until she was ready to talk, my own problems forgotten for the moment.

 

“You ever been attracted to the wrong person?” Maggie’s voice was soft and uncomfortable and she gripped the remote as though it was a life-raft.

 

“Mags, I am the queen of bad attractions,” I snorted. “Well, Abby ties me in that department, but the point remains the same. Someone caught your eye?”

 

Oh yeah, even if she denied it at this point, she was squirming like a guilty four-year-old. Long moments ticked by with only Jeff Corwin keeping us company on the TV. “I keep... I keep getting sparks,” Maggie ground out like the words physically hurt her to say them. “And chemistry and shit... but I hate her. This is some kind of karmic retribution for somethin’ horrible I musta done when I was a kid. I don’t even like her! Pompous, hard-headed, chicken shit…” She was ranting like a madwoman, voice hard and tense, eyes glued sightlessly on the TV. “It’s stupid.” She finally pouted like an angry child and I had to repress a smile at the picture. Tough Maggie Doyle, bottom lip stuck out and eyebrows furrowed with emotion. If she stomped her foot, I was going to die laughing...

 

“So, you’ve got sparks with someone you can’t stand? Hmmm. Makes for some wild chemistry, but it’s easy to get burned.” It sounded so wise, and I had no clue where it came from. When Maggie flashed me a ‘duh’ look, I shrugged sheepishly. “Well, it’s true.”

 

“Aw, Suze,” she groused and scrubbed both hands over her face before disarraying her hair and sighing heavily. “It was a good thing to say. It’s just... complicated.”

 

Maggie and I had been spending a lot of time together since my return from Arizona. If this mysterious ‘somebody’ was under her skin this bad, I should know who. Hesitantly, I had to ask, “it’s not me, is it?”

 

That earned me a dirty look that filled me with relief. I playfully defended myself from the pillow she chucked at me and grinned at her amused growl. “No! Dork...”

 

“Then who? We’ve done little more than work since I got back. What? One of the cute little nurses catch your eye?” My sing-song mocking earned another pillow before Maggie resumed brooding.

 

“No. Not that there aren’t some attractive nurses this round, but... no.”

 

“That bartender?”

 

“No!”

 

“Because that might be why you refuse to take me back to that great bar.”

 

“Frack,” Maggie tried to growl threateningly, but her smile was irrepressible. “I won’t take you back to that bar, straight girl, because you cramp my style. How am I gonna find any love with women thinking we’re together?”

 

We finally laughed together over that one and the mood was considerably lightened. I still wondered who she was talking about even as the subject appeared dropped for the moment. Maggie had a case of hero worship for Kerry that could be puppy love, but I knew that Maggie was smarter than that. You’d have to be blind, stupid and possibly dead to miss the bond between Kerry and Zo. No one would be muscling in on that anytime soon. I would have noticed Maggie throwing sparks with anyone on the ER staff... So someone else in the hospital. Joan in Obs? Naw, the personalities wouldn’t click. Maggie would be attracted to someone strong and fiery, someone who would push her buttons and spar with her. Someone... someone like Elizabeth.

 

“Maggie?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“What exactly happened between you and Elizabeth?”

 

A sharp look laced with fear confirmed quite a few suspicions, but I wanted to hear exactly what Maggie would confess. She was so uncomfortable, hunched into herself as though scared, or cold. “I put a sexual harassment suit against Romano. Kerry was gonna back me up, so was Elizabeth, but she bailed out at the last second and I looked like an idiot and left in a huff. No explanation, no remorse, nothin’. She looked uncomfortable and guilty. I was, am, so pissed that I can’t think clearly.”

 

“And now you’re attracted to her,” I stated bluntly. After a long moment, Maggie nodded stiffly. 

 

Damn...

 

++ Kerry ++

 

(11-15-01)

 

“Of all the boneheaded, asinine, dangerous stunts!” I was half out of my mind with worry and railing at my young med student. Michael Gallant looked both ashamed and proud of himself. I wanted to strangle him. “Going into the field, first of all! With an OB doctor! And then performing a c-section in the back of a crashed van with live power lines draped over it in the pouring rain!?! Are you out of your mind?”

 

“I take full responsibility, Kerry,” Joan’s calm voice broke into my rant and Gallant looked relieved. “I drafted him. There was no one else and he did a great job.”

 

Rounding on the toweringly tall woman, I laid into her even harder than Gallant. “Oh, there was no doubt in my mind that this was all your fault. Jesus Joan! What were you thinking?”

 

“They were both going to die Kerry. I’ll be damned if I was going to let that happen.”

 

Her quiet conviction finally broke through my stress and I sighed heavily. “Romano is going to let you hang out to dry.”

 

“Well that all depends on how this little soap opera pans out,” Robert’s voice rang down the hallway as he made a dramatic entrance to collect the mother for surgery. “Now Kerry, never assume, it makes an ass of you and me. Well, Golfino, if she survives, you’re a hero.” Shoving the gurney towards the elevators, Robert fired off his parting shot. “If she dies, I don’t know you.”

 

Joan rolled her eyes expressively at the little man’s antics, but her worry was still apparent. “Happy Holidays to you too, Mr. Grinch. I’m going to check up on the infant. You coming Michael?”

 

There was little more I could say or do and waved Michael off to enjoy being the hero for that baby.

 

++ Joan ++

 

(11-22-03)

 

I hated to admit it, but Kerry’s shrill, angry worry had rattled me. Even after a week, I still felt rattled and off-balance. Romano dogging my every move attributed to the feeling. Both mother and child had survived my risky decision and I was happy to have both earned and spent the karma. 

 

But I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I had cut it too close.

 

Worse, I may have inadvertently encouraged young Michael into a superman complex. That would be disastrous! Thankfully, while he was still jazzed about the close save, he was wisely staying calm and discrete. Kerry was lucky to have him. The harder I worked, the more it would encourage him to do the same. So I threw myself into my work like a woman possessed.

 

Working like a dog didn’t take the edge off the adrenaline, but it tried. A demanding hand on my arm broke through the haze and I blinked wearily into Kerry’s sharp green gaze. “You,” she said in a voice both gentle and demanding. “Are coming with me. And no arguments either. Get your stuff and be down here in five minutes.”

 

For some reason, I didn’t argue, but found myself placidly following orders. Once back in the ER, I was imperiously led outside and crammed into a luxurious four-door by a grim and determined Kerry Weaver. For long minutes we drove in silence, and I let my gaze wander over snow, pedestrian and traffic. Always a deadly combination. And in summer, there were tourists and heat stroke. Amazing that humanity hadn’t wiped itself out yet...

 

“Joan,” Kerry said calmly in a voice so low I could only just hear her. “I appreciate how hard you’ve been working, but running yourself ragged isn’t going to benefit anyone in the long run.”

 

She was right, of course, but I sighed heavily anyway. “I just want to make sure that Michael doesn’t get the wrong idea.”

 

“About what?”

 

“Work ethics, for one. And that save was a lucky break and I don’t want him trying something insanely risky like that.”

 

“Do as I say, not as I do?”

 

It took me a long moment to recognize the wry humor in Kerry’s voice. When I finally looked at the woman, she was smirking. “Yeah, something like that.”

 

“Well, the good news is that you’ve terrified the boy and he’ll play if by the book from now on. I’ve been hovering over him like a thunderstorm for almost a week now. He won’t forget this whole thing very quickly. At least you didn’t do this before Malucci left.”

 

There was an odd tone to Kerry’s voice and I wondered at the accuracy of the rumor mill. Dave Malucci had supposedly said some very mean, hurtful things to her and her tone seemed to confirm that. “That little prick was a waste of skin,” I scoffed and was relieved and upset at her startled and grateful glance. There was a long pause then, a bit of discomfort mixed in with a growing rapport. I had half-befriended Kerry and wouldn’t mind deepening the bond. Hell, if not for young Zo, I’d have made a play for the spunky red-head myself. “So, I take it I’m being absconded to the poker game? Since it’s Thursday and all.”

 

“Yep. It’s about time you got drafted in. The regulars will love having you there.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Don’t be coy with me, Golfino,” Kerry’s voice might be dry, but her smile was downright wicked. “The poker crew will slobber all over your presence. And don’t give me that faintly taken aback eyebrow. You’ll love being the center of attention. And, if you don’t...” The pause made me start to worry, as I was well awake that Kerry Weaver was quite capable of being devious. “It will be a perfect revenge for scaring the hell out of me a week ago.”

 

Damn...

 

I was doomed.

 

++ Sandy Lopez ++

 

She was a goddess. A long-legged, flashing-eyed goddess and I was riveted to the spot. 

 

Then our eyes met and I suddenly knew why wars were started for women like this. She even had a deep, throaty voice that carried warmly as she greeted Maggie, who seemed delighted to see the Amazon. “Doc Golfino, nice to see you. Finally got drafted, huh?”

 

“Call me Joan, Maggie. And prepare to have your ass whipped.”

 

“Ooo, scary,” Maggie sing-songed and headed for the table with her munchies stash. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” flopping down beside me, Maggie whispered in an amused tone, “quit drooling, Lopez.”

 

That made me snap my mouth shut and return my attention to my beer. But I was far too aware of Doctor Joan and my game sucked. Not to mention that my bantering skills were non-existent tonight. Those dark eyes were like a physical presence on me, even if every time I looked, her attention seemed elsewhere. The silent dance between us was exhilarating if not exhausting. I couldn’t care less about the cards, but stayed for her quiet presence.

 

What did I say to her? I was never this nervous around women I was attracted to, never! But there was something about her towering presence that drew me like gravity. And intimidated me like a firestorm.

 

++ Joan ++

 

I was aware of her eyes on me all night. Sultry, dark like jungle moonlight and hotter than the sun, her gaze was a predator and I was breathless. Normally such intensity was intimidating or irritating, but something about the petite firefighter drew me to her. It was as though we knew one another and were drawn to the strange familiarity. I was dimly aware of the other’s amusement at our silent dance, the shy meeting and ducking away of eyes. Frankly, I didn’t give a damn. Not even when Maggie smugly beat me out of my twenty dollar pot. 

 

Sandy Lopez simmered like chili on a hot summer afternoon down south. Sweltering promise of sex and fire danced in her earthy gaze, and that mouth could do things to a girl. There was too much energy in her tiny frame. It was almost a shock that I towered over her, because she took up so much more space than just her physical presence. No wonder Zo had befriended her, they were birds of a feather, dark and sensually energetic. That made me think of the dazedly pleased expression that had lingered in Kerry’s eyes for months from the attentions of her young lover. Seeing that look in Sandy’s eyes made me wet and breathless. 

 

I had been wounded and alone for far too long, aging well past my years inside. In a handful of hours beneath the subtle attentions of this welcome stranger, I was coming back to life.

 

After that realization, it was easy to ask her out, grinning with pleasure at her delight. The future looked bright.


	10. Pearl Harbor Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain leads to healing sometimes.

++ Elizabeth ++

 

(12-7-01)

 

I’d managed to keep myself in a blissful state of denial all damn day. By convincing myself that the unease in my guts was only my American friends reminiscing Pearl Harbor Day, I had ignored what was really torturing me.

 

Until I found myself at the house I swore I would never lay eyes on again.

 

It was bitterly cold on the street as the cab roared away and I was left to stare at what was almost home. One year ago, all my dreams of normalcy and family life died on the ER floor.

 

Of a brain tumor...

 

Of all the ridiculous, one-in-a-million disasters to befall the man I was ready to marry. 

 

The wind turned my tears to ice as I let the memories wash over me. A hundred times, friends had silently asked me what in the world was I doing with a man like Mark Green? If someone wanted me to put in words, I would be at a loss. Mark had been stability to me, normalcy, a chance at a peaceful life of few demands from him. It was an irresistible offer to my restless spirit.

 

Only now... a year later, things were very different.

 

I loved Mark. I loved him then, and I still loved him. I always would. But he was my past, a part of the person I wanted to become then. In the time since the tragedy, I had become someone different.

 

Would I have been happy with Mark? Would we have had children? Would we have... would we have... would we have...

 

There was no point in playing this ‘what-if’ game with my past. Not that I was liable to stop any time soon...

 

Some time must have passed while I stared half-blinded by tears at the house I had been only too happy to leave behind. The real estate agent said they were nice people, with two small children and a dog. Christmas lights glittered cheerfully all along the block and there were a legion of snowfolk decorating the neighborhood like silent sentinels. 

 

It was time to move on, but I didn’t want to budge. Cold, miserable and alone almost felt right this night. 

 

Torn about what to do, the car pulling up behind me didn’t even register until the sound of a door opening cut across the small noises of the night. The sense of self-preservation finally broke through my mood and I whirled defensively.

 

And froze in shock.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Under different circumstances, her expression would have been comical. However, I was horrified at how long it had taken her to react to a strange presence nearby. That wasn’t safe! But the wet tracks of tears and the hurt in her eyes explained it all. “Took me a while to find you,” I explained softly and she sniffled like a child. “C’mere.” Technically, I didn’t know Elizabeth well enough to demand anything of her. Hell, I wasn’t even supposed to like her. Wasn’t I supposed to hate her? And not want to jump her bones. Dammit, gotta change that train of thought... However, I knew when I was needed. It was one of the most useful things my mother had taught me. Slamming the door, I automatically hit the alarm button on my keychain and walked around the hood.

 

I barely made it around the corner of the bumper before Elizabeth broke down. Before I could react, she blurred off of the sidewalk and nearly knocked me ass over teakettle with a tackling hug. What shocked me more than the suffocating grip, was the broken, choked bawl of a sob that broke my heart.

 

“I gotcha,” I murmured softly, wrapping up her shaking body in a tight hug. “I gotcha. You’re not alone. Not anymore, Elizabeth.”

 

A long time passed while we stood in the bitter cold together. Elizabeth quieted, but didn’t release her death grip. “I don’t feel well,” she admitted feather-soft against my collar and I gave her a squeeze.

 

“Then you better let me play doctor. Get in and we’ll find a warm place to wind down.”

 

Releasing the tall woman was harder than I thought it would be and hazel eyes were mysterious and dark in the nearby streetlight. Then a faint, shy smile flitted over her face and those eyes ducked away. Part of me wanted to pursue that expression, but realized that now was really not a good time. She had begun to tremble with cold and I needed to get her warmed up ASAP.

 

I mentally smacked my lizard brain for its first suggestion.

 

Then Elizabeth did something so unexpected that I was left speechless. When she leaned in so close I could see the color of her eyes even in the lousy light, I thought for an insane moment that she was going to kiss me. The shy stroking of her nose against mine, lips barely brushing and cheeks smooth where we touched was just as good. With a faint purring noise, Elizabeth nestled back into my body and sighed shakily. I knew how she felt! Was she always this seductive? Or just when she was so vulnerable? All I knew for a fact was that this was one very strange night.

 

Eventually, I squeezed her gently and once again tried to coax her into the car. “C’mon, let me get you a coffee and get you warmed up. Please?”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

It was the coaxing, gentle ‘please’ that did me in. As much as I dreaded leaving the haven of her arms, the promise of coffee and warmth and her continued presence persuaded me to let go. Maggie took notice of my reluctance, and filed it away behind that alert gaze. Gallantly, she took my elbow and led me to the passenger door, opening it and making certain that I was settled before heading for the other side of the car. I was touched by the gesture. Curling up as best I could, I watched Maggie expertly handle the car, streetlamps and the neon of Chicago flashing over my thawing body...

 

I awoke with a startled jerk at the gentle squeeze on my left hand, and the sudden lack of movement and engine noise. “Wha...?”

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Maggie soothed, squeezing my tense fingers again. Sure enough, I was clinging to her right hand, my entire body curled protectively around the warm contact. 

 

“Good thing you don’t have a stick-shift,” I murmured, overcome with shyness at needing her like this. Maggie chuckled softly, a gentle sound, and the leather seat creaked as she shifted her weight.

 

“You’re gonna be okay,” she murmured as the weight of her head rested lightly on my crown. In the half-embrace I felt very safe. Calm darkness was closing in again and I jerked awake.

 

“I should get home.”

 

I sounded reluctant even to my own ears. Maggie chuckled and yawned. “You are. Look outside.”

 

Sure enough, we were parked beside the massive brick building that was home now. The smooth smell of coffee filled the car and I eyed the tall paper cups in surprise. “Where did you find a coffee shop this time of night?”

 

“Bless Seattle’s Best for their drive-thrus. There are three in town that are open twenty-four seven. Grab your cup. It’s just one of their house blends black, but it’ll re-heat well.”

 

Her voice was light and teasing, drawing me in like a moth to flame. Something about her open body language, her relaxed expression, let me know that I could approach. “Come upstairs with me. You’re too tired to drive.” There was temptation and reluctance in her eyes and I pursued it, leaning in close. “Please, Maggie.”

 

++ Maggie ++

 

It was the coaxing, gentle ‘please’ that did me in. Part of me knew that following her upstairs would forever change us both. At the moment, I couldn’t bring myself to obsess over consequences. Besides, I was exhausted from work, memories and being up most of the night. Mark’s ghost wasn’t repressive now, but a comforting shadow looking over us.

 

Would he approve?

 

As a scientist, it was a ridiculous question. The man was dead and we could preserve him only in our memories.

 

Still, I had to wonder...

 

The walk up to Zo and Elizabeth’s place was familiar, but the circumstances were so different. Beneath the long coat, her body moved enticingly and I struggled to subdue my lizard brain. Once the door was opened, the place was quiet aside from Behbis’ noisy greeting. “I’ll go say hi to the boy if you’ll put my coffee somewhere safe,” I volunteered as Elizabeth disarmed the alarm and brought up a few more lights.

 

“Okay.”

 

I tried to ignore the tingle as our fingers brushed. Behbis croaked and strutted on his perch as I came over to pay him some attention. He was a beautiful bird with his scarlet head and chest and cobalt blue all the way to the tips of his tail feathers. Cooing, I rubbed his chest and skull, while he did the same to my hand. “ _Yasoo,_ Behbis. How are you?” Croaking and clicking, Behbis ‘told’ me about his day.

 

“He likes you,” Elizabeth spoke softly behind me and Behbis squawked and flapped his wings flirtatiously. 

 

“He likes everybody.”

 

“That’s not true and you know it.”

 

“Okay, he likes all women,” I chuckled and grinned over my shoulder.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

With Behbis perched on her upraised forearm, Maggie flirted and flattered the big macaw while he did the same back. I had no clue what to do now, with her standing only a meter away. The feelings in me were contradictory and overpowering. Even now, I could still feel the shame and anger about what had happened between us the first round.

 

“Romano threatened Peter’s career,” I suddenly heard myself say and Maggie’s expression changed. It was too late to be discreet and I took the plunge. “Benton. At the time, I was with him. Somehow, Romano found out that you had approached me and... and I panicked. You deserved better than my cowardice. I’m sorry.”

 

Behbis obediently stepped back to his perch and Maggie leveled a long, hard look at me. “You let him threaten you?”

 

“Not me. The lover I was with at the time. I had to pick my loyalties. Now... the decision doesn’t seem so cut and dried.”

 

That look was so intense that my stomach knotted up, my breath strangled in my throat, my skin was suddenly too tight. With a feline sway, Maggie was in my space, so close that I could taste her breath. I was hypnotized by the earthy darkness of her gaze. An eternity passed while I grew hyper-aware of her proximity and the magnetism that drew me to her. Maggie drew breath, lips parting to speak. I was terrified of what she might say... but I made myself wait for her.

 

A near-soundless wisp of sound...

 

“I forgive you.”

 

And I fell apart.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Part of me didn’t want to say it... But I knew it was true. The pain in Elizabeth’s expression was authentic. As was the relief as she collapsed. It was kinda the reaction I wanted, but now what? Here I was, forced to try and ignore the feel of her body and the way she made me feel. “C’mon, Elizabeth, you need sleep.” Her grip tightened and I felt fond exasperation. “I’ll stay, just lead me.”

 

It was an odd way to phrase it. Kinda flirtatious too. Knock it off, Margaret Anne Doyle! But she felt so good... smelled even better...

 

There were no more tears now, just her labored breathing hot against my neck. The curves of her body nestled with mine, despite the heavy winter layers and I was starting to overheat. Elizabeth had removed her hat and the wild curls trailed over my face like a caress. I couldn’t resist nuzzling them, grinning at the tickle.

 

“What?” Elizabeth whispered into my neck, her tone shy and curious.

 

“Your hair. It’s great. Tickles on the skin.”

 

Jeez-us Mags... pour it on a little thicker...

 

Elizabeth pulled away and I realized that I had fucked up...

 

Only, the apology died in my throat... when... Good god-damn but that was a sexy look. Hot and terrified, Elizabeth’s eyes spoke volumes. I stared, open-mouthed as she reached up to tug her hair loose as she turned away. The curly waves seemed to move with a will of their own like wheatfields with gold and red and earthy rippling among the strands

 

All I could do was helplessly follow her lure to the threshold of her room.

 

It was madness to stay...

 

But I promised that I would.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

The hungry, raw look was unnerving on me, but in a good way. It had been a long time... a very, very long time since I had seen this part of myself. So wild and needy... and scared absolutely shitless. Maggie was really getting to me... I could see it in my own eyes. Growling in frustration at my emotional extremes, I went through my nightly routine of a quick shower and pajamas. Then it was time to face Maggie... so I took a deep breath and opened the door. 

 

Dark hair splayed over the pillows, and her slender frame was only a hint beneath the bedding. “Thank you for staying.”

 

Maggie smiled thinly and flipped back the covers in invitation. Could she be as nervous as I was? If I was reading her expression correctly... definitely. Hmmmm....

 

My natural sense of daring was building. I had long been a wild child before the toils of my life had worn me down to something all too normal. That was the woman Mark had loved. And that was the woman I could no longer be. I was growing old before my time. Zo had seen that and tried to coax me out of that fate. And Maggie certainly didn’t see me as a dried-out old woman, that much was obvious. Beneath her appreciative gaze, I was finding the strength to reclaim myself. So, how did I think this wonderful woman for the ego boost?

 

And would she let me? Did I follow the wary invitation in her expression? Or did I do the safe thing and discuss it?

 

Oh, fuck it.

 

Shaking with anticipation and fear, I climbed into the enormous bed and snuggled up into her warmth. For a moment, Maggie remained rigid as I threw an arm and leg around her, to get as close as humanly possible. Then she unwound and one hand came up to settle into my curls and I felt something utterly unexpected.

 

I felt happy.


	11. A Love Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two desperately need to get it on! Ask and ye shall receive...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: This now-infamous Love Scene has shown up four times before being used here. It was originally written for Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine. It was later rewritten for Sam Carter/Janet Fraiser, then Jinny Exstead/CD DeLorenzo then Barbara Gordon/Helena Kyle and now these two. I like the challenge of altering the framework of the scene for the individual characters.

++ Maggie ++

 

Arousal pooled like molten stone deep in my body. My breath was shallow and labored, skin damp with sweat, heart pounding with carnal need and something not unlike stark terror. All from the feathery warmth of that slow breathing against the nape of my neck and the pressure of the long body at my back. Astonishment swirled with the fear and desire at the intensity of the reaction. As though sensing the conflicting emotions welling up from my half-asleep body, Elizabeth burrowed closer and tightened her loose embrace. A soft murmur rumbled up from deep in the tall woman’s chest and I moaned softly in response. Again Elizabeth stirred and breathed something incoherent across the back of my neck, while I felt the pull of my need shatter my self-control further.

 

The relaxed hand on my abdomen suddenly splayed across the borrowed sweats and pressed against the quivering muscles there. Gentle breathing at my nape changed tempo and soft lips brushed across the tiny hairs protecting my spine. Now I groaned in earnest, unable to control myself. In response, Elizabeth shifted the arm beneath my head to curl around me more tightly. Her breathing grew deeper, heavy and wanting against my skin. Man, I had it bad.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

A slight start of surprise rippled along my body when Maggie’s strong hand covered my own. Something deep and primitive drove me blindly on, the trustingly curved neck, the soft note of desire, the press of the slighter body into my own. Signals I hadn’t given into since my youth, that were still deeply familiar. Maggie jumped when my inquisitive mouth suckled at the base of her neck and my curious tongue caressed her skin. What must she taste like beneath the protective layers of cloth? How hot she burned, low in her body. An answering pull of desire settled in my groin and left me shaken.

 

“I need you,” whispered gentle and urgent against Maggie’s ear. Hoarse with need, there was more emotion in my voice than either of us was accustomed to. Too much, too little, too soon, too long, want her, need her, love her...

 

There was an undercurrent of animal panic in Maggie’s deep moan even as her body begged. All I could do was hold her close and watch the conflict between need and control. It took a moment for Maggie to realize that I had grown still. Only the tiny brush of my index finger, low on her abdomen, gave her any indication that I was still awake. What did we do now? Either deny ourselves… or just give in.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

“Move back for a sec Elizabeth,” I whispered uncertainly and was startled when I rolled onto my back and saw the black, disappointed scowl on her expressive face. This was the part where I could get out. At this moment, I could let her remain disappointed and try and bury this attraction. Or... or I could take an insane chance with this mercurial woman. Something changed in Elizabeth’s expression as I hesitantly reached up to brush over high cheekbones and her chiseled nose before moving on to reddish brows. I explored her with uncharacteristic openness and fascination.

 

“I've never looked at you so closely,” I whispered and a tiny smile flashed across Elizabeth’s face. My heart stopped for a breathless moment and I dropped my fingertips to her lush mouth and begged hoarsely, “Do that again.”

 

Confusion and curiosity etched themselves across Elizabeth’s features, but I didn’t need those familiar expressions. 

 

“Smile. C’mon Elizabeth, please,” I begged, feather soft, needing it like I needed air. Delicate muscles shifted across mouth, cheeks and eyes. There was nothing in my formidable emotional arsenal that could resist that sweet, shy smile. By the shocked, sensual quiver in my gut, I wondered if I had ever seen her smile. The last shreds of resistance were tossed away and she watched in fascination as my worry and fear at long last drained away. My exploring fingers hesitantly coaxed her closer until our breath mingled. “I need you too.”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

At last our lips met, barely brushing, and by tiny degrees the kiss deepened as the heat intensified. Ripples of delight echoed out along my nerve endings as I felt our mutual desires for the first time. We weren’t touching nearly enough and Maggie solved that problem by shifting to her side and wrapping a leg around my hip and thigh. Heat burned through the thick material into my groin, making me dizzy. While mouths and tongues dueled, our hands began to explore. I ran one hand over the expanse of Maggie’s back and over the curve of her hip. That earned a low growl of desire and I leaned away from the kiss to regroup emotionally.

 

“I’ve never had anyone affect me this way before,” came Maggie’s quiet confession and my heart skipped a beat. “You drive me pleasantly nuts.” A gentle grip in her hair coaxed Maggie into another kiss that I felt all the way to my toes. When we came up for air, I was desperate for her, all sense of propriety blown away by the taste and feel of her. 

 

“Teach me how to make love to you, Maggie, please. I’ve never felt quite like this either.”

 

After a long moment’s contemplation, Maggie gave me a quick, hard kiss before playfully pushing me away. “On your back, woman.”

 

Eagerly, I complied and watched as Maggie rose to her knees and worked her slender body into a luxurious stretch. It was a mouth-watering sight. After shaking herself out, Maggie straddled my prone body and settled herself across my hips. I wondered if I looked as nervous as I felt. Earthy-toned hair tickled across our cheekbones when she bent to kiss me again. I lightly stroked the long muscles of toned thighs until Maggie moaned into my mouth, “you know how the clothes work. Take them off.”

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Her long fingers trailed over the different textures of grey material covering me, memorizing every swell and dip hidden beneath. My sudden hiss of reaction made Elizabeth pause and stare into my eyes. “You like that.” It was a statement, not a question. Curious thumbs again brushed over my hardened nipples and I jumped on her with a kiss that was rough and demanding. The fumbling of our fingers with the buttons was lost amid the heavy sounds of our labored breathing. The loose men’s shirt was quickly discarded and I sat back to give her better access. So she ran curious hands ran over my bare arms and traced the line of my shoulders before tugging the silky black undershirt loose from my jeans only far enough to allow her hands underneath. Nothing could have prepared me for the way her callused palms felt against my bare skin, and there was so much more to go...

 

Elizabeth watched me squirm and moan with hooded eyes as her hands roved over my belly to my ribs before creeping higher. Sitting up, she gave me a quick kiss before stripping my undershirt over my head and tossed it away. Sensitive surgeon’s hands swept over my nearly naked torso and I saw stars when she cupped both breasts.

 

“Show me what you like,” she growled and all I could do was moan. 

 

Carefully, I covered her strong hands with mine to show her where to touch and rasped urgently, “please Elizabeth. I need to feel you everywhere.”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

Lazily tracing my index fingers around Maggie’s dark areolas, I found myself hesitant all of the sudden. Maggie groaned in relief and tightened her grip on my biceps, but my hands remained barely moving. “What’s wrong?” She finally asked softly.

 

Startled by the question, I dragged my eyes away from her pale breasts to stare into those captivating brown eyes. Dozens of emotions played tag across her face. “I’m a little… overwhelmed, I guess.”

 

Fondness curled the corners of Maggie’s mouth. “I'll take that as a compliment. Now where were we?”

 

Her butterfly soft kisses soothed my rattled equilibrium until my hands began to explore her again. I was ever so pleased at the satin softness of Maggie’s skin and the warm, weight of her breasts in my hands. I would have never guessed at how good this felt, to feel another woman after so many years. So much wasted time… When my thumbs again brushed over hardened nipples, I again earned a hiss of response. Maggie threw her head back and arched her back as I delicately kneaded her sensitive flesh. I was enthralled by the way her smaller body began to writhe in abandonment, hot color rising on the pale skin.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Gold and brown hair whispered across my mouth and jaw as Elizabeth bent to nuzzle my neck. The pressure of those fingers increased until I was happily pressed against her upraised knees. She knew me so well, even with only minutes on my body. No lover had ever been so thorough, so curious, and so careful of both our needs.

 

“S... sit up, babe, please. So I can return the favor,” I moaned softly and after a distracted moment, Elizabeth complied. Her hands continued to sweep slowly over me as I tugged her loose shirt away from her body. There was nothing but pale skin beneath. Her flushed curves were mouth-watering, nipples the color of blush roses dipped in golden honey. I began to explore her slim, sturdy torso and exposed breasts with a freedom and relish that shocked me a bit. “You’re beautiful,” I hummed quietly into Elizabeth’s soft flesh. Shuttered hazel eyes watched my every move and her nostrils flared with her labored breathing. Teasing kisses against her throat and chin earned a soft note of surrender. I wanted that sound again and trailed kisses up to her nearest ear and caught the lobe to be suckled lightly. Without thinking, I squeezed down on those succulent pink nipples much harder than intended and felt Elizabeth's hands spasm against me. A low, lusty moan grated up from her chest like rusted door hinges being forced open. That was an even better sound, and I wanted it again and again…

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

With a quick twisting of our intertwined bodies, Maggie was again cradled by my familiar bed. The shock of our naked skin pressed together eclipsed every other sensation for long moments. We held one another in the bedroom’s dimness and enjoyed the closeness. All the flirting and fantasizing hadn’t even begun to prepare me for these feelings. Nothing had ever felt like this.

 

“How are you doing?” Maggie purred as she stared in total absorption into my eyes, so close our noses touched.

 

“Wonderful,” I breathed back. “What now?”

 

Chuckling, Maggie continued her earlier exploration of jaw and throat, before expanding her territory. All I could do was pant along for the ride. Never leaving off from her open-mouthed kisses, Maggie suddenly pushed demandingly at me until I shifted away slightly. “What?”

 

“This is perfect, just relax…” she purred softly, the vibrations making my skin sing.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Teasing tongue and lips at the hollow of Elizabeth’s throat gave me the pleasure of the sweet saline taste of her skin. Lower my velvet caresses wandered and she began to tense in anticipation. Then suddenly it wasn’t enough and my mouth moved from tasting the curve of breast to capturing a puckered nipple. Her taste and feel was exquisite and I couldn’t get enough. So when Elizabeth rolled onto her back I was right with her. A broken sound of ecstasy warmed the room in reward for the new sensation. Sucking and pulling at Elizabeth’s body like a starving woman at a feast, I added my own groan of enjoyment in harmony with my new lover. Tender fingers twined in my dark hair to softly caress my scalp. Her gentleness slowed me down and I coiled my tongue sinuously over the hard knot of flesh. Trailing small kisses over Elizabeth’s pale skin, I worked my way over to the other breast to repeat my explorations.

 

“Oh, Maggie...”

 

There was so much trust in that shaky voice, so much vulnerability and need. I knew exactly how she felt, wanted to show her exactly what she could mean to me. Continuing to suckle gently, I wandered a hand downward with a few side trips to caress flat belly muscles, the curve of strong ribs and the tickly indent of her navel. We chuckled briefly at her squirming before my hand slipped beneath the dark blue material of her sweatpants. I propped myself onto my elbow to watch her expression change, the gold-green eyes turn smoky and hot. Wispy curls were glued to Elizabeth's damp forehead and she was panting with excitement.

 

“Are you this soft all over?”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

I perversely tried to take the question literally even as Maggie's wandering hand caressed across my abdomen. “I… I would think so… I’ve never really paid attention before.”

 

Then those teasing fingers slipped into the wiry fur between my legs and my nerves girlie-squealed in reaction. A delighted grin split Maggie’s face. “I like it. Such delicate softness on a woman so badass.”

 

Lost in the sensations, anchored by her burning eyes, I reached down to cover Maggie’s hand with my own. I could feel the curve of knuckles and curled fingers through the soft fleece, an exciting counterpoint to the press of her touch on my sex. Fully cupping her hand around the sweet arch of my groin, Maggie trailed her fingers through the heat and wet. “Raise your knees, lover, and promise you’ll tell me if I do something you don’t like.”

 

“Yes,” was all I could manage to groan around the tension in my body. Long muscles rippled as my thighs drifted apart, one knee nudging up against Maggie’s heat. Eyes locked, the gentle exploration continued. I suddenly felt a single finger slip deeper into the damp at the junction of my thighs, sending body and voice wailing in response and my hand clamped down hard enough to make both our bones ache. Bucking and whimpering, I stayed locked down on that exploring hand and felt tears gather.

 

“What's wrong?” Maggie worried and I shook my head roughly.

 

“... So strong...never felt like this… I...”

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Tracks of wet tears etched their way down Elizabeth’s face and my alarm grew. “Maybe this is all happening too fast. I don’t want to rush you or fuck up your feelings.”

 

Light kisses stole the trails of moisture from the corner of Elizabeth’s clenched eyes as she gradually caught her breath. Her free hand curled into my disheveled hair and pulled my head back until our gazes met. The blazing intensity froze me to the spot, branded my soul and forever left me marked. “From the start,” Elizabeth whispered in a fiercely possessive tone, “You kept me off balance and alert. Even as a pain in the ass Resident. You challenged me, and I failed you once and I will never fail you again. Getting to know you has changed me, made me insanely aware of you. I’ve grown to need you so badly. Give me half a chance to be what you need me to be and you won’t be disappointed.”

 

Vulnerable and awed, I searched her eyes to reassure my frightened heart that this was real. I was always the woman who never wanted to get involved. She would brand me forever... and I was strangely unafraid. We remained hunting one another’s gazes to reassure ourselves of the growing bond. It thrummed like a warm, living thing between us.

 

“Dunno how the hell this happened, gorgeous, but all for it.”

 

“Fate. Now finish me off before I have a heart attack.”

 

“You got it. Slip your hand down here and help me out.”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

My hand in her hair tugged Maggie into a deep kiss while the other slipped down the length of her arm. I was grateful for the baggy sweats as Maggie gingerly curled her middle finger and again I jumped as though I’d been shot. Good God Almighty that felt good… Slowly, Maggie stroked through the heat and wet to map me out, draw out my pleasure. I could barely remember to direct her touch occasionally; I was so lost in her loving. The pattern drew in on itself and centered on the liquid opening of my aching sex. When I pressed urgently onward with our twined fingers, Maggie obliged with a sultry chuckle. “Are you telling me I’m teasing too much?”

 

“Please Maggie, I’m going to need medical attention soon…” I whined, and despite the gravity of the situation, Maggie managed a loving smile. Now the pressure was really on and our libidos growled into high gear. Our twined fingers slid carefully into the dark heat and I moaned again. “Please, Maggie... Please...”

 

++ Maggie ++

 

To that broken whisper we began to stroke in earnest. It was exquisite, the feel of her need and the abandonment on her face. A series of endless moments passed before Elizabeth’s body capsulated with a jolt of completion. I watched the climax scorch across her nerves, race from point to point with the force of a car bomb. Within that satin darkness, the ripples radiated along her long body, pulling her muscles taunt. Head thrown back, body arched into a perfect bow, whining like an animal from between clenched teeth, Elizabeth was glorious. I ignored the ache of the strong hand in my hair and watched the storm pass.

 

Gradually, Elizabeth relaxed into the bed until she was limp and immobile while I watched with baited breath. When the last tremor had passed from body to body, a lazy, satisfied grin curled Elizabeth's mouth. “You can examine me anytime, doctor.”

 

That smug announcement earned a reaction neither of us expected. Delighted laughter bubbled up from my chest to escape me like steam. Elizabeth had only a moment to stare at me in confusion before I buried her face into her sunshine hair and let all the bottled up energy free. Great heaving chuckles wracked my frame as all the emotions crashed through me like vast tidal waves. And through it all, I was safe within the arms of the stunning woman who had moved me so.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

The emotional storm passed as quickly as it had arrived and I understood that Maggie just needed to just lie in the circle of my arms. It was a poignant moment.

 

“Oh woman,” she grinned and I helplessly smiled back. “You are one in a million.”

 

Pleasantly embarrassed and still tingling in all of the right places, I felt warmth on my face and tugged her back onto my body to lose myself in the gorgeous dark hair. “Thank you.”

 

Maggie continued to chuckle softly, the sound not at all mocking, but warm and loving instead. Heartened by her acceptance and lovemaking, I trailed feathery fingertip caresses down her strong back. Hissing with pleasure, Maggie arched up like a pleased cat and nuzzled against my neck with gentle lips. Down her back, up her sides, lingering over the curve of her hips and shoulders. 

 

++ Maggie ++

 

“Tease,” I growled and this time it was her turn to huff a short laugh against my ear. Before I could do more than squeak in surprise, Elizabeth sinuously twisted her body and I was trapped firmly on my back.

 

“Stay,” she purred and sat up, straddling me. That half-lidded, freshly-fucked look was incandescent on her aristocratic features. I was so alert to her body that I had to wonder if she was exuding pheromones and I was helpless to her charms. Having her naked and rosy above me, her cunt wet against my belly and my hand still wet with her pleasure helped...

 

Smiling with feline intent, Elizabeth kept her grip on my wrists while she lowered her head towards my bare torso. The curls got there first, spilling over my skin and I cried out with the pleasure of sensation. Then that aggressive mouth was all over my sweaty skin, pushing my pleasure higher like a bird on a thermal. Oh, she was fishing for a reaction from me, and I decided to hold out, just to feel what she would do to me.

 

The suckling at my skin grew ever more aggressive and I was half blind with the glory of it. The woman wouldn’t stay in one damn place, those lips all over my chest. A nip at my collarbone forced me to growl. “Oh, come now,” Elizabeth hummed playfully and fired me an incendiary glance from among the waterfall of curls. “You can do better than that.”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

It wasn’t until I bit down on a cinnamon-colored nipple, laving the trapped flesh with an aggressive tongue, that Maggie finally begged for mercy. “Please! God, Liz, please!”

 

Certainly, I had always preferred being the aggressor in bed, and I shifted my weight to toss Maggie’s slender body onto he stomach and planted my weight firmly on her ass. “Oh, I’m going to make you feel so good.”

 

There was more than surgery that I could do with these talented hands and I proceeded to prove it to my new lover. Perpetual tensions drained away like freed water even as she grew tense with arousal, squirming beneath me. “Elizabeth... who taught you how... to do this?” Maggie groaned and arched into my touch. 

 

“I’ve got a few skills you don’t know about,” I chuckled and shifted my weight off of her to grab the grey sweats, stripping her naked with a few aggressive tugs. Now I could properly attend to her backside and thighs, earning a moan of approval. “Certainly, you didn’t think I was capable only of surgery?” Levering nearly my full weight on carefully placed hands, I pressed heavily into the small of Maggie's back with enough strength to make her gasp. Tears of near-pain welled up for an endless moment before her torqued vertebrae gave in with an audible pop. Relief flooded down her lower body like warm honey, I could feel it under my hands. A sob welled up as she sprawled limp across my sheets and gave in to the sensations. “Stress is bad for your health, lover. So’s standing on your feet all day and not getting enough sleep. When you’re suffering...” Quickly, I turned her onto her back before ducking down to capture that fine mouth again, losing myself in her taste, and murmured against her lips. “I’ll happily take that pain from you.”

 

Rearing back on my heels, straddling Maggie’s smaller body, I worked to stroke away every line of accumulated tension, inside and out. 

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Expertly lulled into a place of pure sensation, I felt ten feet tall and more alive than I ever had before. She was magnificent at this, my body flushed and writhing beneath her masterful touch. I was buzzing so hard that it took a moment to realize the stroking had changed in intent. 

 

“Give yourself to me...” she growled in that lioness-in-heat tone that I was rapidly becoming addicted to. Arousal flared up hungrily and burned out of control along my well-primed body. There were no words, only this desperate, primitive yearning. Our bodies writhed and twisted on the bed, I clung with punishing force to Elizabeth’s shoulders as she thrust into my aching body with tireless abandon. Savage sounds echoed in the room, we were drenched in sweat. She was perfect, rough and tender and careful to respond to any of my reactions and alter her lovemaking until I was out of my fucking mind… 

 

I wanted it so bad; it was so close, my precious control left in tatters. I was willing to give her everything, to be pried from my shell and made utterly hers. Then it hit me like a freight train and my overstimulated nerves gave up the battle and I screamed in ecstasy until it hurt as the orgasm roared through me like a firestorm. 

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

Pinning Maggie’s thrashing body to the bed with my own weight, I ignored the pain those thankfully-blunt fingernails were inflicting on my poor back. It was as if she had never reached this peak, had never felt the pleasure explode like a geyser, leaving her weak and trembling with reaction. Maggie clung to me like a drowning woman and slowly pulled herself together.

 

“Good God, Liz…” she breathed in an awed tone, staring into my eyes with pupils gone wide. I couldn’t help but grin smugly. A gentle prod from my fingers still buried in her warmth earned a pleasurable grimace.

 

“I’m glad you approve. Now that the edge is off, shall we go again?”

 

“Bring it on, sexy...”


	12. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they’ve taken the first big step... what will happen the morning after?

++ Elizabeth ++

 

It was some time later familiar darkness gave way to unfamiliar warmth. We were twined around one another like sleeping puppies and the bedding was absolutely thrashed. Happily sated to the point of feeble-mindedness, I surveyed the damage with a lazy grin. Half beneath and half wrapped around me; Maggie’s breathing was gentle and even with sleep. What an incredible night! While I was sore, it wasn’t unpleasant. We could pick up where we had left off and I’d be none the worse for wear. Then cold reality slowly began to intrude in upon my foggy mind. Could we make it work? Certainly we had things in common, and certainly there were things we didn’t have in common. If would be interesting, discovering one another’s faults and strengths. The reality of this wonderful woman I was curled up with was worth everything we would have to face. As difficult as making this relationship work would be, the alternative was much to bleak. Fate had dropped this unexpected bond in our laps and there seemed little point in debating it. Carefully, I twisted around until I could prop myself onto an elbow and watch Maggie’s sleeping face. It was so odd to see her this relaxed, the stoic lines of concentration swept away by slumber.

 

“Margaret,” I whispered her full first name, savoring the sound on my tongue. I had read the name on her paperwork and never used it. There was barely a twitch of her long body, so I continued to murmur her name between tiny kisses at throat, jaw, and clavicle. At long last, Maggie woke with a moan and looked around blearily. “Good morning lover.”

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Drowsy and slow with sleep, sex and sensation, I blinked until Elizabeth’s face swam into focus. Not a dream then… not another heated fantasy. Joy swept through me, such a glorious and foreign feeling.

 

“Elizabeth...” I breathed out and hauled her warm nakedness into a crushing hug. “I didn’t dream this.”

 

“No,” she whispered, voice as soft as my own, and returned the embrace fully.

 

“I’m really glad to hear that.”

 

“That makes two of us.”

 

Her lips danced over my cheek and I met her halfway for a deep, soulful kiss. When my hands turned caressing, Elizabeth pulled away, much to my confusion. A smile and a quick peck reassured me. “Before we go any farther, I seem to recall us getting a little rough last night. How do you feel?”

 

“A few lingering pains, wildcat, that’s all. Aside from that, I feel pretty damn great.”

 

“Me too. Where’s it hurt?”

 

“Why are you fussing?”

 

Okay, that earned me a dour glare. “I want you to want me back,” Elizabeth intoned with a touch of her characteristic sarcasm, before going soft again and kissing me tenderly. “Causing pain is certainly not on my agenda.”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

Well, that worked in softening Maggie right up. Warm affection danced in those beautiful eyes, even as she sighed melodramatically and played along. “Fine, you win. You scratched the hell out of my shoulder blades and thighs. But, trust me, I’ll live.”

 

Hot color flooded my face and Maggie grinned in delight. I dimly remembered raking her nails roughly across her back. “Humor me in checking out if you’re fine. Why don't you go climb into the tub and soak for awhile? I’ll go grab that fancy-ass first aid kit Zo keeps in the other bathroom.”

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

We both winced when Maggie sat up. Parallel scratches ran like primitive body art from her neck to the lower curve of her shoulder blades. “Did I do that?” I breathed disbelievingly and Maggie shot me a mischievous look before leaning over to give me a quick, hard kiss. 

 

“Don’t dawdle woman,” Maggie growled at me before climbing out of the bed and sashaying her fine ass from the room. God, I was a lucky girl…

 

After throwing on my bathrobe, I peeked my head out of the door to see if the coast was clear. No music was playing, so Zo was probably still sleeping. Her dancing job kept her out late most nights, and I knew that Kerry was on nights, so I was probably safe. Now, to make a dash for the bathroom in the hall to rummage through the first-aid kit. It was easy enough to find what I was looking for and place the kit back under the sink. Now, I just had to get back to my room.

 

I felt the stare halfway back to my open door. Pausing, I debated acknowledging the heavy presence, instinctively knowing that it was Zo. After I moment, I glanced over my shoulder, only barely turning my body towards her. Coffee mug in hand, leaning on the doorframe into the kitchen, Zo was a silent sentinel. It was written in her expressive eyes; how was I doing? A year and a day had passed since Mark’s death, leaving me with an empty heart and an empty love life. Was Maggie filling that role? Did I know what I was doing?

 

Did I have any answers?

 

Sure I did. Lifting my chin proudly, I let my feelings shine in my eyes. Long moments passed while Zo watched me with that cool, psychologist expression that seemed so strange on her. Then she smiled warmly and gave me an accepting nod. Without exchanging a word, she had carried on an entire conversation. She was that good.

 

Shaking off the encounter, I hurried back to my room before Kerry made an appearance too. In the master bath was a naked, sore Margaret Anne Doyle, whom I had scratched the hell out of while in the grip of passion. The memory brought on a goofy, loving smile and a rush of hormones. They prodded me to hurry back to my lover. Beneath the harsh glare of the bathroom lights, Maggie dozed lightly against the side of the big tub. Those overwhelming emotions swept through me again, leaving me hot and bothered in their wake. Shaking it off, I knelt by the tub and carefully laid a hand on Maggie's arm, knowing full well not to set off her cop instincts. “Honey, wake up,” I purred softly.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Part of me almost overreacted at the now-familiar and still unexpected touch, waking with a start. “Wha...”

 

“Relax,” Elizabeth soothed. “You just dozed off; warm water’ll do that to a body. Feeling better?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“’Kay. Lean forward so I can see your back.” 

 

When the antiseptic bit into the angry scratches, Elizabeth winced at my pained hiss. “Fortunately, they’re not as bad as I’d thought they were. Dry off and come back to bed so I can finish cleaning you up.”

 

“Sure.”

 

As I stood from the water, it sheeted down my body and mesmerized Elizabeth. After ogling for a moment, my lover turned on her heel and retreated into the next room. I grinned at her reaction. After a few minutes, I was mostly dry and stepped into the bedroom to find the bedclothes changed and a pensive Elizabeth staring out the frosted windows.

 

“Elizabeth?”

 

“Good, you’re dry. Lie down and I'll finish.” Not to be dissuaded, I stood in an arrogant pose, arms crossed over my chest. She looked confused that I hadn’t obeyed, but merely eyed her curiously. “Maggie, I merely want to reassure myself that I didn’t damage you.”

 

“Did you call me Margaret earlier?”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

It took a moment for the question to register through my sudden confusion. The silent conversation with Zo had thrown me, forcing me to confront questions that maybe I didn’t want to face. “I’ve read it on your paperwork.” I started to feel more reassured at her warm expression, the stress of these last two days draining away. My past was just that, my past. I was looking at my future now. Grinning with sudden good humor and coyness, I stepped closer to her heat. “I’ve been very aware of you for a long time.” Kissing Maggie softly, I pulled the sash of the robe open and pressed our naked skins together. “I’m very glad I can show you now.” Any resistance Maggie might have been showing melted away as she wrapped her arms around me and pushed the robe away. It was so easy to get lost in her... “Now, will you lie down so that I can see if I hurt you?”

 

Maggie rolled her eyes with a warm smile. “Yes mom.” But not before she yanked me roughly into her slender body and kissed me with an open-mouthed fervor that left me breathless. Smirking, Maggie at last went to the bed to lie down on her stomach, but left her legs spread just enough to torture me. I soaked another cotton ball in antiseptic and used it to swipe at the stripes on her back and the crescent-moon troughs my fingernails had left in her thighs. “I can’t believe I did this,” I mused distractedly, remorseful at damaging her fine skin.

 

“If you were half as turned on as I was, I can. Is that why you’re so uncomfortable?”

 

For a moment I froze, sightlessly watching a trickle of antiseptic trail down her side. Shaking it off, I continued on my appointed task. “Partially. But...”

 

Maggie suddenly rolled over and looked me square in the eye. “I don’t regret what we did for a second, Elizabeth. This isn’t going to be easy, but you’re worth it.” Once more, she smiled and I found myself relaxing. “Besides, I like that you don’t hold back. You’re very honest in bed and that makes me feel like a million bucks.”

 

No lover had ever flustered me so, and Maggie reached out to pull me into a friendly hug. Snuggling into her, I made myself show the vulnerability in my voice. “I don't feel as though I deserve you loving me. And this could be dangerous to us professionally.”

 

“My feelings have nothing to do with whether or not you deserve them. As for the hospital, we’ll just have to be discrete. Now finish up with those scratches and we can pick up where we left off last night.”

 

++ Maggie ++

 

I kept the challenge in my eyes, willing us both to believe what I was saying. To be completely honest, I was terrified of a repeat performance with Romano. I was also absolutely certain that Elizabeth could handle the evil little man. With a shuddering breath, Elizabeth pulled her composure around her and smiled weakly. “I’m sorry that I’m being so chickenshit about this. I’m feeling a bit rattled this morning. On your tummy again.”

 

“Yes ma’am,” I chuckled, relieved at her candor. It was torture to have to just lie there while she tickled over my skin. Even the sting was becoming a mere nuisance when all I could concentrate on was her touch…

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

Trying to ignore the soft scent of Maggie’s damp skin and growing arousal was becoming more and more difficult the longer it took to check over her damaged skin. Finally they were mostly cleaned and the worst ones covered, so I could run my hands over all that soft skin just to hear Maggie purr. I couldn’t imagine ever tiring of that sound or all of the other sensual noises the woman made. “On your back now and spread your legs, knees up. There’s a few spots I can’t reach.”

 

This was going to be a lesson in self-discipline, I mused to myself as Maggie arranged herself like a sacrificial offering to some kind of pagan sex god. It was a fanciful, sexy thought that made me chuckle as I settled myself on the bed between her raised knees. During our earlier lovemaking we had never been in this position and I stared in fascination at the tender strawberry folds on display. That intoxicating scent and glittering moisture teased unmercifully.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

“Let me know if I hurt you,” she whispered in a strangled voice. As embarrassing as being on display like this would normally make me, I was too desperate for her touch to care. Both of my hands were agitatedly rubbing my thighs in response to the energy building inside. At the brush of her fingers on my skin, I groaned with feeling.

 

“C’mon Elizabeth, this is gonna kill me.”

 

Nodding wordlessly, Elizabeth bent to her task with captivated fascination. In the bath earlier, I had examined the crescent moon marks left by her nails high on the inside of my pale thighs. My train of thought was brought back on track by her touch, so close to my crotch that I could only whine at the torture.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

It took all of my formidable will to remember that I was kneeling between Maggie’s legs to doctor the inflamed skin I had damaged before and not take advantage of her. Not yet anyway. At the first tickle of the gauze, she jumped and cried out, leaving me hanging onto my self-control by tattered threads. So I gritted my teeth until my jaw ached and focused on finishing my task. I nearly hyperventilated when Maggie’s hand came to rest lightly on my head, massaging my scalp and gradually drawing me closer to her heat. The intoxicating scent of her arousal battered unmercifully at my determination before I finally finished. “You ready?” I hissed tightly, needing her so bad I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.

 

“Yes, oh, yes,” Maggie panted, her voice gone broken and squeaky with need. It would have been humorous if I hadn’t been ready to combust myself.

 

“Good.”

 

And with that monosyllabic conversation, I finally gave in to our mutual curiosity and need. Maggie let out a sound halfway between a startled squeal and a broken sob of pleasure as my lips and tongue sought out her most intimate secrets. Warm, spicy, musky and sweet, there were no words to describe the exhilarating taste. It had been far too many years since I had allowed myself the pleasures a woman could bring. Never again. Gathering up the sultry moisture, I moaned in ecstasy and was rewarded with more sounds of pleasure. Every dip and swell was explored thoroughly until Maggie was begging incoherently for mercy. Like an implosion, the energy gathered along her long body and I clung to her shaking thighs for dear life. Trembling along every nerve, tendon and muscle, it waited for some signal, some outlet for release. Wanting to know her utterly, I slowed the stroking of my tongue and felt the shape of the focal point of my lover's pleasure. The tiny glands like delicate wings, so coy and alluring as they flirted with my gentle tongue. Restlessly, her hands clenched and unclenched in my long hair and her slender hips rocked slowly to the heartbeat we shared. Scorching energy coiled tighter and tighter and then suddenly shattered with Maggie’s howl of release.

 

It was all I could do just to ride out the thrashing climax, and every bruise and pulled hair would be well worth it. With a fond, almost chaste kiss to those delicate glands, I climbed up Maggie’s body to grin down at her. “Better?”

 

++ Maggie ++

 

All I could do for long moments was hum wordlessly as my brain wrestled control away from my libido. Elizabeth kissed me softly, and feeling like a fairy tale princess, I stirred back to life. There was a new level of feeling here, the bond had deepened and strengthened. Elizabeth chuckled softly when I began to run my tongue inquisitively along her lips and teeth. Sensing the question, she allowed a small space between us so our eyes could meet.

 

“I like how I taste like on you.”

 

An altogether sexy grin played across Elizabeth’s damp face and my heartrate jumped up like stomping on the accelerator. “So do I.”

 

All I could do was answer her with a breathtaking kiss before proceeding to lick her face clean. Never in a million years, could I have imagined Elizabeth Corday giggling like a kid, but I loved it. Our laughter turned into an impromptu wrestling match that I leapt into with enthusiasm. Soon Elizabeth was pinned and gradually gave into my wiry strength.

 

“Now that you have me, Doctor...” Elizabeth purred with a teasing grin on her face and I caught my breath unsteadily as she writhed sensuously beneath me. “What are you going to do with me?”

 

Like I was going to pass this opportunity. “Okay Liz, I can play this game. I wanted a chance to examine you properly anyway.”

 

“Oh did you now?”

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

Ignoring my taunt, Maggie gathered both of my wrists in one powerful hand and pinned them just above my head. Vibrant dark eyes intent on their task, she began to trace every line and arch of my face. Mouth and fingers gently explored the curves of cheek and nose, the delicate surface of my trembling eyelids. It was relaxing, sexy and loving. I adored it, adored the way she made me feel, basked in it. When I tried to steal a kiss, Maggie flashed her best ‘serious doctor’ look. “No. You’ll have to be patient.”

 

A faintly disappointed moan echoed up from my chest to tease Maggie’s lips where they rested on my windpipe. Every muscle and tendon felt her gentle touch. Then she suddenly sank her teeth into the side of my throat and I cried out in ecstasy and surprise. I whined like a dominated animal as she insistently tormented the pulsing line of my vulnerable jugular vein with her mouth. There was something intently feral about having those sharp teeth close to where they could so easily take life. Particularly since I was fully aware of just how much damage she could do if she was intent on harming me. And, as much as I trusted her, animal fear drove my adrenaline higher, making my head spin. Then I relaxed I accepted that she would never really hurt me and my broken noises became those of desire again. A low growl from Maggie pushed me further towards madness.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

My journey continued across the delicate hollow at the base of Elizabeth's throat, followed by a quick nip at a shy clavicle, and open-mouthed kisses warming sternum and flat pectoral muscles. Soon I was memorizing the soft curve of breast, but studiously ignored the hardened nipples as well as her begging.

 

“Please Maggie... I need you...”

 

“Patience...”

 

Slowly, I worked my way across the barely hidden corrugated pattern of strong ribs, the firm expanse of belly and abdomen, leaving Elizabeth writhing and gasping. An evil thought occurred to me and before Elizabeth could do more than gasp in surprise, she was on her stomach with her wrists trapped firmly in the small of her back. “What the...”

 

Wet, suckling kisses outlined the terrain of Elizabeth's back and shoulders, leaving the smaller woman writhing and whimpering shamelessly. She tasted so good; I couldn’t help by mark her hard. Eventually, I passed over her imprisoned wrists after placing a teasing lick on each fingertip. Elizabeth was moaning constantly now and desperation was making her sound downright animal-like. I doubt she even realized that she’d managed to arch those sexy hips arched up and who was I to keep my new girl waiting?

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

Having that shockingly talented mouth so close to my most powerful need was driving me mad. Having my wrists imprisoned and my movements gently restrained was heightening my concentration on the sensations flashfiring through my nerves. I could take no active role in Maggie’s lovemaking and it was a fierce turn-on.

 

Then I gasped and squealed in shocked pleasure when Maggie abruptly burrowed into the warm crevice between my asscheeks. That wicked tongue firmly stroked the exquisitely sensitive patch of flesh between my aching sex and anus. I couldn’t help but jerk back into her hard enough to earn a grunt of what could have been surprise or pain. So that evil, tormenting mouth trailed lightly over the skin close, so close to where I needed her mouth so bad I was ready to sell my goddamn soul… and kissed the backs of my tense thighs. A wordless wail of protest shattered the heated air as I let loose my protest to the long, slow road she was leading me along. To draw out the torment for just a few more moments, Maggie leaned away to no doubt study her handiwork like the damn good doctor she was. I was wet, swollen, crazy, and could smell the intoxicating fragrance of my need all the way up here.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

“Please... please... please...”

 

How I adored making a woman beg! Quickly releasing Elizabeth’s wrists, I dropped onto my back and wrapped both arms around her trembling thighs. A hoarse cry wrenched itself from her as I bodily shifted her onto my waiting mouth. I felt the pleasure roar along her nerves and explode from her in a broken scream of release. Unmerciful, I continued to suckle the aching focus of Elizabeth’s pleasure even as she whimpered for mercy or more it was difficult to tell. She felt so damn good, hot and tangy, with sexy, soft folds and curves, that wiry brown hair tickling and scratching my skin as she danced on my face. Again that fucking energy gathered and Elizabeth whimpered almost like she was frightened, fingers clenched into my hair so tight that I was in fear of being scalped. I wanted to leave this woman with no defenses, no protocols, no rules, no sanity. I wanted to brand her sex drive as mine, if anyone dared touch her again; I wanted her to feel only me. My animal brain snarled and bared its teeth, a rumbling growl shaking my bones to vibrate into her quivering pussy. Like a creature freed from its cage, the climax was torn from Elizabeth with a scream that left her blind, mute and utterly helpless.

 

It was a long moment before I could think clearly enough to crawl up from between her shaking thighs and gather my sobbing lover into strong arms. Her sweaty, dark head was tucked into the hollow of my neck and shoulder before I spoke gently. “Rest now, and I’ll watch over you, lover.”


	13. Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The obligatory Christmas/Hannuka/Yule, etc chapter.

++ Zo ++

 

(12-24-01)

 

There was one kid in particular that was totally underfoot the whole night. Her name was Maria and she chattered incessantly at me in both English and Spanish until even my ADD brain was having trouble keeping track. Her mommy had gone into labor and Maria had grown bored enough to wander the hospital. As distracting as she was, I would rather have her with me where it was safe than prowling the hospital on Xmas eve. Fortunately, she was content to clamber over the nearby chairs in the waiting lobby of the ER and carry on a notably one-sided conversation with me.

 

The massive ER piece that I had decided to entitle ‘Life & Death’ was my project for this evening. Two days ago, the delivery service I’d contracted had gotten it here. But since it was effectively a donation for the hospital, I was going to hang it myself. Sure, the hospital had given me some money for it, but it covered little more than supplies. Which was fine, because this piece was meant to be here. While my hospital family slaved away on Q Public, I was hoping to bring a little color and emotion to the dingy waiting room.

 

Easier said than done... learning to paint, to me, meant learning every facet of the art. I had taken classes including every skill conceivable relating to a canvass and paint. I knew how to mix paints from their component supplies, including the old-fashioned way. I knew how to choose wood and stretch my own canvasses. And, in this case, I knew how to hang the completed work. It wasn’t my canvass that was making me mental, but what the staff had bought to go with it.

 

It was a plexiglass cover so that the painting would remain unharmed. While I was touched by the gesture, the thing was proving to be a bitch to get into the right place. It wasn’t until I drafted Maria’s little hands to help that I was able to finally finish up.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

Maria snuggled into my lap where I was sprawled in a chair and eyed the colorful behemoth. “It looks like here,” she finally decided and I hugged her.

 

“That’s exactly what I was trying to say.”

 

++ Maggie ++

 

(12-25-01)

 

I had kept an eye out on Zo and her little shadow all night. Eventually the exhausted and frantic father had come running and a reluctant Maria was off to meet her new baby brother. It was a good memory to add to my stock of Christmas eve/day. Too many people had died on my watch over the years. Too many families were ripped apart by tragedy on the holidays. Sighing heavily, I continued rummaging around my locker, even though I’d completely forgotten what I was looking for. The door thumped open and I half-heartedly glanced over my shoulder, only to smile widely. I’d know that delicious body wrapped in familiar scrubs anywhere.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Elizabeth purred and sashayed over to wrap my exhausted body in a crushing hug. Two and half weeks of getting to know this woman had been the greatest delight of my adult life and it honestly seemed to be mutual. “Oh my, what’s this?”

 

She had snuck a piece of mistletoe onto the top edge of my locker and I didn’t even hesitate to tug her into a long, slow kiss. It was the kind of embrace where the rest of the world faded away, the kind where souls felt like they were touching. Hard to believe how much we had changed with time, how differently the fireworks between us burned. We’d had a ferocious argument not a week into the relationship that had nearly come down to a fistfight. But the make-up sex was shattering. Talking later, we agreed that the high emotions were too much a part of who we were, both together and apart. But with communication, we had a damn good chance of a solid relationship. There were many interests we shared and many we didn’t, and even more that we were curious about, so the interest level was high. Elizabeth remained unfazed by the idea of my noisy Irish-Italian family that filled half the police force of the Windy City. The jury was still out as to whether she would meet them today on Christmas or some later date.

 

I couldn’t help but grin at the idea of my icy-hot lover meeting my family. They wouldn’t know what hit them....

 

“What?” Elizabeth grinned, our noses still touching.

 

“Just picturing you sparring with my family. You’ll run circles around them. All they have going for them is numbers. Now c’mere and give me a kiss that will last the whole shift.”

 

Elizabeth was good enough to comply with the request.

 

++ Kerry ++

 

In the hours before dawn on Christmas day, the new shift was on-scene and I happily let Zo bundle me into the truck and take me home. For a major holiday, it hadn’t been too bad. It was busy, but not insanely so. It was the skeleton crew that killed me. With about a third of our usual numbers, it had been a long night at Cook County General. Maggie made me leave first; laughing that the longer she stayed the later she was to her family’s get-together. I still envied her to some extent.

 

But I had my sweet Zoey. Even with the anniversary of her parent’s death a week away and hundreds of miles between her and siblings, my girl was pretty chipper. Any deep darkness in her soul was exorcized onto the canvasses, and some of them lately were pretty dark. 

 

I jerked awake as the truck slid to a halt and the engine died. “Home, baby,” Zo purred and I stretched and yawned. My hip ached fiercely from the long night and bitter cold. A long bath would be in order, but presents first! “I know that grin. You want presents.”

 

“Hell yes!”

 

“Sleep first.”

 

“No!” Obstinately, I halted at the bottom of the stairs and crossed my arms. “Presents.”

 

Zo paused on the steps, eyebrow raised at me as though she couldn’t believe what I’d said. Playing up to her expression, I pouted like a child and tried to hold back my smile. “Okay,” Zo drawled slowly and began to stalk back towards me. Watching Zo move was true poetry, every line of bone and muscle like a well-oiled machine. My libido rose to the occasion and my heart swelled with adoration as she stepped in so close that I could smell her. “I’m going to take you upstairs,” Zo whispered in a soft, sultry voice. “I’m going to take you upstairs and give you a gift the likes of which will brand your memory forever.”

 

I could only giggle as she scooped me into a fireman’s carry and made good on her promise.

 

++ Maggie ++

 

Dragging my weary-ass body to the doctor’s lounge, I thumped heavily through the door, nearly tripping myself in the process. A yawn that made my eyes water and my jaw ache didn’t help any. But a grinning Elizabeth pouring over paperwork made me grin helplessly. “Be with ya in a sec,” I yawned again and she chuckled. God, I was so tired. A Christmas Eve all-nighter in the ER, plus a chunk of hours this morning was not my idea of a good time.

 

“Do we get a nap before family?”

 

Snorting expressively into my locker, I rummaged around for my jacket and backpack. “I still don’t know if I want to share you. But I suppose my ma’ll beat me if I bail on her. God, my brothers are gonna be such pigs to you.” The whining note my voice had slipped into made her laugh.

 

“Maggie.”

 

“Good lookin’ babe like you.” I ranted, stripping off the lab coat and stuffing it unceremoniously into the locker. “And that accent! Jeez, my idiot brothers think New York is another country. They’re gonna think you’re from another planet.”

 

“Maggie,” Elizabeth laughed at my grumbling rant and I finally looked over at her, grinning mischievously. “Come here.”

 

So I sauntered over, warmed thoroughly when she grabbed me by the hips and pressing her face to my tummy. It was an intimate, loving embrace. “I’d like to show off that I was smart enough this time to do whatever it took to make you happy. Your family will have to be my family. Perhaps Susan would like the company as well.”

 

“Yeah, that’s cool,” I murmured, warmed with pleasure at her words. “But you really have no clue what you’re getting into.”

 

“Maggie, I’m an only child that was raised by nannies and boarding schools. I have no clue period.”

 

“Yeah, good point. Okay, sexy, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Let’s get out of here.”

 

“With pleasure.”

 

“No, that’s later,” I leered and we left among our laughter.

 

++ Elizabeth ++

 

Despite my bravado back at the hospital, I was scared to death. What in the hell had I been thinking? It was the spark of excitement and relief in Maggie’s expressive eyes that had made me push it. She wouldn’t say it, but she really wanted this. So, here we were, on the crowded street where Maggie had grown up.

 

The whole street was crawling with people, from babes in strollers to old men and women hobbling along on stiff legs and aluminum walkers. Maggie slammed on the brakes as a storm of snowballs pelted the car from all angles. A chorus of howls and yelling sounded out like a war cry. 

 

“Should I be in fear for my life?” Susan deadpanned dryly as bodies came out of nowhere to descend on Maggie’s much-beloved convertible. “Told you we should have taken my car.”

 

There were what sounded like a hundred hands slapping at the metal frame and the heavy cloth roof, while Maggie shook her head and sighed melodramatically. A roughly opened door sent two of the heavily-bundled figures sprawling into the snow, and Maggie dove on them amidst much cheering and cat-calls. I shivered in the bitter winter cold that flooded into the once-warm interior and Susan thrust my coat at me.

 

The chaos outside sounded like a cross between a sports match and a brawl. Taking a deep breath to fortify my nerves, I grabbed Maggie’s beloved White Sox jacket and gingerly opened the door. Several bodies required a nudge to move enough to let me step out. I smiled as best I was able at several curious looks and let Susan out. Much to my amusement, Susan jumped right into cheering for Maggie, who was still wrestling a much larger, male body in the snow.

 

There was a thunderous roar of approval that went up when Maggie came up on her knees, and the man’s arm was in a firm police hold, incapacitating him. Slapping him affectionately in the head, Maggie climbed to her feet and strutted like a boxer, half-soaked and flushed from exertion and cold. She was adorable and magnificent. A jacket materialized from the crowd that was pressing in to hug her and say hello. That soothed one worry, namely exposure, and I watched the gathering of people.

 

It was astonishing, really, the quantity of people and the range of ages. Even more astonishing, was that Maggie knew every one of them. It made me realize what I had missed in my sterile upbringing. But, as I threatened to get morose this Christmas day, my sweet, sassy lover smiled at me from the center of the whirlwind and my heart soared.

 

She was all the gift I needed.

 

++ Kerry ++

 

Hard to believe it had been five months and four days since we’d first come together. The more I got to know Zo, the more I adored her. It was already as though I had always been with her for a lifetime, our good and bad balanced, our strengths and weaknesses well matched. If someone wanted me to explain it, I couldn’t do it, but I also couldn’t see it any other way. For the moment, I was perfectly content to be curled up on the deeply stuffed futon mattress before a roaring fire, watching my firecracker dance around the tree as she decorated it. 

 

Honestly, the little pine was pathetic, but not surprising, since Zo had removed it from its tentative foothold in a deserted lot somewhere near the waterfront district. But she adored the spindly thing, lovingly covering every branch and needle with glory. And having a jolly good time doing it, too.

 

We had yet to get to the collection of presents beneath the tree, despite my earlier protests. Her enthusiastic lovemaking had been a very effective distraction. Outside of bodily necessities and some Christmas baking, I hadn’t left this cozy spot. Even my hip was quiet tonight, pleasantly warmed and relaxed from my sweet lover’s endless attention to the whole leg. It was still a miracle to me that she never made me self-conscious about my lamed leg, merely quietly and matter-of-factly working her own life around it. 

 

Lost in my thoughts, I was almost startled by Zo flopping down on the mattress. “Merry Christmas, my love,” she purred, steadying my mug, before plucking it from my fingers and setting it aside. Not that I cared, because she was far more interesting than cocoa.

 

“Merry Christmas,” I murmured back, rolling onto my back so that I could reach up with both hands and trace her distinctive features. For long minutes, she remained quiet, perched on her elbows and smiling ever so faintly, green-blue eyes intense. Always so overwhelmed by her, tears filled my eyes.

 

“What is it?” Her voice was feather-soft, loving and kind.

 

“Just,” I paused to sniffle and Zo tenderly brushed the wet from the corners of my eyes with her thumbs. “Love you so much. Still blows me away.”

 

“I know exactly what you mean,” she whispered, and the rest of the world faded away from us.

 

It was the best Christmas ever.

 

**The End**

**For now…**

 

 

"With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice."/ ~Oprah Winfrey


End file.
